I just returned home from a month long stay in Berlin doing a photography project with some trendy art school types. The absolute phenotype for the sort of wannabe bohemians that get mocked here.
Well on the train home i run into this guy from technical collage. We chat for for less then a 2 minutes as i had to be off, but he seems friendly, and invites me out for a drink. I say yes, hell why not catch up. It's been a while.
I show up to the bar and immediately realize my mistake. The guy is on his 6 beer and and is just ranting at strangers about nothing. We sit down and the only thing he care about is weed and sex. Nothing else i bring up even elicits a response while he elaborates on the long list of hookers and he fricked , and how their pussy tasted. And you know i try not to be a snob, i join in, i make similar comments, i tell him about the weird polygamous stuff going on in Berlin, but i can feel that small town stupidity radiating off of him. The drugs , the alcohol that can make some people more fun or interesting is here just a thick haze choking the life out me. And it's not like he is a failure, he's done well for himself, i think he manages some large department sore chain or whatever. Still i got home and immediately messaged my Berlin art hoe friends.
The musk of a woman's unwashed ass is one of the finest sensuous pleasures of this life. Spreading a woman's cheeks in doggystyle and catching a whiff of that animal aroma truly has a more profound effect on the mind than a breakthrough dosage of DMT. One must keep this in mind when selecting a mate - women who are too hygienic are robbing man of one of life's finest joys through their insecurity.
Mexican actually. And regardless, what's the point of forcing kids to nap? >You WILL sleep one extra hour a day even though you still want to play, little child. And you WILL like it
I find myself in a similar state, though more so in writing anything past mere scribbles. I craft these mere tendrils of what I want to say, held together with duct tape and baling wire, only for my confidence in it to collapse as soon as it's forced to stand on its own. I just wish it would end soon. I wish not to submit myself into a sterile life, but I fail to see any alternatives that present themselves. I wish you luck in being able to write, anon, and escape this feeling with at least the knowledge of how to cut the roots out if they linger.
The Sally Rooney thread has me thinking about the physiognomy of writers and how it affects their oeuvre.
Most sci-fi writers, until fairly recently, have been middle aged, pudgy, nerdy men. Yet how many works feature a cool character who sleeps with a girl at least half his age? A few examples: Ringworld, Neuromancer, Snow Crash, Reality Dysfunction.
Most, but not all, Nihilist or Existentialist writers have been butt ugly or awkward men. Sartre, Schopenhauer, Ligotti, Lovecraft, etc.
Both Austen and Charlotte Brontë were plain women who never married, who wrote about plain women who married men who were financially above them, as if they needed the escape. Sally Rooney seems to be headed in that direction.
Perhaps this is the inner troony in me. But I often feel as if God has overlooked the creation of man in terms of beauty and aesthetics.
I often find this true in how modern society views men as the utilitarian sex. In where it is muscles and the aesthetic of masculinity that makes a man attractive. But even with that, you don't really call a man beautiful.
On the other hand, a woman's beauty is overwhelmingly apparent in society. Where most men are just "some guy", a woman, as said in the meme of a beautiful cashier at Mcdonald's, can appear anywhere and is bountiful. Weather muscular, skinny, curvy, etc. A woman's existence is beauty. Whereas a man's beauty, when it comes to feminine traits, are seen as flaws and justification for ridicule. There is simply no room to find men pretty.
>A woman's existence is beauty. Whereas a man's beauty, when it comes to feminine traits, are seen as flaws and justification for ridicule. There is simply no room to find men pretty.
Hallyu is progressively destroying your worldview and it is a horror you will wish you hadn't wished for
The thing is that women just "are". Their existence is the beauty, which is why men will become psychopathic for some girl. The same is not done for men because men do not have the crafted beauty given by god. Which is why men have more muscles and more driven to work. Because the male gender is the workhorse. Women, on the other hand, are art.
>A woman's existence is beauty. Whereas a man's beauty, when it comes to feminine traits, are seen as flaws and justification for ridicule. There is simply no room to find men pretty.
Hallyu is progressively destroying your worldview and it is a horror you will wish you hadn't wished for
>Hallyu
Koreans? Well Koreans are more open to the feminine man, to the extent where, facially anyways, the distiction between a man and a woman can be difficult.
But I would say that these men, even at peak beauty, are still seen as men. Workhorse actors. Just look at the difference between how people talk about male and female Korean stars. One is spoken of in adoration, the other as a thing to conquer and preserve.
I'm so bored. I don't want to play any games, I don't want to jack off, I don't want to watch Youtube, I don't want to watch a movie, I don't want to read, I don't want to watch a TV show and I don't want to listen to an audiobook. I just don't know what to do.
Are you seriously trying to argue that a wife and kids are a good thing?
9 months ago
Anonymous
If you need to pretend like they aren't so you don't feel like your life is a waste, go right ahead
9 months ago
Anonymous
I genuinely can't think of any pros, only cons.
9 months ago
Anonymous
I'm not that anon, but I also have a wife and kids, and I love them dearly. Have you considered the possibility that what's not right for you could be fantastic for someone else? What if the journey that shaped your worldview is not the complete summation of human experience?
9 months ago
Anonymous
>Have you considered the possibility that what's not right for you could be fantastic for someone else?
This is a good point. I still don't see any pros though. >What if the journey that shaped your worldview is not the complete summation of human experience?
I think it's impossible to have a complete human experience.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Well there you have it. I can imagine the types of things that occur in life that make someone not want to have a family. Wether it bothers you or not, I'm sorry that's been your experience.
9 months ago
Anonymous
I don't think there's been anything in my life that would put me off of having a family, I just like to look at things logically and break them down and when I do that, I can't see any pros to having a family.
>I still don't see any pros though
So what, you just want to jerk off and smoke pot without interruptions until old age?
I don't smoke but I'm more than happy just to jerk off till I die, yeah.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Thanks for taking yourself out of the gene pool.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Explain why it's a good thing that I did.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Because you come across as a gay.
What do your parents think of you living alone?
9 months ago
Anonymous
>Because you come across as a gay.
I'm straight. >What do your parents think of you living alone?
I currently live with my mum but I don't see why she'd care about me living by myself, honestly, she'd probably prefer it if I lived by myself because I'm very particular about how I like things and she knows that I like being alone.
>I'm more than happy just to jerk off till I die, yeah
Wow very logical man. Floored by the analytic power of your mind here
What did you want me to write? You asked a simple question and I gave you a simple answer.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>I currently live with my mum
Ok yeah you're coping in a massive way
9 months ago
Anonymous
You're living with mommy.
You're barely even a man. Obviously you don't see the benefits in starting a family. How old are you?
9 months ago
Anonymous
>How old are you?
twenty, I guarantee I'm more mature than you though. >You're living with mommy.
Yes, my country is currently going through a rental crisis, I don't think I could move out if I wanted to.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Do tell me how you think you're more mature than me.
Have you ever had to take care of yourself? Do you have a job or income (not moronbux from the state).
Have you ever had a relationship with a woman?
Tell me where you outshine me in maturity.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>Have you ever had to take care of yourself? Do you have a job or income
I have in the past. >Have you ever had a relationship with a woman?
Yes.
I know I'm more mature than you based off this
Because you come across as a gay.
What do your parents think of you living alone?
reply alone. I asked you to give me a reason as to why you think it's good that I got myself out of the gene pool and all you could do was throw a slur at me because you had no real answer.
9 months ago
Anonymous
It wasn't just a slur.
If you're autistic and want me to spell it out for you: it has to do with your way of thinking.
Autistic, replying with 'yuck' when someone mentions his wife and kids.
You come across as a spaz.
And you have not demonstrated how you're more mature in the slightest. Or does going 'yuck' imply a mature response?
9 months ago
Anonymous
>And you have not demonstrated how you're more mature in the slightest.
I literally did in my reply but you don't want to accept it. >Or does going 'yuck' imply a mature response?
It doesn't but one immature reply doesn't make me less mature than you. >It wasn't just a slur.
If you're autistic and want me to spell it out for you: it has to do with your way of thinking.
If that was the case then you would've explained it in your reply instead of making bullshit up to try and save face.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>It doesn't but one immature reply doesn't make me less mature than you.
It does.
Your immature reply was to something extremely normal (someone mentions wife and kids).
Mine was in response to some anti-social autist arguing with people about how family is yucky.
Have fun living with mommy, scolding at people with families.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Thats exactly what a gay would say
9 months ago
Anonymous
you're not twenty. you're nineteen.
9 months ago
Anonymous
No, I'm twenty, turning twenty-one in December.
9 months ago
Anonymous
KWAB
9 months ago
Anonymous
>20 year old living with mom who wants to kill himself because he isn't a millionaire and will have to go to work in order to live believes he is completely self-sufficient and needs neither family or friends and can stay happy jerking off for the rest of his life >he says he is more mature than anyone else
Thanks for the laugh m80, but dear fricking God these are the people you are interacting with on this board
9 months ago
Anonymous
>I'm mature for my age
You're about to get dogpiled bro. Just log off for a while
9 months ago
Anonymous
My general view is that people who don't want to breed are not good enough to breed. Its a self solving problem
9 months ago
Anonymous
>I'm more than happy just to jerk off till I die, yeah
Wow very logical man. Floored by the analytic power of your mind here
9 months ago
Anonymous
>Because you come across as a gay.
I'm straight. >What do your parents think of you living alone?
I currently live with my mum but I don't see why she'd care about me living by myself, honestly, she'd probably prefer it if I lived by myself because I'm very particular about how I like things and she knows that I like being alone.
[...]
What did you want me to write? You asked a simple question and I gave you a simple answer.
Your exchange reminds me of a blogpost I once laughed at, in which a clinical autist was explaining why it was that autistic people do not understand social rules. His point was that autistic people are very rational, so they need to have things very clearly explained to them, and then see for themselves that whatever rule in question leads to the most rational outcome. This was rarely the case for social rules, or so the autist claimed. The blogpost then went on to say that this meant that the moronations of autistic people actually wasn't moronations, but them being much smarter and more rational than NPCs.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>I still don't see any pros though
So what, you just want to jerk off and smoke pot without interruptions until old age?
9 months ago
Anonymous
Your problem is navel-gazing. Having a family is the main pathway to the most intimate experiences one could ever have in life. What is the point of intimacy? You get to examine and learn from the core of what makes us human. This leads directly to your perception on the biggest questions of existence. You witness the greatest process of all, growth, and it makes you realize just how vast this whole thing is. That's depth of perception. It marries the base and the sublime. There is an ascension within it all, but it's only available to those who have a keen enough eye to distinguish apart from the fluff. How can you not appreciate what engages the most of your manhood (and womanhood)? But I understand it clearly not being for everyone.
I genuinely think I should end it all because I'll never become a millionaire, I don't see a point in living life if I'm gonna be living most of it at work.
Are you being fully honest? Do you live the cheapest place you possibly could and have zero superfluous luxuries in your daily life?
In that case, frick that sucks and I feel for ya, but I hardly believe it can be true.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>Are you being fully honest?
I live at home but my mum charges me rent so I have to get a job soon, I don't know what you think I'm lying about. You can ask me more direct questions and I'll answer them.
How much is that? I know fast-fashion is a major source of pollution, frivolous spending and endless cringe, but it doesn't really hurt me, it just annoys me slightly when I focus on it.
>Life, young man, is a woman, a woman sprawled before us, with close-pressed bulging breasts and a great, soft belly between those broad hips, with slender arms and swelling thighs, with eyes half-closed in mocking defiance, challenging and demanding our most urgent response, the proof or collapse of our resilient manly desire >only one sin is past forgiveness, pity and mercy, and that is the sin of lacking appetite for life
I miss Mynheer Peeperkorn so much bros...
Theres a long time family friend who just went off to college. Ive known this kid since he was a baby. He called me to say that he misses everyone and is sad to be away from everyone. This was kind of jarring. Ive always wanted nothing more than to get as far away from my family as I could. I also never feel like I "miss" anyone ever. Even when I'm away or out of contact. I'm kind of like a dog in that I forget that people exist when I'm not around them. Like my brother died recently and I don't miss him at all. Feels bad man. I think my mind got really fricked up from my childhood.
Nothing exists in my mind beyond death and suffering, torture and pain beyond sanity and reason.
I am a gazelle in an eternal, impossible escape from a lion, a sheep surrounded by wolves, the victim to every murder. The certainty of the horrendous and vile end that awaits hangs heavily on me, casts the darkest of shadows on every single day and night, reduces every value, hope and dream to pathetic distractions.
I surrender my mind to the blackness of night, and gradually my thoughts become pleasantly incoherent until I cease to be. But every morning I am once again here, once again in full use of my mental faculties, greeted by endless possibilities for horror and pain, the tight rope I walk on as frail as it ever has been from the moment I set foot on this blood-soaked planet.
And I take it all in. I take every single horror this world has to offer and I make it mine, never looking away, never wondering why. I go through the motions until my sole respite is at hand, my pathetic revenge on an existence that hates everything it contains.
The sun shines on this endless orgy of brutality and I transform into something vile. In becoming an extension of the malignantly useless will that runs through every living being, I recover the illusion of safety and control. And eternity.
Chaos turns to certainty, weakness turns to strength, fear twists into a merciless wild chase for pleasure
Abel stabs furiously into random parts of Cain's face, slashing through his cheeks and carving his eyes out. He pummels his face furiously with a stone until his nose caves in. Cain flails his arms and legs wildly until able renders them useless, pulverizing his bones, and then drags him into the fire. Cain writhes like a worm and howls like a banshee, the air fills with the smell of burnt fat.
After washing away the remaining filth, high on the glory of victory, the daring confrontation with death, he runs towards his wife, his wiener throbbing with the same intensity he smashed Cain's arms and legs into paste. His wife's dripping c**t awaits him hungrily as she fingers her butthole in anticipation, her ass firm and bouncy, her holes tight and fresh.
No foreplay, no pretense. She's thrown into the ground, ass up in the air, and Cain shoves his tongue into her twitching sphincter. His wiener pushes in and she moans with pain while fingering her c**t.
The end.
I am losing my fricking mind I think, I can’t be sure anymore. I want to do everything in the world. I want to take every opportunity that comes my way. But right now I’m only sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night and still feel like I’m not doing enough even though I work for 12-16 hours a day (jobs and hobby projects). I want to maybe relax a little with some video games or learn a new language or how to code but it never feels like there’s enough time. And then whenever I’m deep into something it makes me feel like I’m falling behind on everything else and need to catch up. I feel trapped yet free at the same time. It’s like I can’t let go of time. I just want to do everything all the time all at once and it’s draining yet rewarding and I feel like I’m becoming less certain what I’m even thinking as the days go by.
I see my ugly looks as a blessing. Theres no risk at getting approach by girls or not being able to return the feelings. Im not even that monsterous like Elephant Man because some girl would definitely have a thing for it but just hideous enough to remain sexuality invisible. Freedom
How do I muster the respect needed to find a partner that I might love, knowing so many women spend their entire early years clubbing and posting nudes of themselves online?
Personally, I think we should marry and have kids like our ancestors did, but not keep up hope for a traditional submissive virgin. We need to understand how women are, not get too attached, guard ourselves, and make try e best with it that we can.
I cant. If I'm going to marry and procreate it has to be with someone whom I love, and that means I need someone whom I can respect, someone who loves and respects themselves, so they can in turn love me. Do I have too much pride? I just cannot fathom how I can force myself to find these meerkats who rush to the nigthclubs and bars every single friday night, with half their ass sticking out, running around and humiliating themselves just to get drunk and find some poor sap to take them with a candom while they marinate themselves with contraceptives.
Do you believe in redemption, forgiveness, and mercy?
9 months ago
Anonymous
If I know the person, perhaps, but we're talking about taking a shot with, at the time, a stranger. So no.
Well just know that not 100% of women go to the nightclub each weekend.
I'd say most don't and only a small percentage does.
Sure most women have been to a nightclub before, maybe they go twice a year plus new years.
Some questions: how old are you
And what do you consider acceptable for a woman in terms of her 'experience'
If you're like 26 and she is 24, would you accept it if she had 2 relationships and once a fling on vacation or whatever?
Cause if that's palatable to you then I think you have plenty of options.
I'm not up to date with body counts stats but I think most women don't have a stack of 10+ bodies.
And it also helps to look honestly at yourself. For a woman a pitfall can be sleeping around too much. For men it can be being socially awkward, niche hobbies no one gives a shit about and grooming yourself very poorly.
