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Is suicide the endgame of morality?
>mistaking your bias for the visual
I have no idea what you mean. My argument is an extension of a vegan argument in that we are responsible for the suffering and death of not just what we eat but just living day to day lives (treading on snails and slugs and bugs)
You're mistaking you being interested in something, and it being important to you, with it being the most important thing overall. It's like people who cannot understand why their crush is not considered objectively beautiful.
I’m not interested in suicide though. I just play around with the thought that it’s selfish in choosing to be alive especially knowing you cause so much suffering towards human animals and non human animals just in your day to day life. I highly doubt I will commit suicide over this as you have to be highly motivated to do so and for me it just plays on my mind whilst doing what I can at the same time.
You seem to think it's the endgame of morality because you like to think about it
No I don’t. I don’t know why you’re making so many presumptions. Death truly terrifies me, I don’t want to sink into oblivion forever and never see my friends and family ever again.
He is making an argument, moron. Either answer him with a coherent, logical argument or stop trivializing his point by psycholozing him. What kind of broken, female-brain is this?
I'm not psychoanalysizing him. I'm saying his argument amounts to his feels and shower thoughts being apex morality, and I think that is so highly dubious a proposition that it requires more than anon's feelings as proof. I don't know why you think anon's feels on any matter would be the source from which some apex of objective morality was going to arise. Do you not know where you are lol
My feels on Yu-Gi-Oh are the only valid morality and I will fight you in the shadow games to prove it
>My argument is an extension of a vegan argument in that we are responsible for the suffering and death of not just what we eat but just living day to day lives (treading on snails and slugs and bugs)
So a rejection of base reality because its too "real" for your brain to process?
Honestly man who cares about bugs. There are trillions of the little frickers and they're really only dimly aware of the world. I have more sympathy for most plants tbh
How do you know that though? How do you know they don’t feel pain subjectively as much as we do? I don’t think anyone knows but I try to avoid killing them just in case as much as I can.
I don't "know," but call it an informed guess. Their nervous systems are not that advanced. Their sensory organs, while in some ways more advanced than ours, do not lend themselves to a complex subjective experience
>Is suicide the endgame of morality?
>No I don’t.
So far the only potential reason you've alluded to for it being the endgame of morality is "I think about it". I don't know what other reasoning you're providing that doesn't boil down to
>It's important to me, therefore endgame of morality
I’m saying it plays on my conscience when I step on a snail by mistake for example. I then think what is the solution to this? Well you could stare at the ground you’re walking on wherever you go to make sure you don’t kill anything. But what about crossing the road? And what about all the countless lives killed and removed from their natural habitat to create the home you live in. So I start to think it’s inevitable that your going to cause some death and suffering by being alive no matter what you do is being the only beings who can conceive of this, is our responsibility to end our own lives. Or at least not have children who are going to do the same. Im probably not going to end my life over this but I can’t help but think Im being selfish because of this. I rarely think about it and just get on with my life.
I don't see how that makes it important to anyone but you, since you're telling me about experiences only you could have had, because they're your thoughts. In case you need a heads up, other people have their own thoughts. I don't know why you think yours especially close to the endgame of any morality. Even within the broader concepts you're raising, other people have thought longer and deeper about those things than you and not arrived at suicide as in any way related to snails.
Again, how is that endgame morality? How is that not just you telling us shit you think about?
I’m not saying I’m definitely right but you’ve given me no argument whatsoever in making me think I’m wrong.
The other people having thoughts that aren't yours thing obviously hasn't sunk in, so I'll reiterate it as a couple billion arguments why your thoughts are unlikely to be the One True Morality. In fact, while we're at it, some of those other people probably think you're a c**t, so why not believe them about the state of your morality?
>How is that not just you telling us shit you think about?
It’s a wwoym thread, silly
>I’m saying it plays on my conscience when I step on a snail by mistake for example
But why? Do you eat meat?
Maybe he doesn't want the crows to get any freebies. I don't know why that would be the case though. Who hates crows? They're based.
No I became vegan three years ago after hearing the arguments and watching videos of animals being tortured in factory farms.
>thinks sheep will survive in the wild
They shouldn't be in factory farms, but most farm animals are so far removed from their wild ancestors their best life is being raised well in close contact with humans.
You’re probably right. That’s why animal sanctuaries exist.
To dag, shear, and turn sheep full time for no return? Lel that's some let them eat cake tier thinking
All you need to do is accept that death is an essential feature of life and nothing nor no one can ever change that
It's unironically the great filter of humanity along with schizophrenia
>schizophrenia
allright expand on this: how is schizophrenia a filter? because as we ll know schizophrenia (and high functioning autism) are the next stage of human evolution.
Because you either go schizo or have a nice day
the great filter of humanity
https://vimeo.com/124736839
https://archive.4plebs.org/x/thread/13969858/#13971350
https://archive.org/details/co-creative-evolution-final
https://pastebin.com/4s91qRn6
https://vimeo.com/129609470
https://sharegpt.com/c/txUfYs7
https://ytmnd.com/users/anono/sites
https://npirl.blogspot.com/2008/11/next-big-thing-in-virtual-worlds-that.html
https://vimeo.com/specalblend
https://sharegpt.com/c/txUfYs7
Used to like him. Now I can’t stand him
Virus 23 is like The Game. I'm only ever reminded of it once every couple years by someone who thinks it's clever.
I’m so fricking stupid and totally incapable. So many seem proud of knowing nothing and I wish I could get in that headspace. The few people I know who read regularly are obese misanthropes who only crack a book if they can project themselves onto the author. I do nothing but still don’t have anywhere enough time to read what I’m interested in. Even if I can, it seems like a waste of time. I’ll never create anything of value. Being content walking in circles listening to music and podcasts must be nice. I just want to be happy in loneliness. The alternative wouldn’t lead to anything good. Thanks for reading my diary!
>The few people I know who read regularly are obese
>knows few people who read
>knows obese people
gross
I want to lick female feet
My ass is a swamp
Lots on my mind. Made the dean’s list and my parents are super proud of me but I don’t care at all because my major is useless. Been thinking about texting a girl who interests me because she is well-mannered and intelligent but I’m hesitant because she’s not especially attractive. Nowhere near unattractive, just bland. I’m more interested in texting another girl who lives in a totally different country and has no relation to me at all just because her beauty is mesmerizing. But I know this mindset is wrong and silly. Lust and idealism is overpowering me lately because my life is so unremarkable and uncertain
Man I wish I could be 20 again
21
Always choose the one that truly loves you, brutes and animals cannot love the way an intellectual human being can. Being around an unintelligent human is hell.
https://pastebin.com/AzF9W2Ku
I would only recommend this if you're willing to go the extra mile for a relationship and fricking giving up on joining the orgy porgy.
Imagine all the dumb bawds out there you can do unspeakable things to, women who really are very little more than precious flesh and wet holes, like unfeeling sex dolls whose only purpose in life is serving as cum receptacles.
And you're going with a sweet, mid girl who is NEVER going to be half as pretty, who you're going to share your life with and you'll find out the great highs and awful lows of sharing your life with an actual human being
Nothing is perfect in this godless fricking universe
about done with this cold I hope. receiving a Laibach shirt in the mail on Saturday.
I finally made peace with me being a wizard. It was never meant to be for me and nothing phases me anymore.
Everytine I go online to find people or group in my area to meet with, all I ever find is prostitutes.
I think the UK government might be trying to make itself immune to satire by being so hilariously bizarrely comically terrible that you can't make credible premises for satire out of it www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-gyZPWWJ7M
the current government wasnt even elected by the people of the uk. They also know they are going to get obliterated by labour in the next election
That's not going to make anything better, but the UK system has always been weird. I mean, Truss has an honours list. I don't know how you write a joke funnier than that but I don't know anyone who finds it bizarre enough to laugh at now either.
I don't think you have to imagine being so removed from the work force you can't value that work
Even deafblind people can have language (tactile signing).
At some point in my life I convinced myself that all my hobbies were cringe and that video games/office jobs were the way to go. Now I'm 27 with a compsci degree that I hate using, unable to turn anything I've enjoyed into a career out of a vague fear of seeming "gay" or "uncool". Is this the kind of autism that I can recover from?
>vague fear of seeming "gay" or "uncool".
You should live fiercely in your truth, diva
Man if you're worried about being uncool, why did you gravitate to video games and compsci?
Not him but internet hits different when you're a zoomer. Anon probably never would have been the only one with a router and he probably can't remember TVs with scart leads. He'd barely remember iPods coming out
I used to be a huge space nerd and creative as a kid, but my time in high school coincided with when meme culture and Youtube started getting super popular, so a lot of the culture was based around playing FPS games all the time and Call of Duty trickshot/nuke videos. CompSci ended up happening because it's a tech field and just what I figured I should do
My boyfriend makes cod trickshot videos. This was never a thing when I was growing up. He was watching his videos today and saying how it's all dying and not as popular anymore. Watching someone younger go through what I've already experienced in a similar manner is bittersweet. Of course I know he will find new things in life to be vested in, however I can't lie and say that they might ever be as enjoyable as those first few passions a person has when young. I myself remember my own narrow hobbies at that age and the joy they brought me despite their lack of practical use. I don't know if I regret arguably wasting my time on these things or if it can be excused with, if I enjoyed them and they left me with good memories, is it a waste? Is the goal of life not good memories before dying?
people who major in cs but don't like programming are stupid as hell. they always end up working some cheesy low pay shit like help desk or try to transition to being some useless manager. if you don't like coding, go be an accountant or something.
