What's the name of his next book?

Dear Thomas Pynchon,

You are an uncultured plebeian of the lowest common denominator and I first realized this when I happened to chance upon Gravity's Rainbow in 2nd grade. Scatological ramblings such as yours may impress the dimwitted hoi polloi and the cultural marxists who have transformed our nation's august universities into dens of iniquity -- but all the proud, intelligent, white men who have refused to fall prey to your style of degeneracy must surely look upon your writing with nothing but the lowest contempt.

Excuse me, I am getting ahead of myself--I had intended to start this letter by mentioning how much I loved the porno videos that your niece was in. Your niece is such a fricking bawd, holy shit. Her "Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men" was supremely beneficial to me in many ways; I hope I'm not being too forthcoming when I say there is a special spot deep in the craw of my bodice that your niece and her special talents have--exacerbated, let's say? Now, I am not tasteless nor a hypocrite -- my standards of porn are very high: no filthy non-Caucasians; there must be art in the direction, choreography, the rhythm of the grunting and smacking flesh (one recalls Joyce's love letters to Norah as art of the highest calibre -- and again, I am not hypocritical, before you pounce on this, for Joyce's scatology is of more majestic artistic quality than anything you could ever make, you charlatan!); and finally, there should be some sexual freedom involved -- I simply cannot stand the dull sexual norms we are expected to conform to, and pride Joyce on his explicit descriptions of Molly "pegging" Bloom. That means I now sport a constant companion in the form of a dutiful colostomy bag.

But, on to the real meat of this epistle, Mister Pynchon. Your buck teeth: they are equal parts hilarious and repulsive. But there is something about them, Mr. Pynchon, that moves me (sexually) in a way nothing else moves me. I pulled myself off twice while reading about Maxine's being taken from behind by the guy who ripped her leggings, so thanks are due for that. "Woof-woof," barks my mad little wolf. I know how you are about photographs, but please, I entreat you, send me a picture of your penis. (As well as a picture of your wife's penis.) I loved you in "Snatch", the scene in which you drove a deck of cards into the Sun was particularly moving.

That was fricking two sentences you Black person. Pynchon, this long preamble is mostly due to some high anxiety I've got solely because I only wanted to write you to tell you that your books really suck now and I think it would behoove you to take me on as a ghost writer until you finally kick the bucket. ;_; I pooped a gloop and named it Slothcrap. I'm gonna kill myself. NO MORE RUNNING. You fricking homosexual.

I've never read your books, by the way, and I think they're all, without exception, terrible.

idk that he'd use the black person word or the other f word like that

lol no

checkt

sez who?

The fact you didn’t know it’s a IQfy meme to say Le Japanese Insurance Adjuster was coming out in 2018 means you don’t run IQfy, newbie.

>meet him
go on

I bet you either worked at or in the same building as that bookstore.

wOaH lOoK aT yOu

I like Bleeding Edge better than Vineland.

Bleeding Edge was meh and felt like something from Gibson's trilology. But Against the Day is a masterpiece on par with GR.

If I'm mainly interested on Inherent Vice, V. and Against The Day, in what order should I read them? Considering I already read Gravity's Rainbow.

then we'll have to steal the manuscript
i'm putting together a team

your brain is rotted