I'm in my late twenties. And the only 'experience' a woman having should be that of a long relationship that failed for one or another major reason, complete incompatibility or differences in what they wanted for the future, one night stands or vacation flings are completely out of the question, also I don't think I would ever want to engage with someone over 25, because if implications. I'am not socially awkward in anyway, a bit taciturn for sure, but I have no problem talking to women, which is what actually promppted some interest in my when I was young, however back then I didn't feel mature enough and I wasn't yet sure of what I wanted so I never chaced a relationship. I don't know where to find these women you're talking about, all of them seem to be obsessed with social media and appearing as happy as they can be to their friends, which apparently means non stop partying and cheap sex. They weren't at my uni and they're not here at my job, I feel kind of lost, considering most of my hobbies are solitary.
9 months ago
Anonymous
So you're a virgin in your late twenties, who is not a big talker and who is into solitary hobbies.
What if I told you that women like men who are outgoing, have a social circle and who has experience with women?
I'm not trying to insult you, but going purely by your description, you don't seem to fit the perfect picture women demand in the same way you expect women to be.
Someone who has had 2 relationships and a vacation fling at 24 is not some irredeemable prostitute. Just like a man in his late twenties, a virgin isn't. But if you're not a top dog and you're in your late twenties, be realistic about who you can attract.
Either it's going to be some 18-20 year old who has no experience. I guess you find her at some 'based' church. Or you see that you cannot pull the cream of the crop, and you go for someone who is flawed like you are.
Now I'm by no means saying to wife up a prostitute or a worn out roastie. But when you're going for a relationship (eventually marriage) you're going to have to swallow some flaws. Do you plan on not having sex till marriage either? Cause that'll add another layer of difficulty.
Well just know that not 100% of women go to the nightclub each weekend.
I'd say most don't and only a small percentage does.
Sure most women have been to a nightclub before, maybe they go twice a year plus new years.
Some questions: how old are you
And what do you consider acceptable for a woman in terms of her 'experience'
If you're like 26 and she is 24, would you accept it if she had 2 relationships and once a fling on vacation or whatever?
Cause if that's palatable to you then I think you have plenty of options.
I'm not up to date with body counts stats but I think most women don't have a stack of 10+ bodies.
And it also helps to look honestly at yourself. For a woman a pitfall can be sleeping around too much. For men it can be being socially awkward, niche hobbies no one gives a shit about and grooming yourself very poorly.
I’m not making a value judgement so I can’t say if you have too much pride. I’m taking a strictly utilitarian view here and saying that if you want children and anything remotely resembling a family life as a husband and a father, you will probably just have to accept the diminished nature of what’s available to you in this time. If you want the coat, you need to accept the price tag, the fact that it’s not as nice as coats used to be, the fact that the price is higher than it used to be, and the fact that it will probably only be your coat for a while before it decides to walk off. That’s just how it is. But my advice would to be not throw yourself into it. Don’t find a wife in night clubs or bars. You know? You don’t want to go dumpster diving, when you still get the albeit lesser coat I mentioned.
What I’m looking for in a wife at this point, is someone who might leave but probably won’t ruin my life, someone with good genes that can have healthy kids, and someone who is more likely, however small that margin might be, to be a good mother and stick around until they’re adults or nearly adults. That’s it honestly. I really don’t have any hope at all anymore for finding love, commitment, loyalty, a loving, caring wife, or a lasting marriage. I just feel like that’s too naive. And as for her taking all my stuff, I will probably put everything I have in the name of a parent or a sibling so when the divorce comes, there’s nothing for her to take anyway.
9 months ago
Anonymous
So you're a virgin in your late twenties, who is not a big talker and who is into solitary hobbies.
What if I told you that women like men who are outgoing, have a social circle and who has experience with women?
I'm not trying to insult you, but going purely by your description, you don't seem to fit the perfect picture women demand in the same way you expect women to be.
Someone who has had 2 relationships and a vacation fling at 24 is not some irredeemable prostitute. Just like a man in his late twenties, a virgin isn't. But if you're not a top dog and you're in your late twenties, be realistic about who you can attract.
Either it's going to be some 18-20 year old who has no experience. I guess you find her at some 'based' church. Or you see that you cannot pull the cream of the crop, and you go for someone who is flawed like you are.
Now I'm by no means saying to wife up a prostitute or a worn out roastie. But when you're going for a relationship (eventually marriage) you're going to have to swallow some flaws. Do you plan on not having sex till marriage either? Cause that'll add another layer of difficulty.
I already know all of this, and believe when I say I have ran in through my head a thousand times. But in the end I desire love and healthy offpsring, and a stable relationship is paramount to both of those. Belive me I should know as my parents split when I was very young which has had a massively negative effect on my life. Because of this I belive I have much more of a fear than most guys of a failed relationship, I simply cannot do the same mistake my parents do and I would rather kill myself than inflict that cruelty to both a future wife and child. I feel at most I would be able to hack it a few more years before I give up.If It doesn't work out I might begin preperations for suicide, If I don't have a beautiful life I at least wish to have a beautiful death.
I chief error, I think I have is, that I cannot hide my emotions or lie, and while people might belive this is a virture, It is more of a disability. I'am an only son and in a lot of ways I feel cursed by my father.
9 months ago
Anonymous
I'm from a fricked up family too, parents divorced at 8, rarely saw my father growing up.
This however has had no negative effect on my view of relationships. And my mother was a literal virgin and they met in church btw. Maybe that's why I don't DEMAND a virgin waifu. Cause at the end of the day they're all women.
You're not guaranteeing yourself some naïve maiden just by bagging a virgin.
>I desire love and healthy offpsring, and a stable relationship is paramount to both of those
And what if I tell you you will have none of it, if you continue to look at the situation as you do now? I can already tell you that perfection is your enemy. Would you hold the same standard for your children? Do they get to frick up or do you disavow them for it, proclaim that they are not worth the trouble?
You talking about suicide is a fricking massive red flag. Imagine some woman being with you while knowing that you would kys if she ever left or find out she once fricked a guy while interning in Europe or whatever.
All I can tell you is to stop demanding (near) perfect things for your life. Cause if you do you'll have one of the saddest lives ever that ends up with you roping yourself.
For me? I'm also in my late 20's but I have been in a relationship before. I know what to expect with women, I've turned a lot of them down and now I think I might have found a good one. Not perfect, but one where I can see myself starting a family and making great memories with. Beats roping myself, no?
9 months ago
Anonymous
Agree completely with this guy. At the end of the day, you have to just choose if you want to play the cards you’re dealt even if it’s not a very good hand. Maybe you can make the most of it, but definitely not if you never play your hand. If you never play your hand it’s just…nothing.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Mine split when I was 3, I have no memory of them ever being together, and my father never really spoke to me, we only met during christmas and birthdays for a few hours. My mom also left me with my grandmother up until I was like 10 I believe after the divorce, they were both very young when they married.
I don't know why you keep insisting I deman perfection, I simply ask for a partner with similar views on love and the importance of two people coming together, the fact that wishing for a woman whom doesn't spend her time in debasement is some sort of unicorn is depressing.
And no, I belive spilling my guts near a river up in the mountains is preferable to 'settling' for someone or worse someone 'settling' for me....
Well, I would say that first of all you can have love. I just don’t know that you can have it forever, not from a wife. And I don’t know that’s what you should be after in the first place. I think to love a wife most and to love most of all love from a wife is a recipe for disaster. There has to be something higher for you than that. As for inflicting pain on a future wife, that’s as simple as being a good husband. Don’t cheat. Don’t divorce. If she ends the marriage, which is statistically likelier, that’s not you inflicting pain on her. It’s her inflicting pain on herself, which you simply cannot help to a certain degree. As for the children, that’s more difficult, but again, you can be a good father. You can’t hope to have a world where nobody can ever do harm to your kids. The world just isn’t like that. At some level, you have to accept that kids can get hurt and damaged and though you have an obligation to try and prevent it, you can never prevent that absolutely. That’s just how life is. I think there are things you can do to minimize fallout and damage to yourself, to your wife, and to your kids in the event of divorce. It will never be perfect, but you just have to accept that perfect was never an option. A long time ago, if you married, there was a high chance your wife and kids would die in childbirth and as infants and there was absolutely nothing you could do about it. This is just how things are. You can accept them and move ahead with it anyway, which I think is right, or you can shy away from it, which I think is a terrible mistake. Your life is going to end one day, whether you want it to or not. Do you want it to end knowing you shied away from everything because of a little risk or do you want it to end knowing that you took it by the horns? In my mind, the latter is not only the spiritually emotionally correct choice, but the logical one too. There is no logical reason not to choose it.
Putting it like this makes it an easy choice, as what you're asking is If I wish to spawn more suffering and uglyness in the world or not, and the answer is quite an easy one. The only thing I would fear is with time I will for sure sucumb to bitterness, envy and hatred, which is why I'm giving myself around 5 more years to find someone, and If not, I will attempt a beautiful death, splitting my veins near a river up in the mountains, surrounded by nature, blood nourishing the ground and spilling into the river, the return.
Although these words sting me as I do really wish to find love in humankind. I think of Goethe's Faust often and how Gretchen redeems and saves Faust with her love.
9 months ago
Anonymous
If you experience your life as literally nothing but suffering and ugliness and you are assuming it would necessarily be the same for your off-spring, you’re just making a baseless assumption. There is no rational reason to accept that.
FWIW, no one will find that death beautiful and once you shit yourself, the bloat sets in, and the coyotes and fly larvae find the body, it will actually be pretty horrifically ugly.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Also, the Virgin Mary, angels, and Gretchen’s immortal soul save Faust, not a created human woman. The point is that Faust is redeemed by the divine feminine, not the human feminine.
9 months ago
Anonymous
And all of that is only possible because of the relationship they had on earth. His soul would have not been saved if not for their relationship on earth.
Would you settle for a virgin but someone who is really fat?
What about a virgin who is 20 cm taller than you?
One who is ugly. Like big nose or huge forehead? Does she have to be cute? Does she have to be a particular race?
Are these deal breakers or are you truly pure in your search for: >a partner with similar views on love and the importance of two people coming together
I do not know why you're obsessing over the virgin part as in a previous post I mentioned I would consider women whom have had relationships, but dissolved do to legitimate reasons.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Yeah and you’re the dumbass that’s going to avoid human relationships here on earth so you can become buzzard food instead.
9 months ago
Anonymous
A relationship that springs from polluted soil has no chance to become anything but unnecessary and pointless suffering.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Just emotionally driven polemic
9 months ago
Anonymous
A nothing reply
You didn't answer.
Answer what? Listing off random scenarios isn't a question.
You're the polluted soil.
I do no believe so.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Worthwhile women have spoken and deemed you polluted soil, incel.
9 months ago
Anonymous
So because I have a sliver of requirements and don't simply subscribe to a 'freelove' movement ,or dare to pressume some actions might have consequences, that makes me unfit for a relationship? What did I ask of that is so grand and challenging to achieve, having a degree of self respect and not falling in the pit of debasement purely ouf of blind hormone chasing or comformism? I even avoided early relationships purely on the principal that I thought it cruelty to lead on and abuse women because I found myself immature and unable to provide a foundation for something that might be one day become love and understanding. Is that what makes me a bad person, saying no to women?
9 months ago
Anonymous
If it's so easy to achieve then you'll have no problem finding that special woman. Good luck but I think you'll end up killing yourself near a river like a totally normal human being would. That for sure isn't a sign that there's something terribly wrong with you. Prime marriage material!
9 months ago
Anonymous
You're the polluted soil.
9 months ago
Anonymous
You didn't answer.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Would you settle for a virgin but someone who is really fat?
What about a virgin who is 20 cm taller than you?
One who is ugly. Like big nose or huge forehead? Does she have to be cute? Does she have to be a particular race?
Are these deal breakers or are you truly pure in your search for: >a partner with similar views on love and the importance of two people coming together
9 months ago
Anonymous
Well, I would say that first of all you can have love. I just don’t know that you can have it forever, not from a wife. And I don’t know that’s what you should be after in the first place. I think to love a wife most and to love most of all love from a wife is a recipe for disaster. There has to be something higher for you than that. As for inflicting pain on a future wife, that’s as simple as being a good husband. Don’t cheat. Don’t divorce. If she ends the marriage, which is statistically likelier, that’s not you inflicting pain on her. It’s her inflicting pain on herself, which you simply cannot help to a certain degree. As for the children, that’s more difficult, but again, you can be a good father. You can’t hope to have a world where nobody can ever do harm to your kids. The world just isn’t like that. At some level, you have to accept that kids can get hurt and damaged and though you have an obligation to try and prevent it, you can never prevent that absolutely. That’s just how life is. I think there are things you can do to minimize fallout and damage to yourself, to your wife, and to your kids in the event of divorce. It will never be perfect, but you just have to accept that perfect was never an option. A long time ago, if you married, there was a high chance your wife and kids would die in childbirth and as infants and there was absolutely nothing you could do about it. This is just how things are. You can accept them and move ahead with it anyway, which I think is right, or you can shy away from it, which I think is a terrible mistake. Your life is going to end one day, whether you want it to or not. Do you want it to end knowing you shied away from everything because of a little risk or do you want it to end knowing that you took it by the horns? In my mind, the latter is not only the spiritually emotionally correct choice, but the logical one too. There is no logical reason not to choose it.
A huge regret of mine is not realizing how important your first choice of major and career is. To some degree, you’re always going to be what you chose no matter what. Bankers will always be bankers, even when they join faculty and serve in congress. Soldiers will always be soldiers, even when they write books and start businesses. This is just how it is, and so to have chosen something regrettable is terrible.
Personally, I think we should marry and have kids like our ancestors did, but not keep up hope for a traditional submissive virgin. We need to understand how women are, not get too attached, guard ourselves, and make try e best with it that we can.
And there are certain strategies you can employ. For example, have kids as soon as you marry because if you get 18 years of marriage for the kid’s sake, you’ll be lucky. Hide your assets. Put them in family’s name if you have to.
I am an atheist who desperately wishes to believe in Catholicism. The big thing holding me back is the problem of evil. I've always heard God lets bad things happen to good people because he wanted us to love him with free will. But this doesn't make sense to me. Didn't God create free will? Why couldn't he make it possible to do that with no risk of bad things happening? Like if he's really omnipotent and benevolent, shouldn't he be able to give us free will without the possibility of bad outcomes?
It's not about loving him so much as loving others. Suffering is the opportunity for compassion. You couldn't help bear another's suffering out of love for them, and nobody would have kids as a consequence. You're asking to give up your duty to others.
>How can I feel someone else's pain when nobody has ever felt any?
Uh if you're only into being compassionate when other people are happy and not when they're sad, I think you might be a bad person, anon. Idk if any religion solves that.
9 months ago
Anonymous
My point is, if God is omnipotent, he could create good without bad. We could be compassionate, have free will, love, all that jazz without the possibility of evil. If thats not possible, then God is not omnipotent. If it is, and he just chose not to, then God is not benevolent.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Think about that. Sure, he could’ve created only good, but then you wouldn’t have free will. You’d be less than an animal and more like mindless automaton slave at worst. Would that be “good”?
Your question makes NO SENSE.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>Sure, he could’ve created only good, but then you wouldn’t have free will.
If god is omnipotent, couldn't he do both? Give me free will but also only create good? If you say no, then god is limited in some way and is not omnipotent.
9 months ago
Anonymous
I really don’t know what you’re not understanding about this. It is a NONSENSE question. It is quite literally incoherent. If evil is the absence of good, the not good, if bad is the not good what does it mean to ask “could good just have been not good”. That is a meaningless question. Those words don’t refer to real ideas.
9 months ago
Anonymous
I am saying that an omnipotent God would not be bound by our linguistics, our logic. There's no reason he couldn't give us free will without any of the negative consequences.
9 months ago
Anonymous
He’s not. You, a human, asked another human, a nonsense, incoherent question that cannot be answered by me in human language. That is not a judgement of God’s ability, but rather ours. Why should there be a coherent answer to an incoherent question? That makes no sense. It’s no different than you scribbling a bunch of nonsense symbols on a sheet and going “solve this math equation”.
9 months ago
Anonymous
hmmm. I guess if God is omnipotent, he could allow evil and still be benevolent. Is that kinda what you're saying?
9 months ago
Anonymous
No, I’m not. I’m saying that you are failing to distinguish between words and the things which words refer to, and so your questions are incoherent and not really questions. It’s not a matter of God being able to able to somehow overcome a negative predicate; but rather that the question cannot even reasonably be asked. If I asked “can God make true not true?” the question could never be answered in the affirmative or the negative because the question is incoherent. It fails to really posit a question. So when we talk about God overcoming these positive-negative predicate relationships, communication has already broken down.
