Write What's On Your Mind ?

That's not what I described

Well when you travel the country for five years and think literally every single place you see sucks, and when you're young, fit, and rich but think all women suck, the problem is (You). When you think the only option is to live in the middle of nowhere because everyone and everythinf sucks, the problem in (You). Anon could just have a shitty cynical outlook or maybe he's just an unpleasant person and is repulsive. Whatever it is, the common denominator is anon

I'm not offended. I'm just telling you that you're the problem.

You're falling into the trap of think some external situation will make you happy, while in reality unhappiness is an internal problem we carry with us everywhere. You keep looking for greener grass someplace else while in reality the weeds are all in your mind. Conduct some introspection

Where have you been and why did they disappoint

What did I do to you?

Where have you been and why did they disappoint

Most of the big cities and some rural places. The cities were just dirty and filled with crime. Not worth it at all. The rural places were exactly like the cities except more spread out. Everyones just fat and watches TV and drives to wal-mart. I don't see the appeal.

Just speaking the truth. Things have gotten bad.

You're free to leave. I notice you seem to get upset every thread. Just leave if you hate it here.

>suburb
No way in hell would I ever live there.
>nice parts and shitty parts
Its all shitty parts because theres no ability to get around the city so you're just locked inside all day. I wish rural places were more pleasant but we somehow fricked that concept up too

Take your demoralization somewhere else.

Why won't you give actual help? Where am I supposed to live? The women my age are repulsive. Makeup ruined their looks and they're not virgins.

>Why won't you give actual help? Where am I supposed to live?
Not that anon but what are you supposed to say to someone who immediately rebuffs every suggestion? You apparently have the money to live anywhere. Just pick a place.

Suburbs suck dude. Yeah, they’re low crime but they’re miserable places and the properties are overpriced. I’d much rather do country or urban.

Depressing

Try making friends

Aw shucks man that sucks

Oh did I hurt someone feelings? Shucks man that sucks

Don't respond to me like were friends. I don't like you either. You're obnoxious and flaccid.

I'm actually fully erect

Why Florida? Seems very non-lit. I’m in there Northeast right now, a small town albeit.

Mom's basement

No you wouldn’t.

Oh frick no. Dude do not do that to yourself.
Unless you're a shitty person. Hard to tell if I'm talking to likeminded people on IQfy anymore.
>good weather

LOL

South Florida is not a good place to live

I don't understand the dismissal. Whats your problem here

ESL?

There genuinely wasn't an argument at all... I think you're reading hostility where there is none. I'm just sad. Because I want to connect with people. And I feel like you teased a real human connection but then pulled away. And I don't understand why.

What did I even do to you? This is bullying like what the hell. Look at my post. I never insulted you. Why did you just reply "okay" as if I did something wrong? We were just chatting.

Please talk to me.

It’s really all the same down there.

That's not really what I meant and I don't really think being able to draw those kinds of parallels is relevant to my life. I don't care about the news.

>cheaters and money hungry (which isn't really a bad trait by itself
Brown hands typed this post.

don't sell yourself short

For you

That sounds pretty altruistic of you. You make it seem like you, personally, don't have any desires, which we know is false.

Why are you so horny? And will it help if we touch our dicks together? People nowadays call it frotting but back in my day we used to call it tomb raiding

Don't tell me you're one of the reddit normies who desires something other than sex

You're so convinced that you can never be happy that you're not even allowing yourself the grace to try.

You seem to work within an all-or-nothing dichotomy. It's as if you need total victory or nothing at all. Does that resonate with you?

Trauma takes many forms, but in general, traumatic experiences act as a sort of wound in one's mind that can disrupt the continuity of their narrative. Consider a soldier who's experienced acute PTSD, or someone who lost their childhood best friend in a car accident. After having experienced very traumatic circumstances, you sometimes see people who are frozen by that trauma and relive it constantly in their heads, wishing things had gone differently—I wouldn't have gotten into that car accident if I'd gotten to the light five seconds sooner, etc. This can sometimes manifest as "all-or-nothing" thinking, where they wish desperately for that one experience to not have happened, because if it hadn't, their narrative could've continued as it was "meant" to.

Sometimes, when people haven't been able to reconcile their trauma, they might grow embittered and come to apply that kind of all-or-nothing thinking to other areas of their lives.

What do you think it is about your experience that has made it challenging to reconcile your trauma?

Apologies, I didn't mean to put words in your mouth. I shouldn't have used that word without checking to understand how you identify with your experiences.

When you say,
>It needed to happen there and then.
can you tell me more about what was going on in your life at that point?

You shouldn't let your past prevent you from "living" now

Suit yourself

I dont think that contemplating too hard on "what if.." events is downplaying something.

True. Im distancing myself from feeling those emotions again because it wont bring anything good. The feelings of regret, anger, sadness, unfairness regarding being social outcast are futile. Theres no point in digging there as they're simply reactions to that situation.

Those past events (or rather lack of them) are forever sealed in the past, there's no redoing that. No second chance. Even if I manage to drain the emotions, they still generate the never ending amount for as long as I live. It also doesnt help that the lack of it is constantly reminded upon interacting or seeing people. I dont see any productive way of engaging with the past if theres no way of changing it.

I'm currently in a therapy but it doesnt seem like I'm getting anywhere. More like circling around something. It doesnt help that I'm in my 30's and still cannot resolve my problems like somekind of young teen.

That too but mainly I'm obsessed about not feeling making any progress.

I guess it's interesting to talk with someone about it. I've heard that even putting problem into words is itself is a part of resolution.
>step forward
Sure, I dont deny that but it's like I've said that it's just too late for somethings. Even if I get somehow better, there's no redoing of the past, only trying to rebuild a miserable shack out of burned logs.
>towards cases like yours
Does it even get better at some point or it's just coping from my part till eventual death?

