Which religion would be best for me?

Don't want one that:
>bans oral sex and sex before marriage
>requires money donations
>commands you to cut ties with unbelievers
>bans use of mind-altering substances
Am fine with one that:
>has dietary restrictions
>bans anal sex
>has mandatory fasting periods
>demands regular presence at religious services

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Church of England

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Your tastes are systematically incoherent.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You are building ethics around arbitrary tastes rather than an integrated system of principles. Your priorities are inverted.

        You object to sodomy, because uou recognize it is disordered, you’re fine with other kinds of disordered sexual conduct.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Nothing he said is contradictory. Religion doesn't require you follow a doctrine before joining it, that completely misses the point. Humans aren't perfect, most churches know this. Autistic TradLARPs without jobs don't.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Religion doesn't require you follow a doctrine before joining it
            But that’s exactly what he’s doing?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >without jobs
            Yikes

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >You object to sodomy, because uou recognize it is disordered
          That's not true though. You're just projecting your own views onto me.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What is your reason?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I never said that I "object to sodomy", I would just be fine with joining a religion that bans it because I think it's probably the most overrated sexual act and straight guys often wanna do it for asinine reasons. I'd also be fine with joining a religion that doesn't ban it.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Nta but it sounds like you literally want a religion that makes no demands on you. What is the point of that?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I literally listed that I'd be fine with stuff like dietary restrictions and mandatory fasting. I'm sure I'd be fine with other restrictions, those were just a couple off the top of my head.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Bro you are so lost.
            Religions are not a costume or a pepper for your political views

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Good thing I'm not looking for that then.

            OP is a woman

            Nope.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >You are building ethics around arbitrary tastes
          that’s literally any religion ever

          muslims will talk how being gay is the worst sin in the world but will instantly coom hard if they see lesbians

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Only legalistic ones like Islam, Judaism, etc. Christianity and Buddhism on the other hand are virtue ethical religions, focused on maintaining pure state of mind and action at all times.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don't ask this shithole of a board. Get your hands on a Bible or whatever religious scripture that interests you (you can usually find people giving them away for free if you look hard enough), read through it, find passages you like, and then decide if said religion is right for you.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lol "choose your own religion!!"

    Soon anons will be posting pics like that stupid political orientation grid that tells people what their view on reality is after answering 25 multiple choice questions.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    tbh best going with the Atheism Religion because it's all about God.
    Atheists talk continuously about God, the other Religions do not.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not interested in that, thanks.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP is a woman

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >bans sex before marriage
    no actually serious religions allow for sex before marriage, sorry.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >bans oral sex and sex before marriage
    like you were getting any
    >requires money donations
    >commands you to cut ties with unbelievers
    no actual religions, i.e. non-cults, require such things as mandatory
    >bans use of mind-altering substances
    Islam is off the board then

    Try Christianity, it comes in multiple forms, western and eastern, high church and low church, pluralist and fundamentalist, scholastic and mystical, etc. Most importantly it has built in clauses for handling when you inevitably frick up, whereas most other religions are either so relativist they don't even have a concept of fricking up (buddhism, hinduism) or have such rigid legalistic standards that fricking up requires you to use bullshit cheat codes to 'gotcha' God into not sending you to hell (judaism, islam).

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Christianity is off the table due to the restrictions on premarital sex.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's better to have premarital sex and apologize to God for not living up to his standards than to write God off entirely because of his views on premarital sex, lest you throw your soul into the flaming dumpster of Hell for physical pleasure you can't have there anyway.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I feel very unapologetic about the sex I've had as well as the sex that I'm going to have in the future. I could never offer a sincere apology anyway.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Well if you genuinely can't imagine changing your mind about the validity of something you did in the past then maybe learning new information just isn't for you. Perhaps you're more of a 'hedonically wallow in the fruits of ignorance' type, you do you.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Hedonical wallowing has its place, you know. You'll understand once you get laid.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Hedonical wallowing has its place, you know.
            According to God that place is called the pathway to hell. I'd suggest you look into it but you've already decided not to learn things that might shake up your worldview at all so whatever.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Your God allows hedonistic wallowing if you're married tho.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No, he doesn't.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Your denomination completely bans sex? That's wacky.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >all sex = hedonism
            Do you have a learning disability? Did a mad scientist replace your brain with a light switch that only allows you think in broad sweeping binaries, completely blissfully unaware of nuanced thinking?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Have you never had sex? Let me tell you, it would be pretty hard to take the hedonistic aspect out of it lol.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >it would be pretty hard to take the hedonistic aspect out of it
            Whoever told you religion has to be easy for you was lying.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How do you even do that in principle? Deliberately marry an ugly woman who sucks in bed?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Sex is a gift from God, and it existed in the garden of Eden before sin entered the world. It's meant to be an expression of love by joining with someone to participate in the otherwise miraculous act of creating life, and was corrupted by lust into a mindless drive to satisfy animalistic biological and psychological urges to hump your genetic material into the largest proportion of the next generation possible. The more driven by love and less driven by lust sex is, the less sinful it is. The prerequisites of being between a married heterosexual couple for the purpose of procreation is just part of limiting lust's ability to override love's more valuable influence.