9 months ago
Anonymous
No, I’m not. I’m saying that you are failing to distinguish between words and the things which words refer to, and so your questions are incoherent and not really questions. It’s not a matter of God being able to able to somehow overcome a negative predicate; but rather that the question cannot even reasonably be asked. If I asked “can God make true not true?” the question could never be answered in the affirmative or the negative because the question is incoherent. It fails to really posit a question. So when we talk about God overcoming these positive-negative predicate relationships, communication has already broken down.
“True” and “not true” are mutually exclusive concepts. They cannot conceivably overlap. Some thing cannot possibly be both “true” and “not true” at the same time. So if a hypothetical thing is said to be both “true” and also said to be “not true”, which this hypothetical thing would be in the case where I ask if God can make some thing true and not true, I’m not really using words to refer to any real concept. They’re meaningless words. The worlds are literally without meaningless. So there’s no real question to answer.
9 months ago
Anonymous
God didn't create me with the ability to fly either, does that mean I have no free will?
Clearly not. Same story if I had been incapable of doing evil.
9 months ago
Anonymous
That would be omnipotence and not free will. Free describes your will and not your abilities.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>Making those women into robots was actually a good thing in Stepford Wives
Do you work for Disney or are you a less dangerous psychopath?
It’s actually very simple. God made us in His image. As a result, we have free will. Because we have free will, we can turn away from God. This is where evil comes from. There are things which are “bad” in the world, which are nonetheless not evil. Evil is specifically the result of human will. Thus, God does not will evil. We do. God only “allows” evil in so far as he allows us to have free will. As for why he allowed us to have free will, it’s so that we could restore our pact with God, something which could not be done if we did have free will. As for why He wants us to restore our pact, it’s because we are fallen as the result of our sinning in the garden, which is a matter of fact and again, was not the will of God but the will of man. And it’s important to note here, that God never allowed anything to happen which He could not fix. In allowing Adam and Eve to sin, he also let Christ redeem Adam and redeem all of us, defeating death itself. The “solution”, if you will, to the problem of God’s allowing Adam to sin is also the greatest gift, greater than the “problem” of allowing us to sin, and that’s allowing us to attain everlasting life. That redemption is the key thing. So evil is allowed, but it’s allowed because doing so allows for a far greater good, the greatest good we can possibly conceive.
If God made us, then God is at least partially responsible for what we do. And if God is omnipotent, he is 100% responsible.
Why did "death itself" need defeating in the first place? Why do we need to "restore our pact" in the first place? If he really is omnipotent, he is ultimately responsible for all the problems we need free will to solve.
>evil is allowed, but it’s allowed because doing so allows for a far greater good, the greatest good we can possibly conceive.
If God is omnipotent, why didn't he make us able to achieve the greatest possible good without evil?
That doesn’t make any sense. God doesn’t will you to evil. The idea that he’s “responsible” is an emotionally driven accusation and not a logical one. If I ask my kid what 2+2 equals and he replied 4, I allowed him to get it wrong but I’m neither responsible for his getting it wrong nor did I will him to get it wrong. You’re playing a rhetorical trick on yourself because you find it disagreeable that evil exists and expect God to just ameliorate that for you and so you find him “responsible” when He doesn’t, but the whole point is that you have the great gift of being able to ameliorate it yourself, which is most dignity a human being could possibly achieve.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>God: *creates ebola* >You: he's actually a really cool guy, you just don't get it with the emotional accusations, think about it logically dude, just because he did it and has the power to stop it doesn't mean he's responsible
9 months ago
Anonymous
Is the question “if God real, why bad thing happen”? Am I getting that right? Because the idea that God can only exist or be good if everything is always sunshine and butterflies all the time is pretty fricking stupid, my man.
9 months ago
Anonymous
No. The question is specifically, if God is real, why did he create a disease that makes you weep blood and die without dignity and in relentless agony from a billion micro-hemorrhages?
Like why did he specifically create ebola?
9 months ago
Anonymous
But that is the question. “Why does an allegedly good God allow a bad thing to exist” but I’ve already answered that question. This is a common thing with atheists. They ask a question, it gets answered, and they just ask the question again but more emotionally. Moreover, the question is framed with bad assumptions. Sickness is not a creature. The Bible contains instances of physical suffering that are caused by demons and not God.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Did god create the demons? That doesn't seem very benevolent.
9 months ago
Anonymous
He didn’t create them as demons, just like he didn’t create you as an evil person.
9 months ago
Anonymous
And an engineer doesn't create a bridge to fall down, but when they do we don't blame the bridge, we blame the engineer. God, being omnipotent, must have known they'd be demons. And being omnipotent, that means it was intentional.
9 months ago
Anonymous
A bridge falling down is not an inherent feature of being a bridge. Free will is an inherent feature of these sort of beings. You wouldn’t find an electrician culpable when you stick your finger in a socket and electrocute yourself.
9 months ago
Anonymous
No, the question is specifically why God created ebola.
No, it hasn’t. It’s been addressed for multiple millenia now. That certain “thinkers” choose to ignore the address is irrelevant. The whole point is that people have free will, both to will evil and to err. This is also a logical fallacy anyway.
>No, it hasn’t.
You're ignorant. >That certain “thinkers” choose to ignore the address is irrelevant.
I am only speaking about theologians and theists, the ones who make the apology and not the ones who refuse to accept it. These apologists have been at it for millennia now, from Augustine to Anselm to Aquinas to Leibniz to Schleiermacher to Barth to Whitehead to Farrer, and countless more, each one setting out to do apologetics, each one clearly not content that the question had been sufficiently answered.
Again, ignorant. Not the other anon by the way, my first post was about ebola. There is nothing to be gained here if you've not come further with your answer than "free will" and "demons".
9 months ago
Anonymous
This is a logical fallacy. If St. Irenaeus’ address to the “problem” of evil is misaligned with what the Church teaches, it means nothing. Nobody ever said that everything the Church fathers, saints, or any other thinker said was correct. What matters is church dogma. And moreover, think about how stupid is to looking for a response to this problem that only exists if you suppose a strawman of the actual Christian position. Think about how stupid it would be to have expected the Church fathers to have been pained to address it. It was never a “problem” until atheists convinced everyone of their strawman. Regardless, it’s resolved in Christian theology. Insisting that some thinkers missed it is not an argument.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>This is a logical fallacy
Are you deliberately trying to emulate the most obnoxious atheists? If yes, I get the bit, lay it off, if no, what fallacy?
Again, theologians of all stripes have taken it seriously. That you refuse this fact merely signals your ignorance of theological history.
That would be omnipotence and not free will. Free describes your will and not your abilities.
No, not at all. There are a range of activities possible with a human body, and there are a range of activities that are not possible. Omnipotence does not figure into it at all, just a limited set of abilities. I cannot breathe underwater, I cannot fly, I cannot conjure fire from my fingertips - these are all impossible with a human body. Nonetheless, I have a wide range of capabilities that allow me to act in certain ways, which means that we can reasonably speak of free will - I can do many things with my limited set of abilities. Likewise, had the ability to do evil been outside the scope of my abilities, as breathing underwater etc. is now, we would still be able to speak of free will.
9 months ago
Anonymous
No, appealing to some vague cohort of experts that apparently never found their answer is literally a logical fallacy. What they did or didn’t do is totally inconsequential.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Omnipotence would imply that you could make your self fly if you wanted to. Free will does not. But you admitted what I already said in your final sentence. Free will isn it absent simply because you cannot fly, just like it’s not absent if you don’t have any one of the powers of God.
9 months ago
Anonymous
And by the way, no, you are being profoundly dishonest, the problem of evil has weighed heavy on the minds of the most brilliant theologists for millennia, who took it seriously and dedicated much of their intellectual life making apologetics, it's not a stupid question by a long shot.
9 months ago
Anonymous
No, it hasn’t. It’s been addressed for multiple millenia now. That certain “thinkers” choose to ignore the address is irrelevant. The whole point is that people have free will, both to will evil and to err. This is also a logical fallacy anyway.
Think about that logically. If evil were not able to be willed, that would necessarily mean we don’t really have free will, and if we don’t really have free will we couldn’t really restore our pact with God or redeem our souls. You would miss out on the gift of everlasting life.
I love all the natural law stuff. The catholic morality makes a lot of intuitive sense to me. And I desperately crave community, but I can't bring myself to go to church and lie to them all the time about my beliefs. I want to sincerely believe, I just don't.
If catholic morality makes intuitive sense to you, you believe it to be true, and the condition of possibility for that truth is the existence of God and the truth of catholicism, hence, you already believe in God by inference.
Lrn2KantianReasoning
The question of whether you can be a believing Catholic Christian without going to church is a somewhat open one. Not going to church is not an irredeemable sin afaik. It’s up to you to reconcile whether that’s required, but it seems to me that it would be pants-on-head moronic to accept whole heartedly Catholic theology and thus Catholic dogma but then just choose arbitrarily to not go to Church even though you’re expected to. Because the thing is, it’s not really about what you want. It’s about what you’re supposed to do. Nobody ever said bring a Christian was supposed to be easy and it certainly was never supposed to be about just doing what you want. To some degree, you’re expected to do what you don’t want because it’s good and right.
You don't have to lie to people or be a hardcore ultraCatholic to go to church. You can just show up to see what it's like, or to ask the priest some questions. When I went to Divine Liturgy for the first time I hung out at the back of the chapel and just kinda watched everyone and afterwards I had a little chat with the priest and that was that, no one thought anything of it.
Atheist Black folk are always talking about God. Just shut the frick up and open a book. It's not someone's role on the internet to teach you about religion
The days seem all the same. Ctrl C + Ctrl V. I feel animals are making fun of me. "Hur dur look at me I'm a human, I work and pay taxes hur dur". What can I do?
https://time.com/6263906/taliban-afghanistan-office-work-quiet-quit/
According to people who know both worlds, the office grind is worse than sitting in a cave at war with the biggest military in the world.
I had a blue collar friend who did two tours in Afghanistan that said the same thing. He said Afghanistan was a lot better than the job site and he’s been depressed ever since he came home.
https://time.com/6263906/taliban-afghanistan-office-work-quiet-quit/
According to people who know both worlds, the office grind is worse than sitting in a cave at war with the biggest military in the world.
once again i'm stuck with having to create the things i want to read. I know, it's all good to actually like what i write, and i'm way ahead of you cause i know you're trying to figure out how to tell me my writing sucks, but honestly i'm so fricking tired. Having kids and a full time job while trying to create something that has value during the small windows of time when i don't have to do things for other people... i just wanna sit down and be entertained. But nothing fricking entertains. Which leads me back to thinking about how to write more, but the whole process of getting into the setting and all the details is so time consuming that by the time i start typing usually something else comes up and all i've done is manage to get frustrated.
But yeah, things are good overall. Thanks for being my diary. tbh.
For the duration of the pandemic I desired not only human contact but contact with people my own age. I tried going out to meet people but I saw that most public spaces were occupied by old people. I had this fantasy about a social space designed for young adults. It occured to me that universities are this space and my isolation was on account of the closing of universities. If I coulf get back to university my isolation would lift and I could meet like people. Well here I am, in university and now all I feel is crushing alienation. I dont fit in and I can't relate because everyone around me is a teenager fresh out of high school. Everyone here is living the "college experience" but after years of being independent and in the work force the "college experience" just feels like being stuck in high school again. I think people in my immediate age range got fricked over the hardest by the pandemic and this social alienation is like a bubble traveling through the bloodstream of american generations.
Doesn’t anyone feel like there is nothing to do? It seems to me like the only way to be “a man of action” so to speak today is to be a serial entrepreneur or to be a sort of institutional credential climber (get degrees, certain offices, certain credentials, etc.). Otherwise, you’re just stuck kind of wasting your days waiting for a paycheck so you can survive for no real reason. Am I projecting? I feel like I’ve had nothing in particular to do for years. Nothing has changed.
You're kind of right. A lot of modern countries are kind of settled in certain systems and ways to do things.
My advise is to move to a country that doesn't have this. A lot of African, Asian and S-American countries are fit for this.
Fair enough, but haven't you been called a homosexual or cringe or gay or whatever often enough on here that it just sorta doesn't register at this point??
9 months ago
Anonymous
yeah but typically the insults people throw at each other are based on what little they can gleam about someone based on inference from style of typing, short pieces of info, etc.
imo, the voice (especially when singing) is like a window into the soul. if someone called my soul a homosexual, with evidence to back their claim, i'd be pretty bummed
9 months ago
Anonymous
I once sang some copypasta someone wrote
I got rave reviews for my Dutch accent
https://vocaroo.com/1j32vbJamnrT
>bought a shitload of amphetamine pills this evening >going to bed with a smile on my face knowing I'll pop one right after breakfast and have a great day
God I love being a druggie.
I get it from the guy who sells me LSD. His girlfriend has ADD and jumped through all the hoops necessary to no longer get ritalin/methylphenidate (which I don't enjoy at all), but pure dextroamphetamine. She is scripted more than she needs, so they sell me the surplus.
It sort of depends on what country you are in. Some places dexedrine isn't used for ADD, only racemic ampetamine or methylphenidate. Powdered and clandestinely produced speed is widely available in european countries, but that usually sucks with an average purity of 5-10% and loads of active cuts like caffeine, that ruin it by turning the high too tense.
If dexedrine is availaible by prescription in your country, ask your dealer - it's usually not too hard to buy someone's surplus.
I'm a timid and shy and weak introvert IRL and whenever I have lustful thoughts I kind of can't imagine myself acting upon them so I project myself onto this huge dude from work who's generally a player who pumps and dumps women and breaks their hearts. I fantasize myself being him and fricking women but I can't have that same fantasy with me being myself.
Dirtman's pleasures are nonexistent, his energy naturally negative inward. "Holy shit..." That's when it was Mondo. "I'm about to go absolutely Mondo." He couldn't help dropping all of his beans. At this rate, it was too late. He saw him do it and smirked. Now "He" is Mondo Benny, reincarnated as soon as he killed the dirty man and spilled his beans. Mondo's wife cut off her hands out of fear, now he uses them to slap the dirty man for his birthday. All of this was more than I could ever hope to se. Livingg for this kind of pain was all I were cut out for.
There is nothing more for me to write. I don’t write, I just transcribe my inner monologue. The results are much worse than mediocrity, pretentiousness, and useless self-deprecation, which hides a false humility, a person who wants to be great, but is not, and has to achieve validation by exaggerated self-deprecation, so that others can correct it to the other extreme and satisfy themselves, when you know that you are of average intelligence and imagination, far beyond any ability, who cannot cope with the agony of discovering who he is, a pretense, a lifelong LARP. Living someone’s life. You must be grotesquely insane to be able to rationalize yourself as an intelligent and mature person, while writing pages, indulging in yourself, with pseudo-philosophical, quasi-avant-garde, almost poetic, almost everything but everything good, there is nothing of value. that remark, yes also full of pretense, because the idea carried is that the admission of faults redeems them.
I was raised Mormon and I've stopped believing in it. The farther away I get from it the more I realize how screwed up everything about it was.
My mother and many members of my family are really into genealogical research because in Mormon doctrine, the dead who did not receive the proper Mormon rites will not have a chance to receive the highest degree of glory in the afterlife until someone performs them in their name, by proxy. It's bizarre and ridiculous but what really gets me about it is that my mom has spent literal years of her life researching her ancestry and that of my father's extended family in order to submit the names of newly discovered ancestors to the church to have their rites performed, even though said names are actually recycled over and over and sometimes several people perform rites for the same person over a period of several years without knowing it. Not only that but there are absolutely no controls or verifying bodies making sure the "genealogy" being performed is legit; you could hop on to the system and enter Santa Claus, Darth Vader, and Giga homie 3000 as your ancestors and no one would be the wiser. Most people use scanned copies of parish records, birth records, and so on to complete family trees, but you could literally just claim to have such records in your possession and throw up random shit and no one would know or care. Dozens of people in my family wasted years of their lives on this nonsense, all to have knockoff Masonic rites performed in the names of people who may or may not have ever existed.