Viruses can communicate with each other (telling other viruses to delay infection). They're not even considered as being alive.
Is it just me or is IQfy getting... better?
At least a little. I've always said that boards go through cycles. They get really good, then they go into the shitter and they're terrible, then there's a leveling period, then the quality starts to tick up again, rinse and repeat.
It seems like IQfy was really bad for the last two years or so, but lately I think the board's quality has increased. You're seeing more threads about actual books again, as opposed to just posting a philosopher or a current event to have a /misc/-tier discussion. Also I've seen a lot more "I just read a book for the first time in years" threads, which is always heartening.
I wonder if the influx of Zoomers we got over the last few years have finally started to settle in to how IQfy works. We got a big push and it took time for the dilettantes to leave and the newbies to absorb the flow of the board. Maybe we are starting to reach that point, finally.
hell no IQfy is worse than ever. i started posting on other boards more than IQfy cuz the people that post here are fricking dumb.
It's not just dumb, a lot of them don't like books and don't see why that's an issue for a hobby board.
I'm writing a book of poetry for children. How is this poem? I was inspired by pic-related.
In da hood, shwe be twewkin',
Wid hew cuwves, awe the boyz wewkin',
A pwoud sista, no shame in sight,
Against da man, shwe fights hew fight.
Thick and juicy, hew beauty's bewd,
Systemic wacism, won't keep hew hewd,
Cis pwiwiwege, white mawes, beware,
Shwe's bweakin' down walls, with stywe and fwawe.
They fat shame hew, say "You shouwd be thin,"
But hew stwength is hew pwoud ebony skin,
Hew twewk, a dance, a way to defy,
Da hate, da pain, won't make hew cwy.
In hew cuwves, shwe's found a voice,
A cewebwation of self, hew own choice,
No mowe oppwession, she's bweakin' fwee,
A twewkin' queen, as bwave as can be.
Da pwoof's in hew jiggle, a symphony of gwace,
An anthem fow aww, no mattew da wace,
A stowy of stwuggwe, of powew and might,
A dancin' wevowution, deep into da night.
UwU, shwe's pwoud, shwe's stwong,
Hew twewk tells a tale, a bwack woman's song,
In hew fight, shwe stands, with gweat dignity,
A wesson fow us, in wove and unity.
Black people would never actually talk this way lol, and I'm not even trying to stand up for them really, it's just that your post is cringe because it's so off the mark
>shwe
>hew
>twewkin
Fricking stupid man.
Might be a bit of a stupid question, but are e-readers actually any good? Never bothered to look into them
They're simple and cheap. Try one and find out.
Thomas Bernhard has really changed my life for the better.
Bellydancing and near-oriental dancing in general made me get a clue on feminine grace. They're so gorgeous, bros.
You could die right this second, and the world would go on spinning.
That's the most freeing part about life if you ask me
That's the worst part for me. After I was born all birthing should have been cancelled; and likewise, everyone else should die before me.
Whatever your beliefs might be, it's a miracle that we even exist in the first place. I'd rather use the framing of death as a motivation for personal growth than use it to worry about nature running its inevitable course
Death terrifies me, the guarantee of non-existence stultifying. The dread, along with my poor health, leaves me feeling that it is imminent.
I started a thread here a while back looking for books on the subject, about dealing with impending death. I would love a bustling thread like that. Whether fictional or philosophical non-fiction or practical, I'd love to find some comfort/knowledge in that realm.
I actually agree. It's a pretty interesting subject because there's so many different ways of thinking about it and they're all equally valid. It's like a cool little microcosm of humanity in and of itself
Consolation of Philosophy
I'm probs going to die young but death doesn't really terrify me in the way you seem to be saying it does for you. Are you bedbound or something? When I worked out I was going to die young I was like, that's a hell of a lot of checks I'm not going to have to cash.
>the guarantee of non-existence stultifying
There's no guarantee of that though. Hell, there's just as much possibility that "you" will be reborn into another body in the "blink of an eye" or the universe will end, begin again, and be reborn into the "same" body to live the "same" life. Who can say how all this shit works? And with time being as weird as it is, it's wild to not at least entertain the possibility of something like what I've written here.
>to those in whom the will has turned and has denied itself, this our world, which is so real, with all its suns and milky-ways—is nothing
I just got a call from my mom 15 minutes ago. She told me my brother is dead. It really is random and sudden.
>14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
>15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
This was from my Bible reading group today. I think God is sending me a message.
Jesus. How old was he? My condolences, and I hope you settle in well to the new world without him. We still need you to stick around for a while for some reason or another. Keep going and God bless.
He was 26. Honestly, I've been anticipating this for a very long time. Ten years ago he would run away from home and disappear for weeks at a time. A social worker told us then that we should prepare ourselves for news of his death. The same thing has been ongoing for the past decade. I wasnt at all surprised to hear it. When my mom called me she said something happened anand the very first question I asked is if he's dead. I've even had conversations with my family where we all agreed that our lives would be easier if he did die. It's just a very funny timing because I recently had this spiritual revival. I feel like I've had a second baptism almost. But unlike before where all the preaching I heard was about love and life, this past month has all been dire warning about transgressing God. I read this verse for the first time two days ago
>16 If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that.
When I read the term "sin unto death" my immediate thought was my brother. He was a very heinous person. Anyway, I'm in this weird stage where I'm definitely emotionally impacted but I also feel very stable all things considered. It's weird to be anticipating someone's death for a whole decade only for it to finally happen.
I understand, I have a brother who is also very heinous in nature but has always had a soft spot for me (the youngest). He’s been a heroin addict for years, fought in a very especially nasty and dangerous deployment, and has had multiple overdoses and failed suicide attempts. Its a miracle he is still alive and I think he knows that and it only adds on to his immense depression. He is not a good person, but not necessarily evil either. He just has some fricking real demons in him. And it makes things weird because he was bad to my other brother but I love them both so im torn. All that is just to say, I can certainly imagine the mixed feelings and life really does have a weird shakespearean irony to it. In the end all sort of makes sense. My good friend who was doing well but had a very troubled past dies last year after relapse and only in retrospect could I understand how it made sense. It’s too ibvious for the person whom you expect, to die. Until it happens. Its a long road and it usually ends badly. I wish I could give some advise other than, “it is what it is”. Im glad you seem like a strong person.
do you ever think people are total frickups just to relieve the tedium of being mediocre? like if you're a wacko junkie who could die any minute, you're the center of attention and there's always something exciting happening and if you manage to not die or get arrested everyone is proud of you, but if you cleaned up your act and got a job in an office for median income no one would give a shit and you'd be another disappointing mediocrity.
My brother absolutely was an attention prostitute
Absolutely this is true. But I also dont think anyone decides to go this route from the beginning. They struggle to be happy for a long time and when at a certain point they feel pinned against a way they swallow this pill because theyve let themselves down so many times already they have lost trust in themselves and its the only way to satisfy some ounce of their vanity.
Thats at least my opinion after growing up around nothing but addiction and ten years of being a functioning alcoholic myself. There is a certain level of acceptance, but it is always purchased after the fall.
Is this supposed to be scary? Life is but a blink of the eye of consciousness...only the delusional suffer from main character syndrome.
And that's a very good thing. The world is so much more than just one of our pathetic lives, thank God.
Is SEO or content writing a IQfy subject?
No, SEO and content writing pajeets ruined search engines and they flooded google with shitty clickbait and paid blogs. Google eventually turned to shit and now searches return unrelated garbage, plus you're limited to 10-20 pages of results rather than thousands of pages like the past. There's no incentive to host or own a website with original content now, you're competing against mega-corporations and SEO brainlets who sold us out
It is the exact opposite of IQfy
Sounds like it causes human misery so I'm ruling it IQfy
Good goy
Those too. And heroin, prostitutes, third world war torn countries and the deaths of your children should also make the bestsellers list, especially if you add a bit with a dog, or a rape, or both (shout-out to the other kind of Barbie WWII fans)
Oh we also have to let in slam poetry, regardless of quality.
There’s a new girl at my work whose kind of hard not to state at. She’s just gorgeous.
I might start writing a little. I want to. I don't want anyone to see it. I want to be famous. I am delusional. I'll burn it. I'll hide some for my sister to find and publish posthumously.
I want to thank the anons who replied and aided me, in this thread
I'm sorry that I didn't reply to all.
everything is so cracked
Are shitty fathers worth keeping relationships with? I want my kids to know their grandfather…
Generally no, but what defines shitty?