            It's impossible for corrupted humans to have sex without any lust whatsoever, but thankfully God is loving and understanding and very quick to forgive you failing to successfully restrain the body he put you in charge of. St. Peter himself wrote that it's arguably more holy to remain celibate, but still had a wife and children nonetheless.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            This post absolutely reeks of being written by a virgin. It's funny that you get your ideas of what sex is like from volcels lol.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Very feminine post, anon.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What's feminine about it? It's true. Like you aren't even aware of basic shit that any sex haver knows, like the fact that being in love only serves to increase your lust, not decrease it. The actual difference between one night stands and sex with someone you're in love with is that the former is much less pleasurable.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >What's feminine about it?
            Women's biggest fear is not having the collective social approval of other women and so project that fear on anyone doing or thinking anything they wouldn't. When your only response to ancient theology is "You probably only think that because women don't like you" you come across as incredibly womanlike, assuming I give a shit. I'm in a long term, committed and loving relationship so I don't need to change my opinion to whatever makes me more appealing to disposable prostitutes.

            >The actual difference between one night stands and sex with someone you're in love with is that the former is much less pleasurable.
            No way, sex is better when it's with someone you love? Lust motivates sex but leaves it feeling comparatively hollow? Imagine my shock. I wonder if this is totally in-line and non-contradictory with what I just said.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >When your only response to ancient theology is "You probably only think that because women don't like you"
            Not what I said. My point is that you have zero experience with sex so your ideas of what it's like are moronic.
            >No way, sex is better when it's with someone you love? Lust motivates sex but leaves it feeling comparatively hollow?
            You're ignoring what I said. Love INCREASES lust. When you're fricking someone you love, you both orient your lust towards pleasuring your partner and increasing their lust which creates a chain reaction that makes you more and more horny. It has absolutely nothing to do with trying to take the lust out of sex, which is by the way a completely idiotic proposition.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >yeah well MY opinion on sex is blah blah blah
            Bro I don't care, you're not my priest. The armchair psychology you're pulling out of your ass like a magician's novelty scarf to justify doing whatever you already felt like doing is meaningless and irrelevant. Cope harder.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Dude I'm not talking about theories or whatever, I'm telling you what the actual experience of sex is like. You've never had it so you're seething that the reality of sex doesn't match the accounts written by your fellow virgins.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ma'am I'm not interested.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Why do you keep calling me a woman? Is that some sort of troony thing? I have a dick, people with dicks aren't women.
            Anyway, keep coping. Chances are that with your outlook, you'll end up being shit in bed, won't experience what I described anyway and your experiences will be on par with my one night stands.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >you will NEVER be as approved of by women as ME and that proves I'm right, cumming HARD is what's most important and love is just there so you cum EVEN HARDER, I bet you'll never CUM as HARD as I have chud
            >why do you keep calling me a woman?
            lmao

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Dude you literally said that sex is better with someone you love, but you won't do the stuff that actually makes it better in those instances. The obvious result is that your love sex will be equal to my one night stand sex. It's not rocket science.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Cool opinion, discarded.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It's one I've arrived at from personal experience. Enjoy your lifetime of mediocre sex!

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            ye ur wrong but its ur life buddy u do u

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Enjoy your lifetime of mediocre sex!
            I will, thank you, mediocre sex is still amazing and I'm grateful for it. Every new day and every good thing in it is its own gift, and I look forward to the day I get to join with He who gave them to me. For your own sake I hope one day you get to say the same.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How do you know it's amazing if you've never had it? Mediocre sex is mediocre, not amazing lol.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What youre looking for is Judaism

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    White woman tier crystal spirituality

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You want Judaism OP, read the Old Testament, its full of references to drugs and sex (Song of Solomon, Exodus et al).

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Look, grab a mew guide, skim it, peep opinions of alpha mew masters, (being anti-gyatt etc), and then just snag one version of Rizztianity, or Abrahamic (we got heaps of options) just make sure it’s Abrahamic. Cause they're one-rizz bosses. Mono-rizz as a term was coined in 1660 too, before that it was "Edging" vs "The One True Rizz" so you know you’re solid picking the latter

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    but why?

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    make your own brand of quranism

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    From the top of my head
    >Taoism
    >Buddhism
    >Wicca
    >Thelema
    >Hellenism
    >Umbanda
    take your pick

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Unitarian Universalism

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are you looking for a social club or are you trying to find God? Find who God is and what he wants first and then try to mold yourself to his image of who you should be. The end result will be the best possible version of you that you could possibly be

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