What should a guy about to turn 30 with absolutely no direction in his life read?
Are there books to help with such a condition?
What do you read when you're unsure of your footing in this strange and complex life we have?
What should a guy about to turn 30 with absolutely no direction in his life read?
Kierkegaard
This book cured my social anxiety and chronic masturbation.
Hell yeah, brother.
>chronic masturbation
i'm sure you're talking about this particular scene:
>Ignatius touched the small erection that was pointing downward into the sheet, held it, and lay still trying to decide what to do. In this position, with the red flannel nightshirt around his chest and his massive stomach sagging into the mattress, he thought somewhat sadly that after eighteen years with his hobby it had become merely a mechanical physical act stripped of the flights of fancy and invention that he had once been able to bring to it.
>At one time he had almost developed it into an art form, practicing the hobby with the skill and fervor of an artist and philosopher, a scholar and gentleman.
>There were still hidden in his room several accessories which he had once used: a rubber glove, a piece of fabric from a silk umbrella, a jar of Noxzema. Putting them away again after it was all over had eventually grown too depressing.
What is it that you have always longed to know, understand or do?
I don't mean a list of hobbied.Tell me a couple things that are really close to your center as a person.
In all likelihood you need an artistic pursuit, not a book. Artistic pursuits can give you unlimited meaning and pleasure over a lifetime. Not at first, at first you get nothing and have to he patient and steadfast.
The Creed of a Savoyard Priest
Well anon, it's like the old adage goes: start with the greeks.
Why do you have no direction in life?
What were your parents doing?
Not op, but they alternated between ignoring me or being demotivational while mentioning how I was much more low maintenance than my older brother. After graduating highschool my depression worsened to the point I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed or eat. I used to measure the quality of my days by how many times I thought about killing myself. In a good day it was only half a dozen times or so. I felt like some creature absolutely divorced from humanity and the idea of having ambitions, hopes, a future, a gf or even going to the beach with some friends felt completely alien to me. After three years I miraculously found the strength to fight it and start living again. Told all of this to some people and without fail they always asked about what my parents did at the time and then promptly become flabbergasted when I answer "nothing". At first I didn't even understand why they were so surprised or felt the need to ask that. Took me another couple of years to realize that most people's parents are there for them and that the way mine raised me wasn't normal. Tbh I don't wanna resent my family and repress or downply a ton of abuse I went through. I'm not alright and some days I wonder if I'll ever be. Talking about it with them is useless since they'll either deny it, mock me, gaslight me, or imply everything was my fault despite how absurd it is to fault a child for the way you raised them and the things you did to them.
I'm still trying to live tho. At the end of the day that's all we can do.
My parents were there for me and I went through a similar phase of extreme depression. They desperately tried to help me but it was useless, the hell in my head was unreachable by outsiders. Your parents aren't necessarily at fault for what you went through tbh
My post didn't imply my parents were responsible for my depression, just that they did a frickton of shit to me and neglected me in the way no parent should. They hit me, isolated me, encouraged my brother and schoolmates to bully me, punished me when I tried to defend myself and even pulled some bizarre shit involving sleep and food deprivation that'll probably have long term consequences on my health during my boomerhood. My mother is the stereotype of the narcissistic bpd single mother and my father is a deadbeat.
Read the Bible. Repentance is the only true therapy, at least in my experience.
Believe it or not you're one of the most normal types of people that frequent this no man's land of a website. Don't stay too long, you can do some serious damage to yourself just seeing some of the heinous shit people post here.
I've been here since I was thirteen. My older brother thought that showing IQfy to his younger bro was hilarious.
Damn. I knew I was going out on a limb assuming you were new but you truly sounded to normal to still be here after such a long period of time. After a certain point that's on you. Just like it's on me.
>you truly sounded to normal to still be here after such a long period
I don't even like being here but there's nowhere else to go. It's completely pathetic but IQfy is the only stable thing in my life.
>After a certain point that's on you. Just like it's on me.
Definitely.
It's worse than pathetic, bro. It's dangerous. Your life might just get better from you just dropping the habit, or at least cutting down on it. I can say from experience that much of the things I wish I never saw, I saw here. And seriously you are much closer to sanity then a lot of people here who really mean to drag you into their hell. Not worth it. If you have your life together then it's safe browsing on occasion but if it's in the shitter then you're playing Russian roulette pulling this site up.
>Talking about it with them is useless since they'll either deny it, mock me, gaslight me, or imply everything was my fault despite how absurd it is to fault a child for the way you raised them and the things you did to them.