Not abusive, but selfish, hubristic, and/or distant. For example, I didn’t see my father for over a decade. I do now, but it’s almost entirely my own initiative and not his.
In that case id say no. My father is all of that shit but he calls on birthdays and gives love, that type of shit to show he actively cares. Your kids will have enough people fricking with their hearts, not worth having some charming frick around only to make them feel forgettable. And trust me if he wants in their lives that bad he’ll fight for it. If he doesnt, WHEN he doesnt, you’ll know you made the right move.
Idk. I think being a good father is more than just calling on birthdays.
You ever feel like you can’t do what you want in life because you’re ugly or because you have a bad personality?
no, i know that im beautiful and that people love me. however, i do believe that I am by nature evil and incorrigibly so.
i have the weirdest cold it's like i'm mad tired and my nose is a little stuffy when i wake up and sometimes i get chills even though it's 85 out and my heart is beating all weird. i wonder if it's a new coof strain.
I'll get my life together tomorrow
I solved Buddhism
I found a word in an old dictionary whose definition includes the word which it was trying to define in the first place. I'm pretty sure you can't do that.
I hope vampires are real. I want to have one bite me to see how it feels.
Okay IQfy this is sort of an intersection of /tg/ and IQfy, but should I buy TTRPG hardcover books or should I just be happy with PDFs? I currently have a single shelf full of books and I was planning to get rid of some of the books as I read them to clear space to start putting board games on it, but I'm becoming kinda attached to the idea of owning hardbacked books. What do you guys think? Waste of money and space or worth it?
I like having the physical rulebooks for games I play frequently, I find them easier to consult quickly at the table. But it doesn't feel worth it unless I'm going to use it a lot.
Well I'm one of those weirdos that only plays TTRPGs solo considering that I have a lot of problems with organized play to the point I'm "that guy" and I'm kicked out for being disruptive. Not to mention that I kinda prefer to be alone anyway. So maybe I should just be happy with the PDFs and save my money. I could always just print out parts of the book that I need to reference a lot. I have a tablet I could slap them onto as well.
ayyy, I have ad&d books as well, though I'm more buying these books for the bookcraft and the aesthetics of the hardcovers. My reading list is so fricking long I doubt I will ever get through it in my lifetime. Maybe I should just go through it and cull some of the books/pdfs I have in there. I have a bunch of entertainment books I could slash so I could be reading skill and self-improvement books instead.
Life is a cruel Mistress, so much to learn, experience, and explore but not enough time due to the logistics of being alive and our limited lifespans.
sometimes i'm tempted to buy a 2nd ad&d players handbook on ebay or sth for a nostalgia trip. i used to love those when i was a kid. i had all that shit memorized. too bad it wasn't a math textbook instead, i'd probably have a phd instead of being a pleb.
When I was younger I accidentally lost the first Foundation book by Issac Asimov that my dad owned (It was a beat up first edition copy, shitty mass trade paperback as well.). I've kinda always have felt bad about it since then and I wanted to buy him a nice hardbacked set of the whole Foundation series for me, only problem is that for some reason I can't find any. Where would I go to find Hardback versions of books?
How nice are we talking? There's this:
https://www.foliosociety.com/usa/the-foundation-trilogy.html
But also there are some hardcover copies of the 1955 single volume edition on Amazon for like $20. No guarantee what condition they'll be in though.
Actually damn just get the older one, the illustrations in that Folio Society edition are fukken ugly
Yeah I'm kind of shocked they looked at that art and said "yeah, looks good" I think it would have been better if they looked at some old 50's Art Deco artwork and taken inspiration from that rather than comic book style.
>Introduced by Paul Krugman
tha fug? is foundation some kind of keynsian sci-fi that promotes massive national debts or something?
Kinda, yeah. Foundation is basically like Heinlein's Starship Troopers but on steroids. If you like political science and economics, you'll like Foundation.
Hari Seldon sucked penis by the quintillion
it's just facts
There's nothing else I can tell you anon
other than you first apartment
is where I deposit 90% of my semen
the other 10 being
your sister's rectum
what a warm cavern
that is unlike your bum
which we all know is full of doody
just like your fist,,
sorry to body you
I'm just the groundskeeper
for all bawds's sons and brothers
but hey at least you got a mother
thank you anon, I'll print this out and put it on my fridge.
thank you for the thanks
had we met in person we would embrace in brotherly goodwill
i'm caught between a limitless vista of opportunity and utter incapacity to seize said opportunities. It should hardly be noted that many souls who find themselves drawn to a site such as IQfy share many attributes and afflictions in common and, as with any community online or off, this is the commonality'd glue that binds us faceless nameless speakers. My grandfather was a billionaire, yet my parents, who have told me my entire life that money would never be a worry, have only recently established an arbitrary limit to what I will be able to receive until they are "dead." Up shit's creek without a paddle, I've just yesterday stopped resting on my laurels and accepted the path I must take should I want to reach the peak before me. I could obfuscate a thousand things to you, others, and myself, but the ultimate reality is that at nearly thirty, my fate rests nearly solely in my hands and that no god will come to save me except through myself. It's funny, for the past year or so I've essentially depended on winning the literal lottery in order to extract myself from my parents' tethered financial grip around my throat. Now that I know I have to earn a substantive salary/income in order to escape their thrall, I'm completely overwhelmed by the sudden responsibility and weight of something I never thought I had to worry about my first several decades of life. Obviously this is beyond a first world problem, however psychologically it has led me towards nothing by desire for self-demolition and complete erasure. Suicide, for the last several years, has been a pet fantasy—one that I feed and tend to to, in a sick Munchausens-by-proxy sense, make myself feel better. Such is the level of uncontrol that I consider ending my own life. Jesus christ, even talking about this, and especially how I'm talking about it, makes me absolutely wretch with agony and judgyness. To be given so much and yet feel you've been given nothing at all feels like the fool's errand to end all fools' errands. My parents clearly waiting in the wings for my grandfather to die, sometimes I find myself wishing they too will tie so I can quote-unquote live my own life. When I feel I should be writing in my own journal, I'm on fricking IQfy airing out my own dirty laundry to strangers because alone with others is still better than alone period. How pathetic, the thought ricochets inside my skull. And yet, even mired in infinite regret and self-discrimination, I feel an odd sense of hope that I can't by any means justify rationally. It's like I want to do nothing but die yet there's something I'm still supposed to do while I'm alive here in this shit-stained maelstrom of a world. This is to say: even though I couldn't be more pessimistic regarding existence's flavor-text, I am still indeed an optimist. At least for myself, anyway. I hope you all feel the same way too.
too long not readin it
despite being filled with errors, it's still pretty tight my man
I wish I could just get the courage to kill myself already
I've put a gun (9mm, .380, 12-gauge, etc.) to my head multiple times—while sober, enraged, plastered drunk, completely defeated—and not once have I pulled the trigger. L'appel du vide is powerful, even tantalizing, and no matter how seductive the fantasy, never forget that it's nothing but a pipe-dream. (No gun pun intended.) Your wish isn't one of suicide, but of rebirth. You want to kill *a part of yourself*. You don't want to kill your entire self. It's simply that the portion of yourself that experiences the brunt of your life is set in such suffering that you've led yourself to belief the solution is to eliminate the entirety of the phenomenological experience, rather than the aspect of yourself fueling the downward spiral of self-hatred and regret. Should you learn how to identify the part of you that is holding the rest back, you will look back at your former feelings as absolutely insane impulses borne out of nothing but a complete inability to see the larger picture. The truth is the real courage isn't in pulling the trigger, but actually attempting to live life on its, and your own, terms. Self-immolation is the pussy's route out.
I've wienered an empty gun, pointed it at my head, and pulled the trigger. Not sure why. I checked three tiems to make sure it was empty. I was drunk at the time but it felt good to do
I know what you mean, I've done the same. The feeling is slightly heightened when you take a fully wienered and loaded gun to the head and squeeze the trigger ever so slightly, but ultimately I've found it's entirely empty. Plenty of people kill themselves every year, even more attempt it; to do so is nothing special, nor worth boasting about in any way. The real boast is in superseding the feeling, as absolutely consuming as it is, and escaping the vortex of self-extinguishment. As gay as it sounds, it's the people that decide to not kill themselves even when they have the chance that get remembered more than those who do, often prematurely. Suicide makes you nothing more than a statistic. Living gives you the chance to 10x your obituary length (you know, unless you're Kurt Cobain or Sylvia Plath, etc.)
>attempting to live life on its, and your own, terms.
Nta but I dont know how.
My life is an exercise in futility. DIrectionless without pivot but lacking the daring to go any single one way on my own. I secretly desire to be handheld like the overgrown child that I am.