>too few double-blind trials."
You can't do a blind trial of psychotherapy. You can however judge by outcomes, and the largest problem for western medicine is that schizophrenics get worst under western medicine. There's a secondary problem which is being obscured by other pharmacological ethical problems like the opiate crisis, which is the Prozac generation is likely to die younger with more debility from anxiety or depression diagnoses than if they'd not received treatment. Occasionally other branches of science or medicine discuss whether it's ethical to continue considering the provably worse outcomes, but nobody's actually going to admit liability for a disease burden larger than cancer. It's like trying to get British American Tobacco to admit they know it causes cancer.

No, you can do double blind trials of psychiatric drugs, and twin studies, but it's literally impossible to do a blind trial of psychotherapies because the patient is an active participant in therapy and it's even more impossible to do a double blind trial because the therapist is aware they're doing therapy.

>Does your therapist operate from a psychodynamic lens?
If I remember correctly he operates under psychodynamic psychoanalysis.
>protective part to lower its defenses and allow your change-seeking part to manifest
That seems to be true and in most areas there's a interchangeable mix between change and protection except one where there's a 100% protection. It's easier for me to see people as split objects either good or bad, otherwise they become too unpredictable.

>You can hire an actor who made some nonsense and compare this to real therapists, of cource.
You can't ethically do that.
>Don't you see a problem with a claim which can't empirical tested
Double blind are necessarily the best way of empirically testing anything. There's plenty of cases where they're not just unethical, but impractical. Saying you can't double blind something doesn't mean it can't be empirically tested, and if it did then we'd have never worked out navigation or time or a wealth of other things which can be directly empirically tested.

>Even if I get somehow better, there's no redoing of the past, only trying to rebuild a miserable shack out of burned logs.
A big part of my experience as a therapist has been the clients' realization that rebuilding a shack, as you say it, can be the first step toward renovating a home. Of course your first iteration isn't going to be a finished midcentury townhouse — it might feel more like a mobile home, and that's okay, because you've been emotionally homeless the past 15 years. You're learning how to self-actualize on an emotional level. Many people never achieve that.

>Does it even get better at some point or it's just coping from my part till eventual death?
My line of work wouldn't exist if it didn't help people, anon. You're just waiting for a switch to click in your head. Keep looking for that switch.

I've read a book about psychotherapies by a author who was a critic. This main thesis was:
"If psychotherapy were a medicine, it would not be approved. The reason is that there are too few double-blind trials."

I see the good for some people who really needs recent help but in generall, I doubt the potential of a psychotherapy to improve the life.

I know, it's the false situation to say something and it's still better to go to a certificated therapiest than a sect or whatever.

Sometimes, it's just help to talk to a good friend.

The only therapy with proveable effect was behavioristic. So, you either get conditionated like a rat or you make something a good friend would do under better circumstances.

Addition:
The suffering of young males is simply not on the radar of your current elites.

T. Morron who can't shoot up

What's been your personal experience with therapy?

>Sometimes, it's just help to talk to a good friend.
The issue with this is that most people are very bad at listening because most people haven't received the necessary training to not interject with their opinions and advice. Most "good friends," even, are just waiting for their turn to speak. Processing emotional shit with a skilled professional is such a unique experience that I think it's worth pursuing for at least one episode in your life, even if you choose not to continue with it. That type of processing has been shown to have positive impacts on behavior, self-resilience, self-concept, and other measures of mental wellness, regardless of what that author might have suggested in his book.

>so it's not a gradual progress but rather switch when everything just clicks?
It's both, but the switch comes first. It's not a switch in the sense of, "I've flicked this lightswitch and now I can see everything, and my life is miraculously better." It's a switch in the sense of, "now I understand that I've been comparing myself to what I could've been had I avoided [X negative experience], and that kind of comparing has only brought me negative outcomes, but I find that life is worth living even if I can't approximate a perfect existence."

The fact that you're asking this is indicative of change talk, which I think is a positive sign for you.

> What's been your personal experience with therapy?

I never was in treatment. Besides phyically.

> That type of processing has been shown to have positive impacts on behavior, self-resilience, self-concept, and other measures of mental wellness, regardless of what that author might have suggested in his book.

He or she addressed it.
But, as I said, he or she comes from a skeptical viewpoint. So, the book argued that most of the bettering in the situation of the patients are the effect of simply regress to the mean.
The therapy itself could be made by an actor and complitly nonsensical. And there could be some positive change found.

Learn to life with the mental problem, he warned, could just be learn how to describe it better in a clinical terminaly. What doesn't mean that the suffering will be any better.

The author highliegted the so called "worried well". They take recources from the healthcare system from people who need it more, in this case, places in therapy.

Unfortunately, the book was never published in English.

Afraid of death as in the process of death. If I could cease to be with the press of a button, I could do it.

Yeah I agree. I think VAD and assisted suicide are also horrendously evil but on MY specific case I personally know that it's good and beneficial.
I have a problem with it because there are so many people that will die that should have been helped and shown love, support, and a future worth living for. In my specific case, I nothing would make me happy and I have no future.

Guns have existed for hundreds of years, dude.

are you talking about talking irl? meetup then.

I don't have any friends IRL or online. I exclusively use IQfy for all forms of communication with the outside world. I rarely even use youtube, and I don't have a google account.

But no I mean talking in chat. I would be way to anxious to talk IRL, over the phone, or with voice.

What? No I don't want weird people either, just normal stuff like talking about books or anime. I guess I'm so shy and anxious I seem like a psycho

Those damn Russians are always spamming 'cyka blyat rush b" in them