Extremely real. I have mixed feelings on the matter of my parents but I can definitely attest to a sizable amount of neglect and lack of care for my well-being. Not that I never went without food or anything but we were desperately poor when I was a child and in order to keep said food on the table I was relegated to the background most of the time unless there was a justifiable reason to yell at me for an hour or punish me in some way so that they could take out the anger of their shitty lives on me. Thankfully, my brother and sister reached adolescence after we had scraped ourselves out from abject poverty and didn’t retain very many memories of that time. My parents likely forgot all about it and if that time ever gets brought up they pretend that it was as peachy keen as it is now. The most I ever got from either of them in the way of an apology was a half-admittance from my mother as an aside to a random conversation several years ago that she used to let out her anger on us. Not even an apology tacked onto it, just stating that it happened as if it was as boring as the weather. My brother and sister got nearly whatever they wanted once my parents had money to spend on things other than the essentials and I got trauma that didn’t happen. I feel you man. /blog
That's rough, sorry anon.... maybe read the stoics though
dont listen to these incels
read Mystery Method
>Mystery method
Cringe as frick, if you gonna read about dating, read Models by Mark Mason.
30 is the new 14, applies to both genders
Give me a quick rundown
i was told to inspire the next
I would recommend reading in general, especially the classics. But I also read Oswald Spengler as I neared thirty and was glad I did.
I think if you are really are honest with yourself there is an obvious impulse that you should follow up on. But to a certain degree, you’re just going to have pick a path to walk and live with your choice.
If you’re 30 and still have nothing going then it’s fricking over. Your parents majorly failed your ass so maybe you can take solace that it’s not all your fault. But don’t worry that’s many of us, I too am about to turn 30 as I still cannot find work, almost out of money, no gf and watching all my peers get shackled up with their person. It’s fricking over.
Try reading Umberto Eco
After reading him I've developed a passion for language learning and the Medieval period
I want to learn at least French and Latin and German may be on the cards
For me becoming knowledgeable for its own sake is my direction in life
The Road to Character by David Brooks is very good and I think it's what you're looking for.
Something more spiritual or more “practical”?
You should buy a Yamaha or a ktm
stop reading right now. You either start writing or find another hobby.
You need to start creating or you will end up having lived an empty life. If you have not found a purpose by 30 you are really fricking up and leaving it way too late. You need to find your thing asap.
I'm thinking of joining the Air Force at 30 lads... is it a cope to join the forces at this age? I assume at least you'll be part of a tradition with a real history behind it, can escape the corporate rat race, and if you join as an officer there's still a pedigree of class and IQfyness about it.
If you have already bitten down on the cope rope that you will never be a pilot then sure go for it. You won't be escaping any rat races and they are probably the most science oriented branch aside from space farce. I mean, why bother even asking IQfy at all when you can just go do it.
I joined at 27. I have a TS, bachelor's, several industry certs and one "deployment" to a Post-First world country. It's better than rotting in your home town working at a grocery store or something. You'll probably hate where you're stationed and despite the thanks for your service when you have to walk into Wholefoods in uniform, their discomfort and recognition of you as an outsider, interloper and alien is palpable. You could get welfare for life and a Korean wife, though.
Good stuff mate, what trade did you join?
1D7 "Cybersecurity" but they've changed the name twice since I joined.
What made you join at 27? Not gonna lie I'm considering applying today because I simply can't see a route forward anywhere else. I hate corporate culture, I don't have the skills to build my own firm, I just don't know where to go. A military career would no doubt provide everything from the jump and a structure I need. Is that reason enough? I'm a bong btw.
Ten years of living on your own in the city with no prospects. I think precarity is worse, here. I can't speak for rent but most people cohabitate out of convenience and can't leave relationships because it would end in mutual homelessness. This is to say nothing of leaving your region to greener pastures in-country. If you truly have no outside help and no money to begin with because your job is bad you might as well say you'll move to Tokyo or Dubai. It's just as unfeasible. My mom died of cancer and I couldn't find a job with an overpriced paralegal certification because I'm not personable and don't speak Spanish.
You can easily make it a career but depending on your job and what you want to do and your preference of Lifestyle it might not make sense for instance they have a very hard time retaining cyber guys so if they don't offer me Germany when it's time to extend then I'm just going to go work for Boeing or stay in the ecosystem as a civilian with preferential hiring and significantly more money.
Charles Dickens. Start with Pickwick, maybe Nickleby next, Oliver Twist for third. He covers so much societal ground. A lot of people take it for granted.
Become a politician.
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