Another thing that gets me is that from the 70s until the 2000s or so, Mormons were strongly encouraged to have emergency food stores in their homes in order to be prepared for the Second Coming, which was said to be imminent. Families across the Mormon Belt blew thousands of dollars on everything from sacks of rice to stores of wheat to canned food, and spent more to rotate said food every once in a while when it went bad, if they were a little smarter. It's been over 40 years since that time, the Mormon authorities have quietly stopped promoting food storage, and all that food storage has by now rotted. My parents had to clean decades of waste out of my mom's parents' basement when they went into assisted living, as they had spent years canning and jarring everything not nailed to the ground until they became too old to do so anymore and everything turned into mold. Having emergency supplies is good, like for a hurricane or power outage, but this went far beyond that point.
1/2
2/2
Closely related to the food storage is the tithing Mormons are expected to pay to the church - 10% of all income. In Mormonism, if you don't pay your tithing, you can't enter Mormon temples and are thus excluded from the highest level of Mormon Heaven, even if they claim otherwise to outsiders. I can't imagine how many millions of dollars have gone to the LDS church from my family's pockets, or how much better off they could have been if they hadn't paid. My parents grew up at a time when leading Mormon authorities told members that retirement accounts, excessive savings, and the like were to be avoided as they would be unnecessary during the forthcoming Tribulation, and that the extra income should go to the church instead, and for this reason they're both struggling to make ends meet in their 50s, with maybe a 4-digit sum saved up between them and no retirement money to speak of. I have no idea what they're going to do - work until they die? hope to win the lottery? - and it's depressing to see them living like this while continuing to give money to the Mormon church every single year.
Said church, by the way, has over $140 billion in publicly-known assets, potentially up to $250 billion if the valuation of some of their land assets is to be believed, and was fined $5 million this year for hiding securities assets from the SEC through a convoluted network of 13 shell corporations. Look up Ensign Peak Advisors if you want the full story.
Anyway this is mostly just a rant slash vent post because no one I know in real life cares (and I doubt anyone on this board cares either, honestly) but I don't think I've even begun to reverse the mindfrickery that growing up in Mormonism inflicted on me and I expect to still discover ways in which it hurt me or my family for years to come.
I wrote something some time ago about a vacation. Took some time off the internet and went on a caffeine fast before writing it.
I went on a trip to a few Western states recently, at the end of which we went from Death Valley straight to Las Vegas. Death Valley was hot, dry, and almost devoid of any sign of life, and much of it was below sea level. Standing on the outstretching dunes of one location I felt like I was witnessing the foundation upon which God had set up the world. On another I saw hexagonal salt flats which seemed to separate the desert rock and sand in irregular patterns of organic wireframe.
We then drove just two hours away to the loud, garish spectacle of Las Vegas. The city that had materialized like an LED oasis out of the desert to earn synonymity with escape. The clockless casinos lined up with bright, neon slot machines manned by dead-eyed and anonymous souls in rooms filled with the smell of cigarette smoke, adjacent to opulent hotel lobbies with high ceilings fitted with ornate palatial designs, imitation-crab facades on the strip aping the style of every prominent yesteryear building so that it was as if you could wonder whether the pyramids would show up and they would pop up around the corner, an otherworldly circus and water diving show brought to life by death-defying performers in gaudy costumes, scantily clad girls in feather hats prowling a hotel front to ask for pictures while eyes are fixed upon a fountain show moving in a slavish and mechanical choreography of light and water, resembling a series of lifeless and locked geysers. Flying back home, the city glowed below like a giant circuit board, unobstructed by clouds, until the light faded and the darkness of the desert returned.
If Death Valley brought to mind the past, and Las Vegas the present, together they made me think about the future. What kind of desert or foundation for a level of yet unbuilt reality will emerge in our lifetime? And when it comes, will the power to generate worlds out of nothing be concentrated in the hands of the few who build this desert? Or will we be able to imagine worlds beyond the pleasure-oasis, beyond escaping ourselves, and live the authentic and fulfilling lives of which we were deprived in the world of the past?
I like what you wrote, and know what you mean. Nevada is a very strange place, and the contrast between the total stillness of the desert to the chaos of Vegas feels very surreal.
huh
I don't understand posters like this. Do you just not understand or are you genuinely stupid?
I've noticed in the last year or so my writing has gotten worse. In emails I'll often forget suffixes like -ed or -ing. I used "is" to refer to a plural noun today. I never used to be this way. What does it mean?
These sort of generic middle class white collar administration jobs are basically career suicide. They’re worse than bartending. At least bartenders get elected to congress.
How do I get over the mindset that I'm debasing myself by pursuing girls/putting myself out there? Or even in general I'm debasing myself by presenting myself in a specific way online or irl. I just feel as if I'm debasing myself I can't really describe it. Like I would be debasing myself if I made a goodreads or made a chart for a chart thread on any board. Anything to do with curating an identity I instinctively feel contempt and disgust for. But imo Isn't doing those things necessary to find a girl. I can't exactly just be a freak with no socials/ online presence/ no phone etc and just read all day, and pursue my interests and ever expect to find a girl. I'm just sick of being alone.
Sounds like you were bullied in middle school and now you're fixated on keeping up appearances and not losing face to the point where it's preventing you from showing any voulenrability which interferes with romantic function
Don't let it go too far or you'll be paying women to tie you up and make fun of your penis
Just had a date with said mestizo.
Almost like I was being pranked. She wants a homestead, likes a traditional man, wants many kids, has been in only one relationship 6 years ago and she's slightly more light skinned than the pictures showed.
Now just hope she's not crazy in some other way but I'll find that out soon.
Anyone else feel stuck in a dead end life? I have a shitty remote job, no obvious thing to leave to go do, nowhere in particular to go or live, and I’m old enough that I feel like it’s too late to really get on the right track.
>remote job
if i was a young, single guy with a remote job i'd probably go live somewhere in latin america for cheap. it's really easy to get residency and even citizenship in a lot of those countries.
Thinking of going to some kind of dominatrix/mistress type prostituerte and get her to tie me up and beat the shit outta me and make fun of my penis
Maybe that'd get it out of my system
You are alone, you have nobody but yourself and this is what haunts you. But is it actually a problem?. I'm starting to see this from another perspective and history has showed me that loneliness is less hostile than it seems. What good does company bring forth if it can result in a negative experience?. Plenty of my fondest memories were by myself in a state of serenity.
My desire and my will are dull and limited. My life revolves around base consumption. Limited, routine, and empty the days pass by me.
There is no content to life or to my character. Easy compliance is my only defining personality trait, underneath only the fear of reprisal.
Others always remain other, exterior, to me.
My indifference to others is really a form of self-deceit. I am really extremely sensitive to the opinion of others because I lack self confidence, and so try to prevent the possibility of negative judgment from occuring.
I do not connect. Even when the other believes he's found a connection to me, is bonding, he is deluded.
Reciprocity is the base of everything but i don't internalize it. I feel vaguely the natural obligation to return a favor, but don't reciprocate out of fear I'm not sure of what.
All i look forward to these days is coffee, food, and on my days off alcohol.
Life should be more, or I should make more of it, but my indolence is all encompassing.
I do not know where I stand or where I'm going.
I'm going to have to figure some kind of way of conceiving of myself and my future witout her. It's been a while but I still think about her a lot, and it only really occurs to me now: I have to be something without her. It isn't really.. I mean it might matter to me, but it shouldn't be critical to what I am whatever went down between us, there should be a me that doesn't have to be stuck in this anymore.
Madness is an enviable freedom when you think about it. Despite the afflictions of the delusional, they have managed to escape the game entirely, even if only by retreating within and denying the world.
If you can see life from without you get tired of playing cause now you can see from without it's just a game..
Monopoly money or new player pieces. New expanses that are just re-formations of the old. Different superficial signals we invent or spend half our waking existence seeking. We don't get beyond it. How can men dedicate themselves to these things?
There are two kinds of adults that can escape from playing, the uber rich and the mad. The former is foreclosed to most people, and most rich people being uncreative, choose to keep playing anyway--keep hoarding trinkets or founding new companies. To keep signaling superiority or find new ways to display being on the top.
The mad are genuinely free in a way no one else can be. Free from the constraint of custom, convention, and status considerations.
Secretly we envy the freedom of the mad, in the same way we envy children's freedom. That envy can't be publicly, explicitly acknowledged without revealing the sickening mundane and unsatisfactory realities of normal life.
If a crazie wants he can roll around on the floor, or jerk off publicly, can you say the same?
Though they face the consequences from the other players, only the mad get to flip the board. We're stuck playing
Perhaps mental illness itself is caused by that desire for a total freedom which cannot be enjoyed in reality. Or conversely the total lack of freedom in real life.
it's more like "you still have to make your way in the world but none of your strategies or what you are expending energy on really makes any sense." Like, your world is still firmly constrained by a set or rules, but those rules aren't adapted to anything.
>but those rules aren't adapted to anything
In a way that's freedom Your own rules in your head don't match the rules of reality or society. You are not constrained.
Anyways I was being somewhat coy/facetious. If it didn't come through in the text that's my bad.
I really dislike this Deleuzian-Guattarian take.
Yes, people in the unfathomable depth of a psychotic episode are freed from all bounds of social convention and common sense. So is a wild animal. Speaking of freedom in this regard is a profound misunderstanding of what is desirable about freedom.
>I really dislike this Deleuzian-Guattarian take
Never read him, these are my own thoughts.
I actually work at a crisis center lol,
The anger my (half joking) post is arising though is starting to convince me that I'm on to something.
>Never read him, these are my own thoughts.
Sure thing - if you're interested, you can read them for an expansion of that take. Or someone like Laing (who writes much more clearly) or Foucault, who go for somewhat similar claims and run with them. The idea that madness can be an escape from the snaring confines of bourgeois morality was quite popular with the counter-culture of the 60's and 70's - and I'll agree there is some modicum of truth to it, but only a modicum.
I very recently started doing research in psychiatry myself, with a bit of clinical work as well. I get the impulse, I really do: there is something about that terrible idiocosmos of madness that can seem seductive and liberating, but I really am loath to call it freedom. Psychotics are usually governed by much more cruel, fickle and imposing rules than what common sense and social convention demands of the sane. The madman does not roll around the floor jerking off because he wants to - he will usually do so because he feels compelled to by incommunicable and apocalyptic forces entirely outside of his control.
I've never met a schizophrenic who cut up his own face, stabbed himself, or ate nails because he wanted to. I have met quite a few who did so because they thought the universe would end if they didn't.
9 months ago
Anonymous
Have no interest in reading grungy hippies.
But yes on that claim I agree with them based on my own observations, not that the mad are necessarily free in an actual sense, but that the disgust people express towards addicts and insane people is also a secret expression of jealousy for their unboundedness.
The piss-soaked girl in a onesie I admitted the other day is more free than me. She does not have to come in every day to the same boring job. She gets to walk around dazed in a piss soaked onesie.
9 months ago
Anonymous
How are addicts free?
9 months ago
Anonymous
Same way deeze nutz are free; by not wearing underwear
9 months ago
Anonymous
Alright, was hoping for some sincerity
9 months ago
Anonymous
They can walk around in a piss soaked onsie.
9 months ago
Anonymous
The fact that you work in a crisis center or whatever is a travesty
9 months ago
Anonymous
most nurses etc are pieces of shit welcome to real world
it's more like "you still have to make your way in the world but none of your strategies or what you are expending energy on really makes any sense." Like, your world is still firmly constrained by a set or rules, but those rules aren't adapted to anything.
like, for instance, I'm about to check in with a moroccan guy who's in jail in Indonesia. He is in jail because he overstayed his visa. Why did he go to Indonesia? Because he believes that a "machine" whic has been sugically inserted into his face to facilitate his breathing (this is true) is being used by some entity to inert vaious people and their personalities into his mind, trying to control him and make him do things and so on (this is probably psychosis: my theory is that he is psychotic due to exposure to chemicals while he worked as a barber). He went to Indonesia hoping that they would help him remove the machine. What do I have to do with this? I payed for the trip, and I feel I have a responsibility for him. Why did I pay for the trip? Because I thought that it was what God wanted, and I thought that his story was credible because I also feel there is some kind of lateral movement between my own personality and the personalities of others; or at least I sometimes do, and I did. So I'm out about 1400$ trying to please God based on psychosis; and he's in jail half-way across the world because psychosis. Neither of us is "winning" by jerking off on the bus.
I really dislike this Deleuzian-Guattarian take.
Yes, people in the unfathomable depth of a psychotic episode are freed from all bounds of social convention and common sense. So is a wild animal. Speaking of freedom in this regard is a profound misunderstanding of what is desirable about freedom.
im going to tell you the truth about madness as someone who had a psychotic episode. Its the scariest thing in the world. No "freedom", just a cold sweat and extreme paranoia. Just seeing patterns in things that arent really there. there is no freedom when you feel as if you lost control of reality and there are outside entities trying to control and harass you
i was researching the idea of "unity of opposites" and came to the conclusion you could see it in everything from the sun and moon forming an eclipse, to the yin and yang, to the snake eating its tail
then i started seeing patterns in music and albums involving the moon and the sun and thought i had come across some sort of hidden competition between the races through music
The rusted chains of prison moons
Are shattered by the sun
I walk a road horizons change
The tournament's begun
theres a lot more that involves satan, gang stalking, sigils, david bowie, and buddha but im too tired to write it, just ended up at a psych ward twice and was diagnosed as a schizo, now i have to get a shot once a month
9 months ago
Anonymous
oh yeah, also i can rationalize everything away, but the one thing i could never understand was when youtube started talking to me though thumb nails on the front page. everytime i refreshed it was about satan or mocking me lol
9 months ago
Anonymous
Did you notice the psychotic episode coming or it just happened out of nowhere?
According to the mechanic, another new fight club rule is that fight club will always be free. It will never cost to get in. The mechanic yells out the driver’s window into the oncoming traffic and the night wind pouring down the side of the car: "We want you, not your money.”
The mechanic yells out the window, "As long as you’re at fight club, you’re not how much money you’ve got in the bank. You’re not your job. You’re not your family, and you’re not who you tell yourself.”
The mechanic yells into the wind, "You’re not your name.”
A space monkey in the back seat picks it up: "You’re not your problems.”
The mechanic yells, "You’re not your problems.”
A space monkey shouts, "You’re not your age.”
The mechanic yells, "You’re not your age.”
Here, the mechanic swerves us into the oncoming lane, filling the car with headlights through the windshield, cool as ducking jabs. One car and then another comes at us head-on screaming its horn and the mechanic swerves just enough to miss each one.
Headlights come at us, bigger and bigger, horns screaming, and the mechanic cranes forward into the glare and noise and screams, "You are not your hopes.”
No one takes up the yell.
This time, the car coming head-on swerves in time to save us.
Another car comes on, headlights blinking high, low, high, low, horn blaring, and the mechanic screams, "You will not be saved.”
The mechanic doesn’t swerve, but the head-on car swerves.
Another car, and the mechanic screams, "We are all going to die, someday.”
This time, the oncoming car swerves, but the mechanic swerves back into its path. The car swerves, and the mechanic matches it, head-on, again.
You melt and swell at that moment. For that moment, nothing matters. Look up at the stars and you’re gone. Not your luggage. Nothing matters. Not your bad breath. The windows are dark outside and the horns are blaring around you. The headlights are flashing high and low and high in your face, and you will never have to go to work again.
You will never have to get another haircut.
"Quick,” the mechanic says.
The car swerves again, and the mechanic swerves back into its path.
"What,” he says, "what will you wish you’d done before you died?”
With the oncoming car screaming its horn and the mechanic so cool he even looks away to look at me beside him in the front seat, and he says, "Ten seconds to impact.
>took a constipated shit >straining and painful >first turd finally comes out >shape and size of a tennis ball, rock solid >apparently the tennis ball turd was blocking everything else >as soon as it is out, it was like I was turning over a bucket full of small rocks that just fell out of my ass
God that felt so good. Y'know, I'll never understand anti-natalists. They'll kwetch about pain and suffering, but the pleasure I get after just a single constipated shit outranks all their suffering in the utilitarian calculus. They just need to learn how to appreciate the little things, y'know.
Oh yeah, the empty feeling when you diarrhead all over the toiler for 30 minutes is bliss.
Earbuds in for some music, playing solitaire while cleansing your ass out.
Life's simple pleasures.
I'm too far gone. I don't think my mother will ever feel like a mother in my presence again. The child that I was has been dead for a long time. I'm an empty husk, wearing the face of man, wandering away—Always away from the ones who knew me, to the point that I could be truly dead and things wouldn't change in the slightest for my loved ones.
They already know all of this but we still play that game. They'll jokingly call me 'the Legend'— as in the person they see once or twice every 3 years— and I'll just smile politely. Right now I am so remote from any lifeform that I could entertain a criminal life and no one would notice. No one can notice if they never see you.