There will be some more brief, pointless tantrums like this one spilled out in easy text,. but I will never have the energy to put my resentment towards anything constructive or destructive. I am too mediocre to ever build or destroy anything. Too truly destroy a man can only secretly dream about that kind of thing. .. I'm like an animal transfixed and stunned by a bright light who fails to see five feet ahead what's coming. I can barely keep ahead of life before it passes, it hit me so fast, and I'm just stuck here in the tracks still just trying to figure out what even happened. I missed the train. Where the frick did I go? Ive lost track of where I have or haven't been a long time ago.
My resume has a few prestigious entries in it: line cook, security, barista, some more I forget. Maybe someday I'll graduate to senior pleb
Failure in terms of academic or career success would be tolerable if I made up for it with an interesting personality or an adventurous spirit. Instead I'm timid, anxious, usually lacking in humor, and according to one person I talked to "the world's worst conversationalist".
I always seek the quickest end to conversation so I can return to safety, here where there is no possibility of any actually dangerous response.
By my sensitivity, my fear of any reprisal or negative response, I'm led to a total impassivity to accept whatever another says or does to me in real life.
I am full of regret for the youth I have already lost. Throughout my youth and still at 23 I've never been easy going, never been able to have fun with others. I always feel set a part, everywhere I go I've never clicked with anyone. When others take an interest in me, sometimes I even become paranoid and suspicious.
Like my frequency is set to an unknown number and I can't tune into the same broadcast everyone else is at. And I am afraid they all can tell so what's even the point.
Little things that are hard to describe or capture in text out me as outside. Like others my age naturally seem to speak in this meme-zoomer speech/slang. While I keep up with memes I just can't naturally mimic it. I just speak in this wholly strange way. I text strangely too, give more words than normal. Just little things all of which signal to others that this one is off frequency. I don't want to be off frequency.. I can't share in the common. I'm outside. I'm tired of being in my box outside. I'd like to be chained to something
On the way down I've met kindred souls, only the mark of similarity is seen in the total lack of kindred-ness in their mannerisms. They have that detached but vaguely panicked look in their eyes like they're trying to convince me they are a real human too, but I can see through that theirs like my own aren't real.
https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2023/08/should-liberal-democracies-use-taboos/674988/
What a trash article, the Atlantic really is shit. I don't even like BAP but The Atlantic basically just assumes liberalism is good and unquestionable, and this person is dangerous and should be silenced all without argument.
And without seeing the irony in arguing for liberalism an ideology that values expansive free expression, while insisting on a vaguely defined notion that taboo illiberal views must be silenced.
The thing about these articles I quickly lose track of what liberalism even means. It takes on a fantastical, delusionary quality where every good aspect of America is ascribed to liberalism. As in the author's utterly delusional account of America's WW2 involvement where he casts the U.S as simple heroes fighting for freedom against the evil Jap fascists.
It's like The Atlantic is stuck 50 years in the past when that kind of propaganda that the U.S was fighting for freedom still had some weight. Who are they even selling this to, who buys this hogwash anymore?
>The thing about these articles I quickly lose track of what liberalism even means
The dictatorship of the merchant class.
there is a strong possibility i shall have to disown my family.
cont.
which is not something i had ever considered before the fact. i had never understood why, in the past, it was not uncommon. it seemed inhuman and archaic. perhaps it was this ignorance that left me unprepared and hopeless for so long. i hope it's not the case but it's not looking good.
Do what you need to do. I did much the same thing. If they're bad peopel, just move on. You owe them nothing for a mere blood connection
>If they're bad peopel, just move on.
why do the amish disown people who do not live by their own standards of behavior and righteousness? not because those so disowned are "bad people", but exactly for the reason stated. the type of society they want to live in is incompatible with certain behaviors and principles or the lack thereof.
The amish believe that to be outside of their principles is to be bad. Thats what principles are. A declaration of good and bad.
fair enough, and so then in that sense, yes, they are bad. not categorically awful by any means, but if that is our definition of "bad" then we are indeed underrating the amount of evil in the world.
On the contrary, we are highlighting just how much bad is really there, given how much the world will fall outside of any given principle
that's what i said. read it again.
>that's what i said. read it again.
i suppose with an emphasis on *that*, in the second sentence. it would be easier if IQfy adopted cutting edge features like italics.
Not him but there's no way to parse
As not contrary to
It's an if-then statement where one outcome is underrating the amount of evil and the other is highlighting it. They are contrary statements like
said. Not even with any special emphasis on "that" can you parse it differently.
>Not him but there's no way to parse
oh for fricks sake...
>fair enough, and so then in that sense, yes, they are bad. not categorically awful by any means, but if ~~~THAT~~~ is our definition of "bad" then we are indeed underrating the amount of evil in the world.
"THAT". you italicize the "THAT". then it reads just fine.
It is still contrary to the statement that it highlights _just_how_much_bad
They are contrary statements on the quality of the badness with one anon offering
>they are bad. not categorically awful by any means,
While the other is saying that the categorization by principles highlights even more bad things because of the extent which things fall outside the principle. Even with italics and in bold, still they are contrary statements, one denying categorical badness is all that bad or categorical (italicize that if you like), and the other saying it is highlighting even more bad stuff by being a categorical set of principles outside which all is bad.
>categorically awful
the emphasis on "that" communicates that it references converse possibility, which is only considering something to be bad if it is categorically awful. there are no italics on IQfy but you can take for granted that i understand sentential logic.
>I'm not agreeing with either of you, because I've seen no evidence you can read your own or other's words which basic comprehension.
i know...
>it references converse possibility,
Yes, though one could argue easily that if is doing a lot more heavy lifting for possibility. And the outcomes of the if-then propositions involves are still contrary.
>i know...
>Ultimately you're not disagreeing
Doesn't know
Involved*
to rate someone as "bad" only if they are "categorically awful" is to establish a very narrow and practically unsatisfiable definition of "bad", though i'm sure some of you pricks are in the running. you don't have to be stalin, hitler, ted bundy, etc. to be an insufferable, lumpen, two faced traitor.
Yes, that categorisation of bad you have just given is contrary to one which states everything which is not in direct keeping with the principles is evil. Summarizing your argument doesn't erase the other party's contrary one.
>Yes, that categorisation of bad you have just given is contrary to one which states everything which is not in direct keeping with the principles is evil. Summarizing your argument doesn't erase the other party's contrary one.
his argument was not contrary to mine. by observing that an overly narrow definition of "bad" does not properly reflect all the forms evil can take, we must consider "bad" in broader terms, which is roughly congruent to his point, and not contrary to it.
>his argument was not contrary to mine. by observing that an overly narrow definition of "bad" does not properly reflect all the forms evil can take, we must consider "bad" in broader terms, which is roughly congruent to his point, and not contrary to it.
cont.
that is, unless he were assuming the hypothesis of my brief reductio ad absurdum, which would have been a stupid and patronizing reply, so i presumed he was talking about my post in whole.
>redditor tries to argue black is white
dude, if you can't see there's an opposing argument, wtf were you arguing? it's clear to everyone one of you thought it was an underestimation of evil and the other thought it was a giant highlighter over evil, and that difference is how you were having an argument at all. why are you spamming up the thread with nonsense?
i've got a few from blackwell's (uk) but it's worth shopping around and tracking abe books and ebay because sometimes they have cheaper editions. blackwell's has someone to complain to more easily though and they had free shipping for all the ones i got when abe books sometimes had shipping worth more than the book or editions only starting at a few thousand
When you said "we are underrating" I thought it was in reply to my statement as if to say I were trivializing good and bad as terms. Unfortunately the syntax got lost in the matrix there.
It's clearly underrating the amount of evil in world.
>if that is our definition of "bad" then we are indeed underrating the amount of evil in the world.
It's not anything about trivialising good and bad but it is contrary to the statement
>we are highlighting just how much bad is really there
It doesn't really matter. Communication can have ambiguities. Thats why we follow up. Ultimately you're not disagreeing with my intention so the misunderstanding doesnt matter.
I'm not agreeing with either of you, because I've seen no evidence you can read your own or other's words which basic comprehension.
>which basic comprehension
With^
Pseud
I think they just want to play pretend they're having a deep and meaningful conversation about religious laws, m8, not actually have a conversation on religious jurisprudence with any real weight. They're not going to come to your law school to improve the curve, don't worry, man.
cont.
all the same, it is upsetting. we were close. but if i don't resolve to do so if it turns out to be necessary, then i can't hope to ever end up where i belong.
Same anon here. Regardless of misunderstanding, if you cant live a good life with them, then move on. We have an inborn preference for our family, but that doesnt mean we owe them anything. My family has caused me more harm than anything else. Just make your own life. It's your prerogative.
>not categorically awful by any means, but if that is our definition of "bad" then we are indeed underrating the amount of evil in the world.
not categorically evil by any means, but if "categorically evil" were our definition of "bad", then we would indeed be underrating the amount of evil in the world.
my syntax and grammar are herewith repaired.
I pretty much already disowned my sister
i have no doubt that she deserved it.