Sometimes, Alaska sits in the water with her knees to her breasts. The canal that flows past the street is shallow, only covering her feet and bum. The other day, she was sitting there in a summer dress, making pouty faces when people were around, but then making duck faces by herself. I saw her do that because I check on her from time to time by looking out my window from my house to make sure she's okay. She's not out there right now, but I wonder why she does that and if she'll be back. Right now, I'm cooking a four course meal for myself, because I don't know how to meal prep. I got a lasagna, a pizza, a rotisserie chicken, and a plastic box of assorted fruits and veggies. If she comes back out, I'm gonna ask her out. I'll make sure to wear my swimtrunks, or she will probably think I'm not serious.
i have thoughts of killing people and i feel like such a gay for it. my cortisol is like skyrocketing all the time, I've been binge drinking more and it shows on my skin, I look like some shit is rotting inside me
>I've been binge drinking more and it shows on my skin, I look like some shit is rotting inside me
been there, wondered what mysterious reason might have been happening to the fact that my skin started to look horrible, never finding the ability to blame my wonderful happy water that makes life bearable, to this day I find the necessity to blame other things that weren't alcohol on my skin becoming so fricking terrible. It wasn't that, it made me happy, there must have been some other reason.
Drink more water and stop hating yourself bro.
Way more water than you think. Your piss should be almost as clear as water at all times. If you're pissing yellow more often than first thing in the morning, you're not optimally hydrated.
Literally the easiest and most effective way to get better skin.
My roommate and I have decided that enough is enough, we need to evict our third roommate. She’s not on the lease, so we’re going to give her notice that she needs to move out by the end of September. She has no real choice but to leave, but if she refuses we’ll have to go through the whole process of getting our landlord’s permission to change the locks. No doubt she’s going to do everything in her power to make us miserable over the next month though. I’m dreading it.
A bunch of things. She’s basically been bullying us, making nasty comments, and making us walk on eggshells for months. She has unreasonable standards about dishes—like we all generally clean up after ourselves and are pretty tidy, but she’ll get all curt and angry if she sees even a single water glass left on the counter—and she gets all hostile and agressive if she sees either of us in the common areas and will start muttering curse words. She gets upset about us leaving our bedrooms at night to go to the bathroom because she claims the sound of us quietly opening and closing the bathroom door wakes her up. Most recently she broke a small appliance that belonged to me and has refused to replace it or pay me back.
I just read that Lysenko insisted that cuckoo's come into existence via metamorphosis, when a regular non-cuckoo bird is fed hairy caterpillars while it's very young. He didn't even fricking know that the cuckoo lays it's eggs in other birds nests.
If his wife bore him a completely black son, he would probably insist it was because she had eaten some chocolate during pregnancy.
Soviet science really is profoundly moronic. I didn't know much about it before reading up on it, but apparently, Lysenkoism wasn't just theoretical idiocy, it caused millions of russian death via famine once applied, and is widely considered to be a great contributor to the great chinese famine of 1959-1962 that killed between 15 and 55 million people, along with the Great Leap Forward.
Meanwhile, the soviets executed some 3000 biologists who weren't lysenkoists for the crime of not being moronic.
God commies suck so fricking hard.
You can choose almost nothing in life, choice itself is largely antithetical the the nature of the universe. You WILL be born. You WILL suffer. You WILL die even if you cling to life. You WILL be harmed and watch your body and very consciousness decay as you slowly creep towards the grave. You will NOT avoid this. You will NOT live forever. Your life will NOT be pleasurable for even remotely fair. You WILL produce more sufferers through sexual relations. You WILL put them through the same problems of human life as you did. You WILL force their eyes open to the abject horror of nature. You WILL watch as they become desensitized to the cosmic terror of existence. You WILL indoctrinate them into your coping mechanism of choice. You WILL die and abandon them to brave the terror forced onto them alone. You will NOT be wealthy or lucky enough to insulate them from even a fraction of life's ills and woes. They WILL do the same as you did.
Girl seemed obviously uncomfortable on our third date and I just plowed through and ignored it, she showed up 15 mins late and I had already downed two old fashioneds. The friend who set us up invited us both out clubbing the weekend before and I ended up spending the night at her apartment making out but she didn’t want to frick. She seemed into it then, but I came on too strong on the next date and autistically ignored that she was clearly stressed and not into it. When she left I texted her to ask if I could come over, she ignored it and next morning said she had to pack, I asked to come over again that evening and now she’s left the country for two months and has blocked my number. Tonight I jerk offd and asked out another girl.
Doing my university mandated sexual violence training. These girls are talking about how their bf's would sexually abuse them. It's so hot bros, I am rock hard right now
I just returned home from a month long stay in Berlin doing a photography project with some trendy art school types. The absolute phenotype for the sort of wannabe bohemians that get mocked here.
Well on the train home i run into this guy from technical collage. We chat for for less then a 2 minutes as i had to be off, but he seems friendly, and invites me out for a drink. I say yes, hell why not catch up. It's been a while.
I show up to the bar and immediately realize my mistake. The guy is on his 6 beer and and is just ranting at strangers about nothing. We sit down and the only thing he care about is weed and sex. Nothing else i bring up even elicits a response while he elaborates on the long list of hookers and he fricked , and how their pussy tasted. And you know i try not to be a snob, i join in, i make similar comments, i tell him about the weird polygamous stuff going on in Berlin, but i can feel that small town stupidity radiating off of him. The drugs , the alcohol that can make some people more fun or interesting is here just a thick haze choking the life out me. And it's not like he is a failure, he's done well for himself, i think he manages some large department sore chain or whatever. Still i got home and immediately messaged my Berlin art hoe friends.
Blogging should be banned. We should also enforce mandatory reading and sleeping, like we did in elementary school.
Is the wall pressing charges? Because daaaamn did it get hit!
The musk of a woman's unwashed ass is one of the finest sensuous pleasures of this life. Spreading a woman's cheeks in doggystyle and catching a whiff of that animal aroma truly has a more profound effect on the mind than a breakthrough dosage of DMT. One must keep this in mind when selecting a mate - women who are too hygienic are robbing man of one of life's finest joys through their insecurity.
>Mandagory sleeping
I didn't even experience this in kindergarten. Never got where people got this from.
Last night I had a dream with very clear symbolism.
Disturbingly clear symbolism.
>I didn't even experience this in kindergarten. Never got where people got this from.
You probably went to some Amerimutt school.
I went to an Amerimutt school and I had nap time in Kindergarten. I didn't like it, I was never tired, and this one girl would bully me.
Why do you see something that confuses you and immediately think "must be American."
Because Amerimutts don't do anything except work and consoom. They probably don't realise children need naps for their brain development. Kek.
And people say Americans are ignorant
People don’t just say that. They KNOW that. Unless you went to Ivy League, you belong to 99% of Americans who have never had an education.
And you think our kindergartens dont have nap time. Ignorant
Mexican actually. And regardless, what's the point of forcing kids to nap?
>You WILL sleep one extra hour a day even though you still want to play, little child. And you WILL like it
nice blog post homosexual
I just want to write my novel so bad. I am hitting a wall, and it feels like words just won't come out. I fricking hate this feeling
I find myself in a similar state, though more so in writing anything past mere scribbles. I craft these mere tendrils of what I want to say, held together with duct tape and baling wire, only for my confidence in it to collapse as soon as it's forced to stand on its own. I just wish it would end soon. I wish not to submit myself into a sterile life, but I fail to see any alternatives that present themselves. I wish you luck in being able to write, anon, and escape this feeling with at least the knowledge of how to cut the roots out if they linger.
The Sally Rooney thread has me thinking about the physiognomy of writers and how it affects their oeuvre.
Most sci-fi writers, until fairly recently, have been middle aged, pudgy, nerdy men. Yet how many works feature a cool character who sleeps with a girl at least half his age? A few examples: Ringworld, Neuromancer, Snow Crash, Reality Dysfunction.
Most, but not all, Nihilist or Existentialist writers have been butt ugly or awkward men. Sartre, Schopenhauer, Ligotti, Lovecraft, etc.
Both Austen and Charlotte Brontë were plain women who never married, who wrote about plain women who married men who were financially above them, as if they needed the escape. Sally Rooney seems to be headed in that direction.
You really are here forever huh
Perhaps this is the inner troony in me. But I often feel as if God has overlooked the creation of man in terms of beauty and aesthetics.
I often find this true in how modern society views men as the utilitarian sex. In where it is muscles and the aesthetic of masculinity that makes a man attractive. But even with that, you don't really call a man beautiful.
On the other hand, a woman's beauty is overwhelmingly apparent in society. Where most men are just "some guy", a woman, as said in the meme of a beautiful cashier at Mcdonald's, can appear anywhere and is bountiful. Weather muscular, skinny, curvy, etc. A woman's existence is beauty. Whereas a man's beauty, when it comes to feminine traits, are seen as flaws and justification for ridicule. There is simply no room to find men pretty.
I wish I was beautiful.
>A woman's existence is beauty. Whereas a man's beauty, when it comes to feminine traits, are seen as flaws and justification for ridicule. There is simply no room to find men pretty.
Hallyu is progressively destroying your worldview and it is a horror you will wish you hadn't wished for
Americanism will destroy your mind faster
Where do you think they got the idea? Their entire international power structure is based on seeing the ad campaign for Jurassic Park
Bro theres so many "just some woman" out there. You just dont notice them.
The thing is that women just "are". Their existence is the beauty, which is why men will become psychopathic for some girl. The same is not done for men because men do not have the crafted beauty given by god. Which is why men have more muscles and more driven to work. Because the male gender is the workhorse. Women, on the other hand, are art.
>Hallyu
Koreans? Well Koreans are more open to the feminine man, to the extent where, facially anyways, the distiction between a man and a woman can be difficult.
But I would say that these men, even at peak beauty, are still seen as men. Workhorse actors. Just look at the difference between how people talk about male and female Korean stars. One is spoken of in adoration, the other as a thing to conquer and preserve.
>the other as a thing to conquer and preserve.
Uh... Did you miss the EXO Chen protests?
>usnlikable
What did DFW mean by this?
Couldn't be a legit typo right?
I'm so bored. I don't want to play any games, I don't want to jack off, I don't want to watch Youtube, I don't want to watch a movie, I don't want to read, I don't want to watch a TV show and I don't want to listen to an audiobook. I just don't know what to do.
Are you NEET?
Cause if you're working you should easily be able to fill in the free time with things you like.
>Are you NEET?
Yes, but I have money so your other point doesn't really make sense.
The point wasn't about money.
People who are noobs at being NEET often get bored.
just be alone with your thoughts until you realize what consumer dystopia on its last legs we live in
I don't care about what sort of world we live in, to be honest.
>Wake up really early to "have more time"
>Don't know what to do
Read homie.
I learned a whole language over 2 years waking an hour before the wife and kids.
>the wife and kids.
Yuck.
Cope b***h
Are you seriously trying to argue that a wife and kids are a good thing?
If you need to pretend like they aren't so you don't feel like your life is a waste, go right ahead
I genuinely can't think of any pros, only cons.
I'm not that anon, but I also have a wife and kids, and I love them dearly. Have you considered the possibility that what's not right for you could be fantastic for someone else? What if the journey that shaped your worldview is not the complete summation of human experience?
>Have you considered the possibility that what's not right for you could be fantastic for someone else?
This is a good point. I still don't see any pros though.
>What if the journey that shaped your worldview is not the complete summation of human experience?
I think it's impossible to have a complete human experience.
Well there you have it. I can imagine the types of things that occur in life that make someone not want to have a family. Wether it bothers you or not, I'm sorry that's been your experience.
I don't think there's been anything in my life that would put me off of having a family, I just like to look at things logically and break them down and when I do that, I can't see any pros to having a family.
I don't smoke but I'm more than happy just to jerk off till I die, yeah.
Thanks for taking yourself out of the gene pool.
Explain why it's a good thing that I did.
Because you come across as a gay.
What do your parents think of you living alone?
>Because you come across as a gay.
I'm straight.
>What do your parents think of you living alone?
I currently live with my mum but I don't see why she'd care about me living by myself, honestly, she'd probably prefer it if I lived by myself because I'm very particular about how I like things and she knows that I like being alone.
What did you want me to write? You asked a simple question and I gave you a simple answer.
>I currently live with my mum
Ok yeah you're coping in a massive way
You're living with mommy.
You're barely even a man. Obviously you don't see the benefits in starting a family. How old are you?
>How old are you?
twenty, I guarantee I'm more mature than you though.
>You're living with mommy.
Yes, my country is currently going through a rental crisis, I don't think I could move out if I wanted to.
Do tell me how you think you're more mature than me.
Have you ever had to take care of yourself? Do you have a job or income (not moronbux from the state).
Have you ever had a relationship with a woman?
Tell me where you outshine me in maturity.
>Have you ever had to take care of yourself? Do you have a job or income
I have in the past.
>Have you ever had a relationship with a woman?
Yes.
I know I'm more mature than you based off this
reply alone. I asked you to give me a reason as to why you think it's good that I got myself out of the gene pool and all you could do was throw a slur at me because you had no real answer.
It wasn't just a slur.
If you're autistic and want me to spell it out for you: it has to do with your way of thinking.
Autistic, replying with 'yuck' when someone mentions his wife and kids.
You come across as a spaz.
And you have not demonstrated how you're more mature in the slightest. Or does going 'yuck' imply a mature response?
>And you have not demonstrated how you're more mature in the slightest.
I literally did in my reply but you don't want to accept it.
>Or does going 'yuck' imply a mature response?
It doesn't but one immature reply doesn't make me less mature than you.
>It wasn't just a slur.
If you're autistic and want me to spell it out for you: it has to do with your way of thinking.
If that was the case then you would've explained it in your reply instead of making bullshit up to try and save face.
>It doesn't but one immature reply doesn't make me less mature than you.
It does.
Your immature reply was to something extremely normal (someone mentions wife and kids).
Mine was in response to some anti-social autist arguing with people about how family is yucky.
Have fun living with mommy, scolding at people with families.
Thats exactly what a gay would say
you're not twenty. you're nineteen.
No, I'm twenty, turning twenty-one in December.
KWAB
>20 year old living with mom who wants to kill himself because he isn't a millionaire and will have to go to work in order to live believes he is completely self-sufficient and needs neither family or friends and can stay happy jerking off for the rest of his life
>he says he is more mature than anyone else
Thanks for the laugh m80, but dear fricking God these are the people you are interacting with on this board
>I'm mature for my age
You're about to get dogpiled bro. Just log off for a while
My general view is that people who don't want to breed are not good enough to breed. Its a self solving problem
>I'm more than happy just to jerk off till I die, yeah
Wow very logical man. Floored by the analytic power of your mind here
Your exchange reminds me of a blogpost I once laughed at, in which a clinical autist was explaining why it was that autistic people do not understand social rules. His point was that autistic people are very rational, so they need to have things very clearly explained to them, and then see for themselves that whatever rule in question leads to the most rational outcome. This was rarely the case for social rules, or so the autist claimed. The blogpost then went on to say that this meant that the moronations of autistic people actually wasn't moronations, but them being much smarter and more rational than NPCs.
>I still don't see any pros though
So what, you just want to jerk off and smoke pot without interruptions until old age?
Your problem is navel-gazing. Having a family is the main pathway to the most intimate experiences one could ever have in life. What is the point of intimacy? You get to examine and learn from the core of what makes us human. This leads directly to your perception on the biggest questions of existence. You witness the greatest process of all, growth, and it makes you realize just how vast this whole thing is. That's depth of perception. It marries the base and the sublime. There is an ascension within it all, but it's only available to those who have a keen enough eye to distinguish apart from the fluff. How can you not appreciate what engages the most of your manhood (and womanhood)? But I understand it clearly not being for everyone.
I genuinely think I should end it all because I'll never become a millionaire, I don't see a point in living life if I'm gonna be living most of it at work.
What a terrible approach to life.
Reduce spending and work as little as you can, ez.
If I do that then I won't be able to afford to live.
Are you being fully honest? Do you live the cheapest place you possibly could and have zero superfluous luxuries in your daily life?
In that case, frick that sucks and I feel for ya, but I hardly believe it can be true.
>Are you being fully honest?
I live at home but my mum charges me rent so I have to get a job soon, I don't know what you think I'm lying about. You can ask me more direct questions and I'll answer them.
The even worse realization is that even if you could save up a million by the time you did inflation will have made that a lot less..