Classical music being used to deter black people
Intrusive thoughts have been awful lately. Mostly about health and religious stuff. Its hard to go into detail because that stuff it's hard to talk about. I don't think I could even write it down in a journal no one would see. Makes it hard to work through. I used to plan to kill myself as a kind-of "get out of jail free card" and that made it a little better to cope with, but now I'm expecting a baby and the desire to kill myself has vanished but not the feelings. It made it harder, Iike I just have to accept them and there's no eject button. I feel so lonely despite having an attentive spouse and best friend, I just can't talk to anyone about the troubles, I tried therapy before and couldn't even talk to a therapist. Every man really is an island
I have similar issues with intrusive thoughts and feelings of panic, my man. I feel your pain.
Even though I write almost every day, I'm not getting better.
I figured the answer would be reading a lot more, but it hasn't made much of a difference.
When comparing writing to other pursuits, I've noticed that it seems that people typically don't deliberately practice writing.
Neither do I and I'm wonder if I should be.
Aspiring artists will practice shapes and are recommending starter books to each other.
It isn't unusual for them to "grind" drawing -- practicing it for hours a day.
Somebody trying to get better at chess will read books and play hundreds of practice games.
An athlete will exercise their body and do practice drills for their chosen sport.
But it seems to me that when it comes to writing people just... go straight for the full novel?
Sure, some may crack open a book on writing, but it appears that people just start on a book.
Even though I know that there's a variety of writing / plotting / description exercises, I don't know anybody that practices in that way.
Most don't even settle for short stories and use that as a simple way to practice plotting and creating characters.
It's all just the full novel.
Is it weird if this seems like overconfidence to me?
Maybe even arrogance?
Once again, I'm doing it as well, so it's not like I'm scoffing at them from the sidelines, I'm in there eating dirt with the rest.
This is how things seem to me after joining several online writing groups and the like.
Am I just looking at the wrong places?
Is it a simple case of lurk more?
It should be obvious that I haven't had a formal education on matters of writing or literature.
I would assume that students in those courses would engage in stuff like that, but I just don't see it happening in practice.
I always fall into the full novel trap because it feels like I have a great idea and I underestimate the difficulty of actually having to write something.
The idea feels to big for a short story, but then it is stretched thin when it tries to be a novel. After 5 chapters I'm at my fricking limit.
I guess this is normal for newbie writers.
In 3000 years, my skull will be studied. That's my contribution to humanity, and I can finally
The history of the united states is like watching a derailed train crash and burn in slow motion over centuries.
How does this affect your personally, though?
If you live in a western country, you are a colony of the US, whether you like it or not. Because of this, whatever happens in the US is unavoidably going to effect its colonies as well. Politically, culturally, economically, Europe has become completely inseparable from the US.
I had a dream last night where people were recognizing my good points and praising me for it.
It felt enormously good and cathartic at one point, I woke up in a splendid, really amazing mood; is something so simple enough to be happy?
It certainly feels like it.
Maybe simple things can make you happy, Anon. That's a great point, I really like how you framed that. Thanks for posting!
Turgenev, The living relic
here again at the crossroads again
after a whirlsome thing and terrible night
again again the hour has arrived
wherein the expectation of a life impends
pacing, searching, what was it, again?
That momentuous resolution
That gigantic memory I had seen
Were even then upon me, Now
I find myself awake at some odd hour
The hour of thinking "the hour at hand
is near!"
It snears. Or just a ticking of the lip
"Life is passing by, quick!" it jears.
Crying, yes, but why? Whence these tears?
Whose life have I witnessed passing all these years?
Imposter! He is ever on the beaches gold
and ever treads the hour bold, with all of life awake and destinies foretold, he wears my face, but never quite as old.
He lives. I think. He does. I watch. He acheives. I recall. Damn him, worst of all. When I meet the bastard, is when we take our fall, together, and contenances meet, hands acheived like saints in reliquaries, together he and I, I think,
Or, happier now think, that if he alone lives, then he alone dies, and though I sweep from room to room in lonely quiet hours, I think I am for thinking wise,
Sleep, poor actor of my soul, who must have rest, for the heavy days I scold
Sleep, and have thy babe-faced youth
My old man's face is wearing all your truth
Saturn has been tormenting me since birth. Why me? Im not a special person.
Dream of the gods, immortal rites
such enjoyed in their soul, much remembered
the infinity of the bacchantes of Cadmus instead
of the funest pride and debauchery
I half expect my very Mormon family to disown me or write me out of the will once I inform them that I do not believe in their space Freemasonry cult anymore.
>How are you?
>I'm hanging in there...
>That's good!
NO IT FRICKING ISN'T!!! IF SOMEONE IS HANGING OFF THE LEDGE OF A CLIFF LOSING THEIR GRIP, THEY'RE IN A PERILOUS SITUATION, NOT 'DOING WELL'!
>Say hanging in there instead of losing my grip
>Surprised people didn't react to my psychic distress call I never put in words
Peak anime
Should I care that I have an awful undergraduate GPA? I’m worried it will come back to bite me if I don’t get a graduate degree.
My balls smell like steel wool
I can only be happy in contest with others; competition is the only thing I feel.
I need to work on cultivating more friendly competition rather than try to deny this any longer.
My being is in complete turmoil.
After all these years of misfortune I finally felt what I already knew. The cause of my suffering is all my own, and I don’t want or can’t change. I feel worthless, a coward, I’m ashamed. I’m going to let myself down and live forever wallowed in digress. A coward’s life unfit and too weak for happiness, which can only come from within.
Sometimes your deepest desires aren’t what you really want.
digress is a verb. the noun form is digression, you stupid FRICK
I've experienced this feeling before, like a profound loss of faith in yourself. You should remember that change is possible though, and just like a friend may win back your trust after a falling out, you can regain faith in yourself over time.
The tough part is making peace with the parts of yourself that you hate but can't change, which I think is a necessary condition of moving forward in a meaningful way. It just feels paradoxical because it can feel like you're becoming complacent, when in fact those feelings of shame feed upon themselves and make the self-hatred worse.
Accept your limitations, anon, and try to treat yourself the way you'd treat a good friend who is being down on themselves--with love and compassion.
pashtuns are whiter than italians
>Pretty average day. Tedious as frick work. Meaningless chatting. Problems to fall asleep.
>I was also thinking about something I read online at night. If you act different when you're with friends and when you're alone, who's the real one?
>Do you even exist?
Journal, 07/13/2017
I know it probably means nothing in the grand scheme of things but I read it and appreciate the thoughts.
I'm the gap in a web of connections with others, when alone there's nothing.
A hollow hood behind many masks.
On Thursday, I went out with a friend and smoked like a chimney. On Friday, I woke up to gastroenteritis. 38 hours of fitful feverish sleep, achy muscles and hot diarrhea. All the while, my eyes are glued back to the phone. Constant stimulation away from my thoughts. And today I had fish. My stash of badly written shlock's already run through. The bad prose is ebbing away. 20+ hours of letting algorithm generated reels ease you away from reality will do that. Should I not have read a book? Should I not have stimulated my mind in better ways?
I'm so inattentive and forgetful. I'm so acutely miserable after I've spent a significant time on the phone. I wish I could just chuck it away.
Eventually, eventually I'll have to climb out of my self imposed exile. I'll have to engage with reality again. Grow past my infantile regressive ways. But, I used to have something larger, and incontestably noble to work towards. What do I have now? I cannot snobbily steer past mundanity and convention. Else I'll be all alone.
It has come to my attention that the person who I probably delusionally (since we've really, to be honest, been mere acquaintances, and interacted as such, and briefly) thought was my only (if sort-of) friend, who is also 30 years older than me, deliberately did not invite me to his daughter's bat mitzvah, despite my attending the synagogue, which he also goes to, nearly every Shabbat for the past 9 months, and showing excellent knowledge of the Talmudic texts, Mishnah, piyyutim, Gemaras, Kabbalah, etc., though I'm a gentile. Despite the fact that I once recommended a skin treatment for his daughter. I feel, betrayed.. and I don't know how much longer I can go on like this, with no friends, barely anyone knowing my existence outside of my longhoused family. No, forget it, I already feel better about it. I'm good really.
Dang ol' israelites man.
Im a western Europoor and sometimes I wonder if I shouldve gone to New York and get a mentally ill israeli gf with big bobs.
Nah.
Does IQfy like John Carpenter?
Yeah who doesn't?
Yes
Seeing through toxic friends is no fun. I thought they were 'quirky' and 'special' with a 'weird humor' but they were just enjoying dragging me down. They always made fun of my ambitions, never encouraging me to do anything. I would open up on a topic I love and they would just insult me constantly and laugh. Saying shit like 'lol you suck', 'when are you going to write that book anon?' or 'I talked to a coworker about you and he said the shit you're doing is easy/you're just bad'. I'm not even making this shit up right now these are word by word phrases I've been receiving almost every day.