One does not save up a million dollars, it takes a lot more than just saving.
Hence the "if" Senior Sperg
If only you realized just how much the modeling and fashion industries had to do with your misfortunes
How much is that? I know fast-fashion is a major source of pollution, frivolous spending and endless cringe, but it doesn't really hurt me, it just annoys me slightly when I focus on it.
It has skewed all of your relationships, from the most intimate to the most political (related to your job, for example). Filtered perceptions.
God I love dexedrine. No wonder almost the entire world were popping them like tic-tacs from 1940-1960.
Where are you getting dexedrine?
Leftists are perverted to the point they become extreme prudes
>Life, young man, is a woman, a woman sprawled before us, with close-pressed bulging breasts and a great, soft belly between those broad hips, with slender arms and swelling thighs, with eyes half-closed in mocking defiance, challenging and demanding our most urgent response, the proof or collapse of our resilient manly desire
>only one sin is past forgiveness, pity and mercy, and that is the sin of lacking appetite for life
I miss Mynheer Peeperkorn so much bros...
Theres a long time family friend who just went off to college. Ive known this kid since he was a baby. He called me to say that he misses everyone and is sad to be away from everyone. This was kind of jarring. Ive always wanted nothing more than to get as far away from my family as I could. I also never feel like I "miss" anyone ever. Even when I'm away or out of contact. I'm kind of like a dog in that I forget that people exist when I'm not around them. Like my brother died recently and I don't miss him at all. Feels bad man. I think my mind got really fricked up from my childhood.
Nothing exists in my mind beyond death and suffering, torture and pain beyond sanity and reason.
I am a gazelle in an eternal, impossible escape from a lion, a sheep surrounded by wolves, the victim to every murder. The certainty of the horrendous and vile end that awaits hangs heavily on me, casts the darkest of shadows on every single day and night, reduces every value, hope and dream to pathetic distractions.
I surrender my mind to the blackness of night, and gradually my thoughts become pleasantly incoherent until I cease to be. But every morning I am once again here, once again in full use of my mental faculties, greeted by endless possibilities for horror and pain, the tight rope I walk on as frail as it ever has been from the moment I set foot on this blood-soaked planet.
And I take it all in. I take every single horror this world has to offer and I make it mine, never looking away, never wondering why. I go through the motions until my sole respite is at hand, my pathetic revenge on an existence that hates everything it contains.
The sun shines on this endless orgy of brutality and I transform into something vile. In becoming an extension of the malignantly useless will that runs through every living being, I recover the illusion of safety and control. And eternity.
Chaos turns to certainty, weakness turns to strength, fear twists into a merciless wild chase for pleasure
Abel stabs furiously into random parts of Cain's face, slashing through his cheeks and carving his eyes out. He pummels his face furiously with a stone until his nose caves in. Cain flails his arms and legs wildly until able renders them useless, pulverizing his bones, and then drags him into the fire. Cain writhes like a worm and howls like a banshee, the air fills with the smell of burnt fat.
After washing away the remaining filth, high on the glory of victory, the daring confrontation with death, he runs towards his wife, his wiener throbbing with the same intensity he smashed Cain's arms and legs into paste. His wife's dripping c**t awaits him hungrily as she fingers her butthole in anticipation, her ass firm and bouncy, her holes tight and fresh.
No foreplay, no pretense. She's thrown into the ground, ass up in the air, and Cain shoves his tongue into her twitching sphincter. His wiener pushes in and she moans with pain while fingering her c**t.
The end.
Get laid bro.
I am losing my fricking mind I think, I can’t be sure anymore. I want to do everything in the world. I want to take every opportunity that comes my way. But right now I’m only sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night and still feel like I’m not doing enough even though I work for 12-16 hours a day (jobs and hobby projects). I want to maybe relax a little with some video games or learn a new language or how to code but it never feels like there’s enough time. And then whenever I’m deep into something it makes me feel like I’m falling behind on everything else and need to catch up. I feel trapped yet free at the same time. It’s like I can’t let go of time. I just want to do everything all the time all at once and it’s draining yet rewarding and I feel like I’m becoming less certain what I’m even thinking as the days go by.
Think I good poet
Read some W. B. Yeats
Stop writing poems
I see my ugly looks as a blessing. Theres no risk at getting approach by girls or not being able to return the feelings. Im not even that monsterous like Elephant Man because some girl would definitely have a thing for it but just hideous enough to remain sexuality invisible. Freedom
How do I muster the respect needed to find a partner that I might love, knowing so many women spend their entire early years clubbing and posting nudes of themselves online?
Personally, I think we should marry and have kids like our ancestors did, but not keep up hope for a traditional submissive virgin. We need to understand how women are, not get too attached, guard ourselves, and make try e best with it that we can.
I cant. If I'm going to marry and procreate it has to be with someone whom I love, and that means I need someone whom I can respect, someone who loves and respects themselves, so they can in turn love me. Do I have too much pride? I just cannot fathom how I can force myself to find these meerkats who rush to the nigthclubs and bars every single friday night, with half their ass sticking out, running around and humiliating themselves just to get drunk and find some poor sap to take them with a candom while they marinate themselves with contraceptives.
Do you believe in redemption, forgiveness, and mercy?
If I know the person, perhaps, but we're talking about taking a shot with, at the time, a stranger. So no.
I'm in my late twenties. And the only 'experience' a woman having should be that of a long relationship that failed for one or another major reason, complete incompatibility or differences in what they wanted for the future, one night stands or vacation flings are completely out of the question, also I don't think I would ever want to engage with someone over 25, because if implications. I'am not socially awkward in anyway, a bit taciturn for sure, but I have no problem talking to women, which is what actually promppted some interest in my when I was young, however back then I didn't feel mature enough and I wasn't yet sure of what I wanted so I never chaced a relationship. I don't know where to find these women you're talking about, all of them seem to be obsessed with social media and appearing as happy as they can be to their friends, which apparently means non stop partying and cheap sex. They weren't at my uni and they're not here at my job, I feel kind of lost, considering most of my hobbies are solitary.
So you're a virgin in your late twenties, who is not a big talker and who is into solitary hobbies.
What if I told you that women like men who are outgoing, have a social circle and who has experience with women?
I'm not trying to insult you, but going purely by your description, you don't seem to fit the perfect picture women demand in the same way you expect women to be.
Someone who has had 2 relationships and a vacation fling at 24 is not some irredeemable prostitute. Just like a man in his late twenties, a virgin isn't. But if you're not a top dog and you're in your late twenties, be realistic about who you can attract.
Either it's going to be some 18-20 year old who has no experience. I guess you find her at some 'based' church. Or you see that you cannot pull the cream of the crop, and you go for someone who is flawed like you are.
Now I'm by no means saying to wife up a prostitute or a worn out roastie. But when you're going for a relationship (eventually marriage) you're going to have to swallow some flaws. Do you plan on not having sex till marriage either? Cause that'll add another layer of difficulty.
Well just know that not 100% of women go to the nightclub each weekend.
I'd say most don't and only a small percentage does.
Sure most women have been to a nightclub before, maybe they go twice a year plus new years.
Some questions: how old are you
And what do you consider acceptable for a woman in terms of her 'experience'
If you're like 26 and she is 24, would you accept it if she had 2 relationships and once a fling on vacation or whatever?
Cause if that's palatable to you then I think you have plenty of options.
I'm not up to date with body counts stats but I think most women don't have a stack of 10+ bodies.
And it also helps to look honestly at yourself. For a woman a pitfall can be sleeping around too much. For men it can be being socially awkward, niche hobbies no one gives a shit about and grooming yourself very poorly.
I’m not making a value judgement so I can’t say if you have too much pride. I’m taking a strictly utilitarian view here and saying that if you want children and anything remotely resembling a family life as a husband and a father, you will probably just have to accept the diminished nature of what’s available to you in this time. If you want the coat, you need to accept the price tag, the fact that it’s not as nice as coats used to be, the fact that the price is higher than it used to be, and the fact that it will probably only be your coat for a while before it decides to walk off. That’s just how it is. But my advice would to be not throw yourself into it. Don’t find a wife in night clubs or bars. You know? You don’t want to go dumpster diving, when you still get the albeit lesser coat I mentioned.
What I’m looking for in a wife at this point, is someone who might leave but probably won’t ruin my life, someone with good genes that can have healthy kids, and someone who is more likely, however small that margin might be, to be a good mother and stick around until they’re adults or nearly adults. That’s it honestly. I really don’t have any hope at all anymore for finding love, commitment, loyalty, a loving, caring wife, or a lasting marriage. I just feel like that’s too naive. And as for her taking all my stuff, I will probably put everything I have in the name of a parent or a sibling so when the divorce comes, there’s nothing for her to take anyway.
I already know all of this, and believe when I say I have ran in through my head a thousand times. But in the end I desire love and healthy offpsring, and a stable relationship is paramount to both of those. Belive me I should know as my parents split when I was very young which has had a massively negative effect on my life. Because of this I belive I have much more of a fear than most guys of a failed relationship, I simply cannot do the same mistake my parents do and I would rather kill myself than inflict that cruelty to both a future wife and child. I feel at most I would be able to hack it a few more years before I give up.If It doesn't work out I might begin preperations for suicide, If I don't have a beautiful life I at least wish to have a beautiful death.
I chief error, I think I have is, that I cannot hide my emotions or lie, and while people might belive this is a virture, It is more of a disability. I'am an only son and in a lot of ways I feel cursed by my father.
I'm from a fricked up family too, parents divorced at 8, rarely saw my father growing up.
This however has had no negative effect on my view of relationships. And my mother was a literal virgin and they met in church btw. Maybe that's why I don't DEMAND a virgin waifu. Cause at the end of the day they're all women.
You're not guaranteeing yourself some naïve maiden just by bagging a virgin.
>I desire love and healthy offpsring, and a stable relationship is paramount to both of those
And what if I tell you you will have none of it, if you continue to look at the situation as you do now? I can already tell you that perfection is your enemy. Would you hold the same standard for your children? Do they get to frick up or do you disavow them for it, proclaim that they are not worth the trouble?
You talking about suicide is a fricking massive red flag. Imagine some woman being with you while knowing that you would kys if she ever left or find out she once fricked a guy while interning in Europe or whatever.
All I can tell you is to stop demanding (near) perfect things for your life. Cause if you do you'll have one of the saddest lives ever that ends up with you roping yourself.
For me? I'm also in my late 20's but I have been in a relationship before. I know what to expect with women, I've turned a lot of them down and now I think I might have found a good one. Not perfect, but one where I can see myself starting a family and making great memories with. Beats roping myself, no?
Agree completely with this guy. At the end of the day, you have to just choose if you want to play the cards you’re dealt even if it’s not a very good hand. Maybe you can make the most of it, but definitely not if you never play your hand. If you never play your hand it’s just…nothing.
Mine split when I was 3, I have no memory of them ever being together, and my father never really spoke to me, we only met during christmas and birthdays for a few hours. My mom also left me with my grandmother up until I was like 10 I believe after the divorce, they were both very young when they married.
I don't know why you keep insisting I deman perfection, I simply ask for a partner with similar views on love and the importance of two people coming together, the fact that wishing for a woman whom doesn't spend her time in debasement is some sort of unicorn is depressing.
And no, I belive spilling my guts near a river up in the mountains is preferable to 'settling' for someone or worse someone 'settling' for me....
Putting it like this makes it an easy choice, as what you're asking is If I wish to spawn more suffering and uglyness in the world or not, and the answer is quite an easy one. The only thing I would fear is with time I will for sure sucumb to bitterness, envy and hatred, which is why I'm giving myself around 5 more years to find someone, and If not, I will attempt a beautiful death, splitting my veins near a river up in the mountains, surrounded by nature, blood nourishing the ground and spilling into the river, the return.
Although these words sting me as I do really wish to find love in humankind. I think of Goethe's Faust often and how Gretchen redeems and saves Faust with her love.
If you experience your life as literally nothing but suffering and ugliness and you are assuming it would necessarily be the same for your off-spring, you’re just making a baseless assumption. There is no rational reason to accept that.
FWIW, no one will find that death beautiful and once you shit yourself, the bloat sets in, and the coyotes and fly larvae find the body, it will actually be pretty horrifically ugly.
Also, the Virgin Mary, angels, and Gretchen’s immortal soul save Faust, not a created human woman. The point is that Faust is redeemed by the divine feminine, not the human feminine.
And all of that is only possible because of the relationship they had on earth. His soul would have not been saved if not for their relationship on earth.
I do not know why you're obsessing over the virgin part as in a previous post I mentioned I would consider women whom have had relationships, but dissolved do to legitimate reasons.
Yeah and you’re the dumbass that’s going to avoid human relationships here on earth so you can become buzzard food instead.
A relationship that springs from polluted soil has no chance to become anything but unnecessary and pointless suffering.
Just emotionally driven polemic
A nothing reply
Answer what? Listing off random scenarios isn't a question.
I do no believe so.
Worthwhile women have spoken and deemed you polluted soil, incel.
So because I have a sliver of requirements and don't simply subscribe to a 'freelove' movement ,or dare to pressume some actions might have consequences, that makes me unfit for a relationship? What did I ask of that is so grand and challenging to achieve, having a degree of self respect and not falling in the pit of debasement purely ouf of blind hormone chasing or comformism? I even avoided early relationships purely on the principal that I thought it cruelty to lead on and abuse women because I found myself immature and unable to provide a foundation for something that might be one day become love and understanding. Is that what makes me a bad person, saying no to women?
If it's so easy to achieve then you'll have no problem finding that special woman. Good luck but I think you'll end up killing yourself near a river like a totally normal human being would. That for sure isn't a sign that there's something terribly wrong with you. Prime marriage material!
You're the polluted soil.
You didn't answer.
Would you settle for a virgin but someone who is really fat?
What about a virgin who is 20 cm taller than you?
One who is ugly. Like big nose or huge forehead? Does she have to be cute? Does she have to be a particular race?
Are these deal breakers or are you truly pure in your search for:
>a partner with similar views on love and the importance of two people coming together
Well, I would say that first of all you can have love. I just don’t know that you can have it forever, not from a wife. And I don’t know that’s what you should be after in the first place. I think to love a wife most and to love most of all love from a wife is a recipe for disaster. There has to be something higher for you than that. As for inflicting pain on a future wife, that’s as simple as being a good husband. Don’t cheat. Don’t divorce. If she ends the marriage, which is statistically likelier, that’s not you inflicting pain on her. It’s her inflicting pain on herself, which you simply cannot help to a certain degree. As for the children, that’s more difficult, but again, you can be a good father. You can’t hope to have a world where nobody can ever do harm to your kids. The world just isn’t like that. At some level, you have to accept that kids can get hurt and damaged and though you have an obligation to try and prevent it, you can never prevent that absolutely. That’s just how life is. I think there are things you can do to minimize fallout and damage to yourself, to your wife, and to your kids in the event of divorce. It will never be perfect, but you just have to accept that perfect was never an option. A long time ago, if you married, there was a high chance your wife and kids would die in childbirth and as infants and there was absolutely nothing you could do about it. This is just how things are. You can accept them and move ahead with it anyway, which I think is right, or you can shy away from it, which I think is a terrible mistake. Your life is going to end one day, whether you want it to or not. Do you want it to end knowing you shied away from everything because of a little risk or do you want it to end knowing that you took it by the horns? In my mind, the latter is not only the spiritually emotionally correct choice, but the logical one too. There is no logical reason not to choose it.
A huge regret of mine is not realizing how important your first choice of major and career is. To some degree, you’re always going to be what you chose no matter what. Bankers will always be bankers, even when they join faculty and serve in congress. Soldiers will always be soldiers, even when they write books and start businesses. This is just how it is, and so to have chosen something regrettable is terrible.
People who let their dogs leave their property without a leash should be lined up and shot.
Nothing a little poison wrapped in ham doesn't fix
It’s not the dog’s fault.
And there are certain strategies you can employ. For example, have kids as soon as you marry because if you get 18 years of marriage for the kid’s sake, you’ll be lucky. Hide your assets. Put them in family’s name if you have to.
You shouldn't be allowed out without a leash 😉
I am an atheist who desperately wishes to believe in Catholicism. The big thing holding me back is the problem of evil. I've always heard God lets bad things happen to good people because he wanted us to love him with free will. But this doesn't make sense to me. Didn't God create free will? Why couldn't he make it possible to do that with no risk of bad things happening? Like if he's really omnipotent and benevolent, shouldn't he be able to give us free will without the possibility of bad outcomes?