If I had to have some sort of strength, I'd guess it'd be a mental one because at some point their shit just didn't register. Asking them to stop didn't work before, and I guess my brain just started to get 'meh, they will keep doing that shit anyways, might as well do nothing about it'. Whenever they would bring up a topic to frick with my head I would ignore what they were saying and change subjects. Strangely this seemed to frustrate them to no end. They would then complain and try to guilt me into responding to their horrible shit and I wouldn't budge and stop the call. One day, they got mad because I was picking out which messages I responded to and ignored the other ones. They said we we weren't real friends, and that I was 'talking alone' for months even though I had full conversations with them. Then they proceeded to call me a sucker, lowlife, using personal secrets (which aren't honestly that bad, I guess that was the hate talking?) I told them about me.
I think that was when I snapped. I blocked them out and decided I would never talk to them again until I received apologies. For three nights after that I had memories of them coming back during my sleep. They were laughing at my expense and calling me a lowlife because of shitty things that happened to me. I think that put the nail in the coffin. I received my apologies after a week but I didn't feel anything and blocked them on every social media afterwards. Why not? We weren't real friends after all.
Didn't plan to tell the story but I just saw a toxic friends vs real friends video on YouTube and it reminded me of this snobbish homosexual I once called a friend and all of the shitty things he did to me.
Sometimes I poke fun at my friends and I really hope it doesnt come across as toxic or offensive
If you're thinking you are toxic and you are reflecting on your actions maybe act on them and try to say nice stuff once in a while? I don't know you and your définition of poking fun but if it isn't making people feel like shit or indulge in self depreciation it's probably alright. I have no superpowers but I'm fun poked all the time and I know how to différentiate people who are taking pleasure in making me feel like shit and others. it's not that hard to place yourself in someone's stead and guess from there.
How to become a good person without feeling like a lame cuck
Being good is synonymous with being a cuck. It means to literally help others at the expense of yourself.
There are people who are always surrounded by friends. Even when they are alone at home, they are talking on phone or texting someone. These people never feel the need to have some "alone time". They are always themselves when talking with anybody. These people are generally very happy too. I want to be such a person.
Yesterday, I was coming from the beach walk alone when I met an old friend. He asked me where I was coming from. I said, I was just taking a stroll near the beach. He started laughing, "ALONE? why?". He really couldn't understand why someone would go walk near the beach alone. It was too weird for him. Wish I was normal, like him.
I think people outside know the hot takes I post on IQfy. I'm probably a bit schizo. I also hear voices on my air conditioner.
I should probably turn off the air conditioner and stop posting on IQfy.
>Be 20
>Be depressed tfw no gf gay with no ambition, no future
>All I want in life is to meet s girl who really loves me
>I'm lucky and it happens, 10 years of a stable, loving, easy going relationship ensue
>Be 30
>Thanks to my loving and stable relationship I am now a new man
>A man who can't stop thinking about wanting to frick another woman that is not my wife
>Go out of my way to avoid women, turn down every homewrecker that comes my way
>Everytime it gets a little harder, everytime the quiet regret becomes louder
>An attractive young prostitute appears and puts herself on a silver platter for me
>The hottest one yet
>Sometimes it feels like the only thing stopping me is fear
>Sometimes it feels like cowardice
I don't need it...
I don't need it...
I don't need it...
you don't need it, you're being a narcissistic gay enamored by the idea of people liking you that you don't have any responsibilities shared with and are romanticizing betrayal of someone who actually likes you
You're right. There's that fuzzy feeling I get when a woman shows interest, and also the simple, animalistic, deranged coomer desire of doing dirty things to women.
Elaborate further anon, what happened?
Trust me when I say this isn't worth it
I feel you shit gets stale sometimes but trust me once you do it youll want to Unironically kys. Theres a new chick at my work shes fricking gorgeous but frick that Im staying away.
>DUDE SEX
You’re weak
t. never had actually attractive women showing overt sexual/romantic interest in him
Kek. Girls unironically fawn over me. I don’t care though. If I want to have sex with them I pursue. I would never actually want to be in a relationship with them.
t.never been in a long term relationship
t. Never had the security to turn it down
Why do I only ever get attention from teenage girls? Am I only attractive to teenage girls? Do adult females just hide their interest better?
"Adult" women (women over 24) are withered old pigs who hate themselves, other women, their mother and father, their sisters, their cousins, their friends, men, and you
The farther they are away from 24, the more bitter and pissy they get. They can never feel true joy again because joy for a woman is linked with two things: feeling like a carefree princess when she's under 24, and feeling like a respected wife and mother when she's over 24. There's a grey area where they can still bullshit themselves that they're 23, lasting to about 27-28, but then they get quadruple pain when the self-bullshitting stops working and they have to face the facts that they're neither a special pretty fun universally beloved social butterfly anymore, nor a respected mother, they're just some frumpy anonymous male office worker who happens to have (bad, saggy) breasts.
Post pics
Post car
Maybe you both just have frickboi energy? Or seem too laid back to women who are counting out how old they want to be to have kids with a stable income.
Kek I don't know how this got trips when you're acting like men are going to form some solidarity front for your specific fetishised age range.
[Leonardo DiCaprio shouting "too old" echoes in memetic background]
>frickboi energy
Elaborate on this
>seem too laid back to women who are counting out how old they want to be to have kids with a stable income.
I'm not talking about long standing relationships or dates. I just mean going to the store and being checked out. My assumption is thaf teemage girls are just hornier and less subtle and so will stare like a dog who got a glimpse of a steak, whereas girls in their 20s have learned to be more coy and sly. Unless I'm just some kind of teenage girl fantasy that they lose upon entering adulthood. Girls in high school would approach me often, but I havent been approached by a girl since my freshman year of college
>Elaborate
>I'm not talking about long standing relationships or dates
Yeah that's frickboi territory. If you're expecting women over 21 to act like teen girls, you probably will regret sticking your dick in that crazy.
>more coy and sly
Or maybe they're just not into you. Maybe they're just buying groceries at the store, not planning on giggling in pack.
Well thats the crux of the question: am I only attractive to teenage girls?
As another said, maybe the older girls are just smarter and can sense you have nothing going on in your life, even if you're handsome. Whereas the younger don't have the experience yet to sense these things.
>even if you're handsome.
Anon is likely not top tier handsome. People will look at those at all ages and genders. He's just probably not used to the idea that out in the open, beyond the very closed population and forced proximity of high school, he's mid like most people.
>frickboi territory
I guess I'm not being clear. I'm not talking aboht hooking up. I just want to know why I don't get "checked out" or looked at by adult women. Thats it. Are thethey checking me out and just not let me notice?
>why I don't get "checked out" or looked at by adult women
They're not interested in you. You are another face in the crowd. It's the same reason they're not checking out all the other males at the store either. Their standards are different than generic male within 20' not actively engaged in gross indecency.
Really? Women dont see a cute guy and take a look at him?
You describing yourself as cute is about as objective as your mother saying it, anon.
you're just one of those guys who peaked in high school. many such cases.
Sleeplessness. Midnight. Unceasing rain, stirred by the wind,
furrows the cold glass. I gaze, reflected in the window,
and see
through myself the night.
At the opposite door,
an old debauchee stops to open with a half-crazed child;
risen, extinguished with them is the last window
of the old hotel.
Broken and weary, attacked by sleep,
the watchman at last retires alone; left in the darkness,
an evil eye remains to keep vigil
for the streetlamp.
Like a river, the asphalt gleams under the rain.
The trees tremble, frozen and wet. Ominously somewhere
under some low roof,
a drum rumbles.
At this somber sound,
the night seems to shrink, frightened by its own emptiness,
and thrice blacker, thrice heavier becomes the darkness
and my solitude.
Truth is uninterpreted Being.
as a metaphysician I have to say this couldn't be more wrong.
As an ontologist I disagree with you
shut the frick up your discipline is not even real.
As a phenomenologist, I have to disagree
>a metaphysician
So what you're like a doctor but meta? That's so cool.
As a Taoist, I have to say it couldn't be more right.
A real taoist would not say anything about truth. At best they would say it’s the absence of delusion. Only christians and people living in christian cultures have this strange desire to make truth some kind if active fundamental force in the universe rather than merely a value of propositions.
That’s not true.
I wish, I wish I were the ceril, that on the flower of the wave flies with the halcyons with a brave heart, that sacred bird, with the color of marine purple.
Does anyone remember a book recommendation that was being shilled around here a couple months back?
It was about the spirit of fossil fuels, specifically petrol iirc, and how that spirit is acting on us from the future back into the present, I think. The book was fairly out there. But it has stuck in my mind, so I desperately want to find it now, lol
Try searching the archive
i remember seeing posts about that but i don't remember the title
Fanged Noumena? But it's more like AI acting on the present from the future or something
>eat two huge sandwiches
>body sends signal to my intestines and colon to expedite shit delivery to my lower colon
>feel the shit being loaded into the chamber
It's go time
Interesting thesis. I have noticed that girls in the 20s can smell loser on a guy while teenage girls think it's cool I have a car. I just wish an adult woman would stare at me as hungrily as teenage girls do
>captcha SAD JSH
Just learned that my family is in the top 5 percent of household income in the United States. All these years I thought I was middle class and my dad was happy to let me think that.
reminds of when a co worker tried to convince people that being 6 foot is average (he's 6'4) in the US. the worst part is I corrected him and said it's about ~15% of the population and he backpedaled and said it was an exaggeration with out acknowledging that it was in fact not 'averge'.
I wish I weren’t so intelligent because I hate being a narcissist. I hate thinking about how much better I am than everyone else but it’s pretty difficult when whenever anyone speaks on anything remotely subject to purview of thought I’m immediately forced to perceive the great difference in our abilities and the almost qualitative difference in our scope of understanding.
Never underestimate how stupid you were just a year or so ago.
I don't even underestimate how stupid I am right now
that's the problem with getting old you think damn i was so dumb when i was younger but now you have perspective to know in another ten or twenty years you are doing really dumb stuff right now
Exactly, and it's pretty damn funny.
Tonight, I have to deliver the news to a friend that someone died. I have no idea how I'm going to do that. I'm really dreading it.
Give me their number and I’ll text it to them for you
Have to get letters of recommendation and write a motivational statement for this job. Starting to get demoralized and feel like I'm not good enough reading the sample motivational statements from accepted past applicants.
I'm a nobody, these people sound like they've been dreaming and preparing their entire life just for the opportunity. Have years of leadership experience.
To even write a half competent statement I'm just going to have to straight up fabricate half my life, make it seem like I've been a leader go-getter from the womb. When in truth I've been a lazy slug wasting half my time here or playing video games.
>motivational statement
Humiliation ritual. I hate that crap.
Yeah that's what it is, hated having to do similar shit when I applied to colleges.
Tomorrow night when I'm at my overnight shift I'll crank it out, and just try to think of it like a college essay. And just copy the style from the samples.
I'm just really bad at bullshitting. I hate having to write about myself, and my natural instinct irl is always to downplay myself
I got shitfaced recently and said some scary things on the phone to a friend. Then some of them showed up at my place. We talked about it and they took all of my booze. I'm ashamed that I made everyone so sad but I'm glad everything is out in the open now. I'm not sure I'm ready to take on the world sober.
What did you say
Probably talked about killing himself
I had a dream where I met my old coworker in my old work place. I used to work in a start up so we were both short staffed and tight with each other. In my said dream, he said to me "why are you here? you're not planning on going back to a sales job right?". I replied "absolutely not. I did wanna check what you were upto tho". In the end, he didn't really reply and I woke up.
>The entirety of canonical Western philosophy is a sort of escape from the Eden of primitive telepathy, which surrounds every sentient being, humans certainly no less than other entities. But the point is fundamentally the connection between language and telepathy in the sense of the recording of emotion and human intentionality despite itself. In this sense telepathy at least exists as a fossil presence in language itself and from which insight it must lamentably be concluded that modern conservative philosophic thought is predominantly, likely fundamentally, characterized by the telepathic engrafting of mauvaise foi despite itself: to wit that a foundational anti-epistemology this the "it" of modern conservative discourse as such. Otherwise put, the secret and proprietary structures and technologies of modern capitalism, especially in the American imperial center, represent its reified truth that is nevertheless a black box to all but a select few, for whom telepathy as such may serve to represent the entelechy of the whole, if by telepathy is understood the above expatiated principal. Everything resolves around this: the crisis of the system is the telepathic Id that cannot be disclosed, must fundamentally be guarded against with ever more encompassing and complex structures of containment, interference, and disruption, overlayed by a psychology of something approaching pure deception and the elite trust in the efficacy of such deception without delving into the materiality or particularities of the same. So that the byword, for elite capitalism, is inevitably: Trust in the Deception & thereby deceive all trust that is not capable of, qua principal, of investment in the deception..."
is this dogshit or what? i always feel like im not describing enough
i should just stick to screenplays but that shit is getting me nowhere
why is it full of sentence fragments? are you trying to be artsy and "break the rules" or do you just suck at grammar? also i'm pretty sure the tense changes at least once in the first paragraph. "like a adulterer"? did you proofread this at all? her shrieks found their way through the tiniest gaps of my armor? found and ran is past tense but everything else is present tense? am i being trolled? what the frick. i'm going to bed.
i understand what youre saying, but youre giving me advice on shit that doesnt matter and can easily be fixed once its all written
who gives a frick at this stage whether "a" is supposed to be "an"
im asking if the actual content of it is shit or at least the tiniest bit interesting
So he's just sitting in a corner beating himself screaming? Kind of weird tbh.
The story also reads a bit like a loser's sex fantasy
It's just a trick. The meaning of life is a magic trick. You pull out the meaning out of the hat with your mind. The trick makes us feel joy, laugh and smile but it's an illusion. Our brain lies to keep us alive.
Forgive the lie as thanks to it there is beauty out there in the world. It's a lie I want to live in.
Yes, It's just a trick.
Distractions aren't enjoyable anymore. Wasting time is wasting me.
My desk lamp is a circle of l.e.d lights but the center is empty. Looking at it the abscense is all the more noticeable.
My legs and lower back ache.
I lack insight, life has settled into a dull, constricted tedium. Eating, shitting, showering, and sleeping. These are mainly what my life consists of at this point.
Social interaction has reached an absolute minimum. I do nothing to maintain or grow connection to anyone.
It's been this way so long it's normal for me.
Back when i was a child, ten or so, was the last time life felt really spontaneous and free.
Now I'm constrained by myself.
My clunky decade old plus lenovo laptop is a good metaphor for my life. Keys missing, weighs heavy, whirrs like crazy. Runs ok still.
Every person is a threat. Beyond stereotyped responses, I never dare to say anything. I am basically unreal . I will tell you nothing unexpected. I will reveal nothing, which reveals something anyway.
I am good how about you?
>Back when i was a child, ten or so, was the last time life felt really spontaneous and free.
Yeah that's pretty normal dude, you're an adult now. It's not going to feel the same.
Had a dream about writing, felt pretty good about the fact that I'm on page 45 (i didn't divide by pages yet). Counted my text now and yeah, it's about 45 pages now. Cool.
I've been pondering if I should try to learn another language.
But I feel old and like I missed my chance.
Maybe it's just cope because I'm lazy.
Just learn Middle English.
I don't consider it learning another language, maybe if it was old English/saxon, I'm torn between French, Japanese, Ancient Greek, German, (classical) Nahuatl, or keep coping.
I am bilingual btw.
Granted it's still wildly divergent, but there are inklings of the language I speak there.
Or maybe I just have an over-bloated ego because I can mostly parse through early modern texts without much problem.
Maybe I do two.
Also, I've been reading Euripides lately.
it's definitely just a cope. that bs about how it's so hard to learn to into a new language when you're a boomer is wildly overstated. obviously it's easier if you're 2 y/o but it's not hard even if you have out of control crow's feet.
Everything moves but I stand still. Everyone's life seems to be going somewhere but mine doesn't. I just keep trying and failing. Over and over again.
*wiener is pulsing in my hands*im sitting in the handicapped seat on the bus. College students. Old people. 1 hobo in the back . So Im double fisting my wiener. Driver hadn't noticed yet but the moronic girl sitting across from me in the other moron seat did. So Im looking at her wondering if she even knows what a dinky is. I smile to her. Stupid b***h. I get up and the bus brakes a little, I stumble. wiener still at the ready . So I go up to her and say "awwwoooo white b***h never seen a wiener before moronic b***h??" She is looking directly at me now. She had an electric scooter. Those are for thr real lazy morons. Her arms were probably too fat and gimpy to use a real wheelchair. Anyway, I point my wiener at her and guess what she does? Starts to give me head. I shit you not this b***h was giving me the best bus bj I've ever had. The whole bus is watchin us now, enthralled. No ones seen a moron have sex before.
It's like the Roman coliseum in here, commodus chucking slaves in to be mauled by bears and lions. So she's giving me slop, and I'm about to bust. So what do I do? I pull the string thingy that tells the bus driver to stop the bus. Still without cumming though I was close despite this bjtch being in a electric scooter, I place my hands on either side of her head and with a quick motion I snap her neck. She dies almost instantly. The bus erupts into jovial, glowing cheers. I Mercy killed her. They knew I had to do it. She was moronic and in a wheelchair. I searched her pockets and stole a 20 out of her wallet and got off the bus
How do I get my black girlfriend to let me say the N word around her?
I'm white by the way
What happens when you do it
Never tried!
What is it about me that makes it impossible for me to socialize? In a one on one setting I can speak with another person well enough, but when the number of participants expands past 3 I might as well not even be there. Perhaps it's the company I keep, but frankly I can't say. It's not even that I'm nervous, I've largely moved past my social anxiety, I simply have nothing to say, nothing even comes to mind.