It's not about loving him so much as loving others. Suffering is the opportunity for compassion. You couldn't help bear another's suffering out of love for them, and nobody would have kids as a consequence. You're asking to give up your duty to others.
Why can't we have compassion without suffering? Why did god create the concepts of compassion and suffering in this way?
>How can I feel someone else's pain when nobody has ever felt any?
Uh if you're only into being compassionate when other people are happy and not when they're sad, I think you might be a bad person, anon. Idk if any religion solves that.
My point is, if God is omnipotent, he could create good without bad. We could be compassionate, have free will, love, all that jazz without the possibility of evil. If thats not possible, then God is not omnipotent. If it is, and he just chose not to, then God is not benevolent.
Think about that. Sure, he could’ve created only good, but then you wouldn’t have free will. You’d be less than an animal and more like mindless automaton slave at worst. Would that be “good”?
Your question makes NO SENSE.
>Sure, he could’ve created only good, but then you wouldn’t have free will.
If god is omnipotent, couldn't he do both? Give me free will but also only create good? If you say no, then god is limited in some way and is not omnipotent.
I really don’t know what you’re not understanding about this. It is a NONSENSE question. It is quite literally incoherent. If evil is the absence of good, the not good, if bad is the not good what does it mean to ask “could good just have been not good”. That is a meaningless question. Those words don’t refer to real ideas.
I am saying that an omnipotent God would not be bound by our linguistics, our logic. There's no reason he couldn't give us free will without any of the negative consequences.
He’s not. You, a human, asked another human, a nonsense, incoherent question that cannot be answered by me in human language. That is not a judgement of God’s ability, but rather ours. Why should there be a coherent answer to an incoherent question? That makes no sense. It’s no different than you scribbling a bunch of nonsense symbols on a sheet and going “solve this math equation”.
hmmm. I guess if God is omnipotent, he could allow evil and still be benevolent. Is that kinda what you're saying?
No, I’m not. I’m saying that you are failing to distinguish between words and the things which words refer to, and so your questions are incoherent and not really questions. It’s not a matter of God being able to able to somehow overcome a negative predicate; but rather that the question cannot even reasonably be asked. If I asked “can God make true not true?” the question could never be answered in the affirmative or the negative because the question is incoherent. It fails to really posit a question. So when we talk about God overcoming these positive-negative predicate relationships, communication has already broken down.
“True” and “not true” are mutually exclusive concepts. They cannot conceivably overlap. Some thing cannot possibly be both “true” and “not true” at the same time. So if a hypothetical thing is said to be both “true” and also said to be “not true”, which this hypothetical thing would be in the case where I ask if God can make some thing true and not true, I’m not really using words to refer to any real concept. They’re meaningless words. The worlds are literally without meaningless. So there’s no real question to answer.
God didn't create me with the ability to fly either, does that mean I have no free will?
Clearly not. Same story if I had been incapable of doing evil.
That would be omnipotence and not free will. Free describes your will and not your abilities.
>Making those women into robots was actually a good thing in Stepford Wives
Do you work for Disney or are you a less dangerous psychopath?
The problem of evil is solved with this verse
>Rom. 8:28
>And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
All things work together for good, ergo the end of all this is good, therby overcoming evil
It’s actually very simple. God made us in His image. As a result, we have free will. Because we have free will, we can turn away from God. This is where evil comes from. There are things which are “bad” in the world, which are nonetheless not evil. Evil is specifically the result of human will. Thus, God does not will evil. We do. God only “allows” evil in so far as he allows us to have free will. As for why he allowed us to have free will, it’s so that we could restore our pact with God, something which could not be done if we did have free will. As for why He wants us to restore our pact, it’s because we are fallen as the result of our sinning in the garden, which is a matter of fact and again, was not the will of God but the will of man. And it’s important to note here, that God never allowed anything to happen which He could not fix. In allowing Adam and Eve to sin, he also let Christ redeem Adam and redeem all of us, defeating death itself. The “solution”, if you will, to the problem of God’s allowing Adam to sin is also the greatest gift, greater than the “problem” of allowing us to sin, and that’s allowing us to attain everlasting life. That redemption is the key thing. So evil is allowed, but it’s allowed because doing so allows for a far greater good, the greatest good we can possibly conceive.
If God made us, then God is at least partially responsible for what we do. And if God is omnipotent, he is 100% responsible.
Why did "death itself" need defeating in the first place? Why do we need to "restore our pact" in the first place? If he really is omnipotent, he is ultimately responsible for all the problems we need free will to solve.
>evil is allowed, but it’s allowed because doing so allows for a far greater good, the greatest good we can possibly conceive.
If God is omnipotent, why didn't he make us able to achieve the greatest possible good without evil?
That doesn’t make any sense. God doesn’t will you to evil. The idea that he’s “responsible” is an emotionally driven accusation and not a logical one. If I ask my kid what 2+2 equals and he replied 4, I allowed him to get it wrong but I’m neither responsible for his getting it wrong nor did I will him to get it wrong. You’re playing a rhetorical trick on yourself because you find it disagreeable that evil exists and expect God to just ameliorate that for you and so you find him “responsible” when He doesn’t, but the whole point is that you have the great gift of being able to ameliorate it yourself, which is most dignity a human being could possibly achieve.
>God: *creates ebola*
>You: he's actually a really cool guy, you just don't get it with the emotional accusations, think about it logically dude, just because he did it and has the power to stop it doesn't mean he's responsible
Is the question “if God real, why bad thing happen”? Am I getting that right? Because the idea that God can only exist or be good if everything is always sunshine and butterflies all the time is pretty fricking stupid, my man.
No. The question is specifically, if God is real, why did he create a disease that makes you weep blood and die without dignity and in relentless agony from a billion micro-hemorrhages?
Like why did he specifically create ebola?
But that is the question. “Why does an allegedly good God allow a bad thing to exist” but I’ve already answered that question. This is a common thing with atheists. They ask a question, it gets answered, and they just ask the question again but more emotionally. Moreover, the question is framed with bad assumptions. Sickness is not a creature. The Bible contains instances of physical suffering that are caused by demons and not God.
Did god create the demons? That doesn't seem very benevolent.
He didn’t create them as demons, just like he didn’t create you as an evil person.
And an engineer doesn't create a bridge to fall down, but when they do we don't blame the bridge, we blame the engineer. God, being omnipotent, must have known they'd be demons. And being omnipotent, that means it was intentional.
A bridge falling down is not an inherent feature of being a bridge. Free will is an inherent feature of these sort of beings. You wouldn’t find an electrician culpable when you stick your finger in a socket and electrocute yourself.
No, the question is specifically why God created ebola.
>No, it hasn’t.
You're ignorant.
>That certain “thinkers” choose to ignore the address is irrelevant.
I am only speaking about theologians and theists, the ones who make the apology and not the ones who refuse to accept it. These apologists have been at it for millennia now, from Augustine to Anselm to Aquinas to Leibniz to Schleiermacher to Barth to Whitehead to Farrer, and countless more, each one setting out to do apologetics, each one clearly not content that the question had been sufficiently answered.
Again, ignorant. Not the other anon by the way, my first post was about ebola. There is nothing to be gained here if you've not come further with your answer than "free will" and "demons".
This is a logical fallacy. If St. Irenaeus’ address to the “problem” of evil is misaligned with what the Church teaches, it means nothing. Nobody ever said that everything the Church fathers, saints, or any other thinker said was correct. What matters is church dogma. And moreover, think about how stupid is to looking for a response to this problem that only exists if you suppose a strawman of the actual Christian position. Think about how stupid it would be to have expected the Church fathers to have been pained to address it. It was never a “problem” until atheists convinced everyone of their strawman. Regardless, it’s resolved in Christian theology. Insisting that some thinkers missed it is not an argument.
>This is a logical fallacy
Are you deliberately trying to emulate the most obnoxious atheists? If yes, I get the bit, lay it off, if no, what fallacy?
Again, theologians of all stripes have taken it seriously. That you refuse this fact merely signals your ignorance of theological history.
No, not at all. There are a range of activities possible with a human body, and there are a range of activities that are not possible. Omnipotence does not figure into it at all, just a limited set of abilities. I cannot breathe underwater, I cannot fly, I cannot conjure fire from my fingertips - these are all impossible with a human body. Nonetheless, I have a wide range of capabilities that allow me to act in certain ways, which means that we can reasonably speak of free will - I can do many things with my limited set of abilities. Likewise, had the ability to do evil been outside the scope of my abilities, as breathing underwater etc. is now, we would still be able to speak of free will.
No, appealing to some vague cohort of experts that apparently never found their answer is literally a logical fallacy. What they did or didn’t do is totally inconsequential.
Omnipotence would imply that you could make your self fly if you wanted to. Free will does not. But you admitted what I already said in your final sentence. Free will isn it absent simply because you cannot fly, just like it’s not absent if you don’t have any one of the powers of God.
And by the way, no, you are being profoundly dishonest, the problem of evil has weighed heavy on the minds of the most brilliant theologists for millennia, who took it seriously and dedicated much of their intellectual life making apologetics, it's not a stupid question by a long shot.
No, it hasn’t. It’s been addressed for multiple millenia now. That certain “thinkers” choose to ignore the address is irrelevant. The whole point is that people have free will, both to will evil and to err. This is also a logical fallacy anyway.
Think about that logically. If evil were not able to be willed, that would necessarily mean we don’t really have free will, and if we don’t really have free will we couldn’t really restore our pact with God or redeem our souls. You would miss out on the gift of everlasting life.
>I am an atheist who desperately wishes to believe in Catholicism
Why?
I love all the natural law stuff. The catholic morality makes a lot of intuitive sense to me. And I desperately crave community, but I can't bring myself to go to church and lie to them all the time about my beliefs. I want to sincerely believe, I just don't.
If catholic morality makes intuitive sense to you, you believe it to be true, and the condition of possibility for that truth is the existence of God and the truth of catholicism, hence, you already believe in God by inference.
Lrn2KantianReasoning
The question of whether you can be a believing Catholic Christian without going to church is a somewhat open one. Not going to church is not an irredeemable sin afaik. It’s up to you to reconcile whether that’s required, but it seems to me that it would be pants-on-head moronic to accept whole heartedly Catholic theology and thus Catholic dogma but then just choose arbitrarily to not go to Church even though you’re expected to. Because the thing is, it’s not really about what you want. It’s about what you’re supposed to do. Nobody ever said bring a Christian was supposed to be easy and it certainly was never supposed to be about just doing what you want. To some degree, you’re expected to do what you don’t want because it’s good and right.
Thats why belief is called the "leap of faith."
You don't have to lie to people or be a hardcore ultraCatholic to go to church. You can just show up to see what it's like, or to ask the priest some questions. When I went to Divine Liturgy for the first time I hung out at the back of the chapel and just kinda watched everyone and afterwards I had a little chat with the priest and that was that, no one thought anything of it.
>And I desperately crave community
Ah, there it is
Atheist Black folk are always talking about God. Just shut the frick up and open a book. It's not someone's role on the internet to teach you about religion
The days seem all the same. Ctrl C + Ctrl V. I feel animals are making fun of me. "Hur dur look at me I'm a human, I work and pay taxes hur dur". What can I do?
fish decided to walk on land so we could waste our lives in front of glowing monitors and consider suicide
https://time.com/6263906/taliban-afghanistan-office-work-quiet-quit/
According to people who know both worlds, the office grind is worse than sitting in a cave at war with the biggest military in the world.
God, that's depressing.
I had a blue collar friend who did two tours in Afghanistan that said the same thing. He said Afghanistan was a lot better than the job site and he’s been depressed ever since he came home.
once again i'm stuck with having to create the things i want to read. I know, it's all good to actually like what i write, and i'm way ahead of you cause i know you're trying to figure out how to tell me my writing sucks, but honestly i'm so fricking tired. Having kids and a full time job while trying to create something that has value during the small windows of time when i don't have to do things for other people... i just wanna sit down and be entertained. But nothing fricking entertains. Which leads me back to thinking about how to write more, but the whole process of getting into the setting and all the details is so time consuming that by the time i start typing usually something else comes up and all i've done is manage to get frustrated.
But yeah, things are good overall. Thanks for being my diary. tbh.
I’m having a really hard time figuring out what I should do in the next 6 to 12 months.
Hankbros... we did it.
Happy for him. Never was a big fan of his content, but wouldn't wish cancer upon him.
For the duration of the pandemic I desired not only human contact but contact with people my own age. I tried going out to meet people but I saw that most public spaces were occupied by old people. I had this fantasy about a social space designed for young adults. It occured to me that universities are this space and my isolation was on account of the closing of universities. If I coulf get back to university my isolation would lift and I could meet like people. Well here I am, in university and now all I feel is crushing alienation. I dont fit in and I can't relate because everyone around me is a teenager fresh out of high school. Everyone here is living the "college experience" but after years of being independent and in the work force the "college experience" just feels like being stuck in high school again. I think people in my immediate age range got fricked over the hardest by the pandemic and this social alienation is like a bubble traveling through the bloodstream of american generations.
Sometimes I wish I had a cute IQfy twink bf but I know this is just a fantasy so I push it out of my mind usually
Doesn’t anyone feel like there is nothing to do? It seems to me like the only way to be “a man of action” so to speak today is to be a serial entrepreneur or to be a sort of institutional credential climber (get degrees, certain offices, certain credentials, etc.). Otherwise, you’re just stuck kind of wasting your days waiting for a paycheck so you can survive for no real reason. Am I projecting? I feel like I’ve had nothing in particular to do for years. Nothing has changed.
You're kind of right. A lot of modern countries are kind of settled in certain systems and ways to do things.
My advise is to move to a country that doesn't have this. A lot of African, Asian and S-American countries are fit for this.
And do what there? I’m not seeing how going somewhere else automatically solves this?
new quentin dropped
Wine wine wine
i just woke up with a very catchy song stuck in my head that i believe my brain invented
Write it down for posterity dude.
i sang it into my phone microphone but i forgot some of it unfortunately
upload to vocaroo, see if you really invented it.
im insecure about my singing
Fair enough, but haven't you been called a homosexual or cringe or gay or whatever often enough on here that it just sorta doesn't register at this point??
yeah but typically the insults people throw at each other are based on what little they can gleam about someone based on inference from style of typing, short pieces of info, etc.
imo, the voice (especially when singing) is like a window into the soul. if someone called my soul a homosexual, with evidence to back their claim, i'd be pretty bummed
I once sang some copypasta someone wrote
I got rave reviews for my Dutch accent
https://vocaroo.com/1j32vbJamnrT
>bought a shitload of amphetamine pills this evening
>going to bed with a smile on my face knowing I'll pop one right after breakfast and have a great day
God I love being a druggie.
a shitload of amphetamine pills this evening
Where do you get this stuff? Just from a dealer? I love speed but can rarely get it
I get it from the guy who sells me LSD. His girlfriend has ADD and jumped through all the hoops necessary to no longer get ritalin/methylphenidate (which I don't enjoy at all), but pure dextroamphetamine. She is scripted more than she needs, so they sell me the surplus.
It sort of depends on what country you are in. Some places dexedrine isn't used for ADD, only racemic ampetamine or methylphenidate. Powdered and clandestinely produced speed is widely available in european countries, but that usually sucks with an average purity of 5-10% and loads of active cuts like caffeine, that ruin it by turning the high too tense.
If dexedrine is availaible by prescription in your country, ask your dealer - it's usually not too hard to buy someone's surplus.
Telegram, ya boomer
I'm a timid and shy and weak introvert IRL and whenever I have lustful thoughts I kind of can't imagine myself acting upon them so I project myself onto this huge dude from work who's generally a player who pumps and dumps women and breaks their hearts. I fantasize myself being him and fricking women but I can't have that same fantasy with me being myself.
you need to start lifting
Lift deez nuts in yo mouth
>Lift deez nuts in yo mouth
Das rite ytboi
Dirtman's pleasures are nonexistent, his energy naturally negative inward. "Holy shit..." That's when it was Mondo. "I'm about to go absolutely Mondo." He couldn't help dropping all of his beans. At this rate, it was too late. He saw him do it and smirked. Now "He" is Mondo Benny, reincarnated as soon as he killed the dirty man and spilled his beans. Mondo's wife cut off her hands out of fear, now he uses them to slap the dirty man for his birthday. All of this was more than I could ever hope to se. Livingg for this kind of pain was all I were cut out for.
Life has been rough lately. For all of us, I guess.
I'm very close to reaching enlightenment but the body I'm currently identifying with is really horny lately and won't stop jerking off.