Can you meet interesting people in college courses? My first trip to college I was a social sperg, and also I probably wouldn't have wanted to be friends with any of my classmates do to the subject matter; say I went for philosophy, history, theology, literature, etc... would I meet intelligent people willing to make connections?
it becomes more of a dominance battle as you go up in people. there's a lot of factors (familiarity, context,energy levels, etc) that result in people being included or excluded from less intimate conversation. a lot of it is embodied and it takes experience. unless you are important in the context or valuable you have to expend energy to remain in 'play.
also there is very off putting dominance battles that often occur when two especially charismatic people meet. people call it reality distortions fields or spell casting etc but essentially theres a series of very subtle indicators of psyhic warfare that you can spot (if you aren't participating especially)
It's hard for anyone to pipe up in those group situations. I'm not a sperg and I just started a new job where everyone gathers around in the morning for a casual group chat. Be comfortable with being silent but participate by reacting. If you think of something funny or good to say just say it. You are probably being over critical of your potential doalogue options in your own head. Guess what, people say dumb or uninteresting shit all the time.
>Be comfortable with being silent but participate by reacting
This
>Guess what, people say dumb or uninteresting shit all the time
I'm well aware, and overthinking is something I'm actively trying, with a decent amount of success, to overcome. Guess I just need to get in more reps.
Yep, just keep doing it. Stop posting about it stop thinking about it and just do it.
Johnny Soapsuds squirmed a bit as she continued to work her supple mouth over his engorged, thriving wiener head.
Play with my balls he said and she looked up at him
Play with my balls.
She nodded and began to lick and suck his balls making an o shape with her mouth like she was saying oop and pressed her big lips to his sack.
No he said
Play with my balls.
She looked up at him confused and licked and sucked harder like she was a slave working the field and he was her plantation daddy in the hot Georgia sun.
No b***h he said.
Play with my balls.
He pulled her head back by the scruff of her skull and looked her dead in the eyes. She was confused
I am she said.
No you arent. Play with them.
What do you Play?
She shook her head confusedly.
I dont know
You Play a game. A game has rules.
He pressed her head to his winky.
A game has a winner and a loser. It has a scoring system. You are just messing with my balls with your mouth
She looked up at him again blankly like an animal whose head had just been separated from its body and in limbo.
I want you to invent a little game to play with my balls you absolutely dumb b***h. Can you even do that?
He smirked knowing it would be hard given the balls were attached to his body and not easily used as pieces In even a simple game like basketball or candy land. You know like stuff for dumbfricks.
I implore you he said.
Think for a moment and then play with my balls.
She sat puzzled looking at his junk her hands held atop one another in her lap and her thick thighs spilling slightly over her calf whose feet cradled her pert but fat ass
I can't think of a game she said.
Did you even try?
I did and I cant.
He laughed. Here I'll play with your breasts.
He began to suckle her like he was a gay kid realizing his true self by drinking from a hose on a hot summer day. Lips over the whole thing.
I'm gonna suck your nipple while you suck the other one. Her breasts were big and floppy enough and her neck short enough to make it work.
OK she said. And she began to suck at quite a good pace.
He began to suck harder and was practically inhaling her tit.
He looked up to see her smiling. Milk dripping down her chin.
I win she said.
He scowled and stood up. His penis was shrinking quickly. Going flaccid. Too quick
I wanted to win he said.
Thats not fair. You practiced.
No she said
I never suck my own breasts
He was very mad now. You cheated somehow he yelled as he began to pace the room.
He opened the door and left.
I'm just going to let God take the wheel. By that I mean I'm not going to do anything in particular.
How often should I get a covid vaccine to keep up with mutations?
Unironically if you're worried about it just read the CDC's recommendations (if you're in the US)
Explain virology to me in one sentence.
It's the study of viruses.
It's unlikely to do much for you at this point. Keeping up with new mutations from a vaccine is basically only a good idea with a more lethal mutation or more damaging mutation. The vaccine isn't being redesigned for new mutations now, so at best you're boosting immunity to extant strains. More likely, you're not boosting your immunity to anything because you already have an immunity from earlier boosters and exposure.
The roll out of vaccines is actually least optimal in some ways, because having a highly vaccinated population with a great gulf in immunity between them and the less vaccinated, is the kind of evolutionary pressure you want to avoid for most pathogens.
This isn't to say vaccines are bad or don't work, but if you apply them unevenly to a population they certainly can be less effective.
If we all share a common ancestry from a couple thousand years ago, then where's my Australian Aboriginal DNA?
No one says that
We all share DNA from one species that came from north Africa. See: not Sub-Saharan
They intermixed with neanderthal
If I chunk my head with a pump shotgun will I feel any pain? Assuming I aim for and hit the brain stem right away.
Asking so I can plan my exit plan when life gets too much. I still need to buy the shotgun and find out where I'm going to scatter my brains so I don't traumatize anybody who finds me-or my family for that matter. Should I go MIA and make it so that they'll maybe never find me and wonder for decades what happened to me? Or go somewhere just well hid enough that maybe they find my corpse in a couple years or months and it's an advanced stage of decomposition, even a skeleton? Thanks.
Why
Who cares. Are you going to answer the question or not?
Why are you performatively looking for attention about your suicide from strangers on a literature forum in the middle of the night
Your answer will affect my answer to your initial questions
That's a good question. I don't know. I guess it scratches a certain itch. Feels kind of good.
Please remember I am impartial and am not looking to trick you or make you feel better.
Am I right in saying your desire to have a nice day comes and goes and gets worse at night?
Does your reason have something to do with another person?
also should I T-box myself or go up through the roof of the mouth? T-box seems kind of tricky, I don't know how I'd hold the shotgun out in front of my face and then get it right. Seems like a better way to make myself permanently moronic and disfigured though. Up through the roof of the mouth aiming at the brain stem seems to be a safer bet.
>read a history of philosophy thinking im going to be mind blown by a bunch of insane shit
>it's just "dude, what do words *really* mean, bro?" for 3000 years
well that was gay, i should have spent that time practicing guitar
Brainlet
t. chmess enjoyer
I visited an old friend and his roommate was there whom I also knew. He was a philosophy student specializing in Nietzsche. He had that big Kant book out. About an hour into the hang I noticed a magazine on the table that had a big fat b***h in a bikini on the cover. I said magazines shouldn't promote fatness as healthy or beautiful because it would be an unhealthy influence. We started arguing about it and he got really mad and kicked me out of their house. My friend was embarrassed and didn't participate.
that is hilarious. he probably has a new fat gf he didn't tell you about.
THE DOUCHIL IN MY EAR:
you're in iraq'' end quote a voicehallucination said as i saw a lazer of a gun pointing through my window while i rapped the kali linux python pc keys. i couldn't stop thinking about how epic if i went to war and killed a lot of enemies. i thought to myself, i'm voting for trump. i don't care how much i hate guns, we now need them. after all, i'm a gun maniac. (no..) (that can't be!) (i'm not!) (never!) so, after all is said and done, i'm the victim of narcissism turn's psycho to kill the friendlies. which is social support, but no, it's not because i'm innocent of senselessness and at once a social engineer. so wait. what was i thinking again? Oh, yeah, the war will be on our soil next. that's why all the world should have guns and stick to themselves as free gun-worshipping countries filled with gun neurotics who live in a society polite. there should be restricted access, like, you must go to a government facility to get one. there should be sensitive racism, soft core violence and fricking buttholes on camera. but they should kill themselves because it aint worth it to take it out on an innocent better. we are the wages of sin and death. it's not real to take it out. wait if enough of this incursion occurs,.. well, we will have the pleasure to kill those enemies of our's on our land who attempt to slaughter our families wholesale en masse and rape our wives or children. it's not even ours, we're just brutal monkey's data mongering. I guess it's nobodies in particular, we don't own anything. we just pull the trigger. it's a necessary evil when they do come for everything we have and live for, to take it, and lord it over us. i like fallacies like that. it means i have guts. they're a real dozens of diamonds now.
now. even garbage like you should understand that there is no escaping the inevitable, we all gotta die someday. should feel nice to be on the serving side. let's keep it real, if you aint going to deliver them, they're going to send you to your grave. they owe us, but they're pwned, fair enough, right?
BE PERFECT, AS THE LORD HIMSELF HAS COMMANDED YOU TO BE PERFECT, LEST YOU DIE A SORRY DEATH. STAMP [redacted] [redacted]. SATAN EXPLAIN: THOU SHALL NOT DESIRE!
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[detcader]
my posts are getting darker the more i post on this site i noticed. i think it's time to turn on the romance: the world is full of idiots!
I just had a dream that cormac mccarthy was a woman and he was interviewed on a show where the interviewee has to be naked.
You ever notice how the people who are remembered by history are the sons and daughters of politicians and professionals or tradesmen? If they’re not politicians, they’re always lawyers, doctors, civil servants, stone masons, bricklayers, or farmers. But what about the sons and daughters of VPs of chain restaurants, and directors of operations for a series of hospitals, or the general managers of regional construction companies…? They’re just going to be nobodies?