Does anyone have the webm of the pin falling through the sky and it lands on a post that says FRICK Black folk with smug pepe?
There is nothing more for me to write. I don’t write, I just transcribe my inner monologue. The results are much worse than mediocrity, pretentiousness, and useless self-deprecation, which hides a false humility, a person who wants to be great, but is not, and has to achieve validation by exaggerated self-deprecation, so that others can correct it to the other extreme and satisfy themselves, when you know that you are of average intelligence and imagination, far beyond any ability, who cannot cope with the agony of discovering who he is, a pretense, a lifelong LARP. Living someone’s life. You must be grotesquely insane to be able to rationalize yourself as an intelligent and mature person, while writing pages, indulging in yourself, with pseudo-philosophical, quasi-avant-garde, almost poetic, almost everything but everything good, there is nothing of value. that remark, yes also full of pretense, because the idea carried is that the admission of faults redeems them.
How come in life you always find the key right after they remove the lock?
I was raised Mormon and I've stopped believing in it. The farther away I get from it the more I realize how screwed up everything about it was.
My mother and many members of my family are really into genealogical research because in Mormon doctrine, the dead who did not receive the proper Mormon rites will not have a chance to receive the highest degree of glory in the afterlife until someone performs them in their name, by proxy. It's bizarre and ridiculous but what really gets me about it is that my mom has spent literal years of her life researching her ancestry and that of my father's extended family in order to submit the names of newly discovered ancestors to the church to have their rites performed, even though said names are actually recycled over and over and sometimes several people perform rites for the same person over a period of several years without knowing it. Not only that but there are absolutely no controls or verifying bodies making sure the "genealogy" being performed is legit; you could hop on to the system and enter Santa Claus, Darth Vader, and Giga homie 3000 as your ancestors and no one would be the wiser. Most people use scanned copies of parish records, birth records, and so on to complete family trees, but you could literally just claim to have such records in your possession and throw up random shit and no one would know or care. Dozens of people in my family wasted years of their lives on this nonsense, all to have knockoff Masonic rites performed in the names of people who may or may not have ever existed.
Another thing that gets me is that from the 70s until the 2000s or so, Mormons were strongly encouraged to have emergency food stores in their homes in order to be prepared for the Second Coming, which was said to be imminent. Families across the Mormon Belt blew thousands of dollars on everything from sacks of rice to stores of wheat to canned food, and spent more to rotate said food every once in a while when it went bad, if they were a little smarter. It's been over 40 years since that time, the Mormon authorities have quietly stopped promoting food storage, and all that food storage has by now rotted. My parents had to clean decades of waste out of my mom's parents' basement when they went into assisted living, as they had spent years canning and jarring everything not nailed to the ground until they became too old to do so anymore and everything turned into mold. Having emergency supplies is good, like for a hurricane or power outage, but this went far beyond that point.
1/2
2/2
Closely related to the food storage is the tithing Mormons are expected to pay to the church - 10% of all income. In Mormonism, if you don't pay your tithing, you can't enter Mormon temples and are thus excluded from the highest level of Mormon Heaven, even if they claim otherwise to outsiders. I can't imagine how many millions of dollars have gone to the LDS church from my family's pockets, or how much better off they could have been if they hadn't paid. My parents grew up at a time when leading Mormon authorities told members that retirement accounts, excessive savings, and the like were to be avoided as they would be unnecessary during the forthcoming Tribulation, and that the extra income should go to the church instead, and for this reason they're both struggling to make ends meet in their 50s, with maybe a 4-digit sum saved up between them and no retirement money to speak of. I have no idea what they're going to do - work until they die? hope to win the lottery? - and it's depressing to see them living like this while continuing to give money to the Mormon church every single year.
Said church, by the way, has over $140 billion in publicly-known assets, potentially up to $250 billion if the valuation of some of their land assets is to be believed, and was fined $5 million this year for hiding securities assets from the SEC through a convoluted network of 13 shell corporations. Look up Ensign Peak Advisors if you want the full story.
Anyway this is mostly just a rant slash vent post because no one I know in real life cares (and I doubt anyone on this board cares either, honestly) but I don't think I've even begun to reverse the mindfrickery that growing up in Mormonism inflicted on me and I expect to still discover ways in which it hurt me or my family for years to come.
I wrote something some time ago about a vacation. Took some time off the internet and went on a caffeine fast before writing it.
I went on a trip to a few Western states recently, at the end of which we went from Death Valley straight to Las Vegas. Death Valley was hot, dry, and almost devoid of any sign of life, and much of it was below sea level. Standing on the outstretching dunes of one location I felt like I was witnessing the foundation upon which God had set up the world. On another I saw hexagonal salt flats which seemed to separate the desert rock and sand in irregular patterns of organic wireframe.
We then drove just two hours away to the loud, garish spectacle of Las Vegas. The city that had materialized like an LED oasis out of the desert to earn synonymity with escape. The clockless casinos lined up with bright, neon slot machines manned by dead-eyed and anonymous souls in rooms filled with the smell of cigarette smoke, adjacent to opulent hotel lobbies with high ceilings fitted with ornate palatial designs, imitation-crab facades on the strip aping the style of every prominent yesteryear building so that it was as if you could wonder whether the pyramids would show up and they would pop up around the corner, an otherworldly circus and water diving show brought to life by death-defying performers in gaudy costumes, scantily clad girls in feather hats prowling a hotel front to ask for pictures while eyes are fixed upon a fountain show moving in a slavish and mechanical choreography of light and water, resembling a series of lifeless and locked geysers. Flying back home, the city glowed below like a giant circuit board, unobstructed by clouds, until the light faded and the darkness of the desert returned.
If Death Valley brought to mind the past, and Las Vegas the present, together they made me think about the future. What kind of desert or foundation for a level of yet unbuilt reality will emerge in our lifetime? And when it comes, will the power to generate worlds out of nothing be concentrated in the hands of the few who build this desert? Or will we be able to imagine worlds beyond the pleasure-oasis, beyond escaping ourselves, and live the authentic and fulfilling lives of which we were deprived in the world of the past?
huh
Nicely written.
I like what you wrote, and know what you mean. Nevada is a very strange place, and the contrast between the total stillness of the desert to the chaos of Vegas feels very surreal.
I don't understand posters like this. Do you just not understand or are you genuinely stupid?
Should i take a creative writing course at my college, i have 3 credits i didn't know i still needed.
I've noticed in the last year or so my writing has gotten worse. In emails I'll often forget suffixes like -ed or -ing. I used "is" to refer to a plural noun today. I never used to be this way. What does it mean?
These sort of generic middle class white collar administration jobs are basically career suicide. They’re worse than bartending. At least bartenders get elected to congress.
How do I get over the mindset that I'm debasing myself by pursuing girls/putting myself out there? Or even in general I'm debasing myself by presenting myself in a specific way online or irl. I just feel as if I'm debasing myself I can't really describe it. Like I would be debasing myself if I made a goodreads or made a chart for a chart thread on any board. Anything to do with curating an identity I instinctively feel contempt and disgust for. But imo Isn't doing those things necessary to find a girl. I can't exactly just be a freak with no socials/ online presence/ no phone etc and just read all day, and pursue my interests and ever expect to find a girl. I'm just sick of being alone.
Sounds like you were bullied in middle school and now you're fixated on keeping up appearances and not losing face to the point where it's preventing you from showing any voulenrability which interferes with romantic function
Don't let it go too far or you'll be paying women to tie you up and make fun of your penis
Just had a date with said mestizo.
Almost like I was being pranked. She wants a homestead, likes a traditional man, wants many kids, has been in only one relationship 6 years ago and she's slightly more light skinned than the pictures showed.
Now just hope she's not crazy in some other way but I'll find that out soon.
Maybe I just have to accept that I’m too old to turn things around…
How old are you? I guarantee I’m older.
Some people grew up with the stuff some didn’t. That’s life I guess.
I think hating on anime and anime fans in 2023 is way cringier than watching anime or being an anime fan in 2023.
I'm taking a communication class about digital media. The instruction has nothing to do with digital media. It's entirely about social justice
Anyone else feel stuck in a dead end life? I have a shitty remote job, no obvious thing to leave to go do, nowhere in particular to go or live, and I’m old enough that I feel like it’s too late to really get on the right track.
I feel stuck and I do literally nothing all day, I wish I was in your position, all I want is a remote job but I'm too moronic.
>remote job
if i was a young, single guy with a remote job i'd probably go live somewhere in latin america for cheap. it's really easy to get residency and even citizenship in a lot of those countries.
The girl I pursued for a month blocked me on social media. Kind of wish rape was legal. I need to have a kid.
>I need to have a kid.
Judging by this reply alone, I'm glad you don't have a kid.
You’re a terrible person and probably female. In that case you should post breasts immediately.
>You’re a terrible person and probably female.
I'm not a chick but please explain why I'm a terrible person.
>I’m not a chick
Prove it
I've been wondering how to express things in writing without directly saying them? I don't want backlash like Rowling for calling out trannies
I'm having an existential meltdown in your passenger's seat. I do apologize. You have been an excellent uber driver.
Thinking of going to some kind of dominatrix/mistress type prostituerte and get her to tie me up and beat the shit outta me and make fun of my penis
Maybe that'd get it out of my system
Doesn't get it out of your system, just makes you crave it even harder
>t. certified degenerate
>Maybe that'd get it out of my system
Lol, you'll become regular there
The act of throwing a hand grenade is like shaking the hand of the person who's eating it.
Helluva way to say hi!
You are alone, you have nobody but yourself and this is what haunts you. But is it actually a problem?. I'm starting to see this from another perspective and history has showed me that loneliness is less hostile than it seems. What good does company bring forth if it can result in a negative experience?. Plenty of my fondest memories were by myself in a state of serenity.
I pray that none of you ever experience a urethral stricture, this thing is actually tanking my mental health.
My desire and my will are dull and limited. My life revolves around base consumption. Limited, routine, and empty the days pass by me.
There is no content to life or to my character. Easy compliance is my only defining personality trait, underneath only the fear of reprisal.
Others always remain other, exterior, to me.
My indifference to others is really a form of self-deceit. I am really extremely sensitive to the opinion of others because I lack self confidence, and so try to prevent the possibility of negative judgment from occuring.
I do not connect. Even when the other believes he's found a connection to me, is bonding, he is deluded.
Reciprocity is the base of everything but i don't internalize it. I feel vaguely the natural obligation to return a favor, but don't reciprocate out of fear I'm not sure of what.
All i look forward to these days is coffee, food, and on my days off alcohol.
Life should be more, or I should make more of it, but my indolence is all encompassing.
I do not know where I stand or where I'm going.
I'm going to have to figure some kind of way of conceiving of myself and my future witout her. It's been a while but I still think about her a lot, and it only really occurs to me now: I have to be something without her. It isn't really.. I mean it might matter to me, but it shouldn't be critical to what I am whatever went down between us, there should be a me that doesn't have to be stuck in this anymore.
Madness is an enviable freedom when you think about it. Despite the afflictions of the delusional, they have managed to escape the game entirely, even if only by retreating within and denying the world.
If you can see life from without you get tired of playing cause now you can see from without it's just a game..
Monopoly money or new player pieces. New expanses that are just re-formations of the old. Different superficial signals we invent or spend half our waking existence seeking. We don't get beyond it. How can men dedicate themselves to these things?
There are two kinds of adults that can escape from playing, the uber rich and the mad. The former is foreclosed to most people, and most rich people being uncreative, choose to keep playing anyway--keep hoarding trinkets or founding new companies. To keep signaling superiority or find new ways to display being on the top.
The mad are genuinely free in a way no one else can be. Free from the constraint of custom, convention, and status considerations.
Secretly we envy the freedom of the mad, in the same way we envy children's freedom. That envy can't be publicly, explicitly acknowledged without revealing the sickening mundane and unsatisfactory realities of normal life.
If a crazie wants he can roll around on the floor, or jerk off publicly, can you say the same?
Though they face the consequences from the other players, only the mad get to flip the board. We're stuck playing
Perhaps mental illness itself is caused by that desire for a total freedom which cannot be enjoyed in reality. Or conversely the total lack of freedom in real life.
it's more like "you still have to make your way in the world but none of your strategies or what you are expending energy on really makes any sense." Like, your world is still firmly constrained by a set or rules, but those rules aren't adapted to anything.
>but those rules aren't adapted to anything
In a way that's freedom Your own rules in your head don't match the rules of reality or society. You are not constrained.
Anyways I was being somewhat coy/facetious. If it didn't come through in the text that's my bad.
>I really dislike this Deleuzian-Guattarian take
Never read him, these are my own thoughts.
I actually work at a crisis center lol,
The anger my (half joking) post is arising though is starting to convince me that I'm on to something.
>Never read him, these are my own thoughts.
Sure thing - if you're interested, you can read them for an expansion of that take. Or someone like Laing (who writes much more clearly) or Foucault, who go for somewhat similar claims and run with them. The idea that madness can be an escape from the snaring confines of bourgeois morality was quite popular with the counter-culture of the 60's and 70's - and I'll agree there is some modicum of truth to it, but only a modicum.
I very recently started doing research in psychiatry myself, with a bit of clinical work as well. I get the impulse, I really do: there is something about that terrible idiocosmos of madness that can seem seductive and liberating, but I really am loath to call it freedom. Psychotics are usually governed by much more cruel, fickle and imposing rules than what common sense and social convention demands of the sane. The madman does not roll around the floor jerking off because he wants to - he will usually do so because he feels compelled to by incommunicable and apocalyptic forces entirely outside of his control.
I've never met a schizophrenic who cut up his own face, stabbed himself, or ate nails because he wanted to. I have met quite a few who did so because they thought the universe would end if they didn't.
Have no interest in reading grungy hippies.
But yes on that claim I agree with them based on my own observations, not that the mad are necessarily free in an actual sense, but that the disgust people express towards addicts and insane people is also a secret expression of jealousy for their unboundedness.
The piss-soaked girl in a onesie I admitted the other day is more free than me. She does not have to come in every day to the same boring job. She gets to walk around dazed in a piss soaked onesie.
How are addicts free?
Same way deeze nutz are free; by not wearing underwear
Alright, was hoping for some sincerity
They can walk around in a piss soaked onsie.
The fact that you work in a crisis center or whatever is a travesty
most nurses etc are pieces of shit welcome to real world
like, for instance, I'm about to check in with a moroccan guy who's in jail in Indonesia. He is in jail because he overstayed his visa. Why did he go to Indonesia? Because he believes that a "machine" whic has been sugically inserted into his face to facilitate his breathing (this is true) is being used by some entity to inert vaious people and their personalities into his mind, trying to control him and make him do things and so on (this is probably psychosis: my theory is that he is psychotic due to exposure to chemicals while he worked as a barber). He went to Indonesia hoping that they would help him remove the machine. What do I have to do with this? I payed for the trip, and I feel I have a responsibility for him. Why did I pay for the trip? Because I thought that it was what God wanted, and I thought that his story was credible because I also feel there is some kind of lateral movement between my own personality and the personalities of others; or at least I sometimes do, and I did. So I'm out about 1400$ trying to please God based on psychosis; and he's in jail half-way across the world because psychosis. Neither of us is "winning" by jerking off on the bus.
I really dislike this Deleuzian-Guattarian take.
Yes, people in the unfathomable depth of a psychotic episode are freed from all bounds of social convention and common sense. So is a wild animal. Speaking of freedom in this regard is a profound misunderstanding of what is desirable about freedom.
im going to tell you the truth about madness as someone who had a psychotic episode. Its the scariest thing in the world. No "freedom", just a cold sweat and extreme paranoia. Just seeing patterns in things that arent really there. there is no freedom when you feel as if you lost control of reality and there are outside entities trying to control and harass you
How did it start for you?
i was researching the idea of "unity of opposites" and came to the conclusion you could see it in everything from the sun and moon forming an eclipse, to the yin and yang, to the snake eating its tail
then i started seeing patterns in music and albums involving the moon and the sun and thought i had come across some sort of hidden competition between the races through music
The rusted chains of prison moons
Are shattered by the sun
I walk a road horizons change
The tournament's begun
theres a lot more that involves satan, gang stalking, sigils, david bowie, and buddha but im too tired to write it, just ended up at a psych ward twice and was diagnosed as a schizo, now i have to get a shot once a month
oh yeah, also i can rationalize everything away, but the one thing i could never understand was when youtube started talking to me though thumb nails on the front page. everytime i refreshed it was about satan or mocking me lol
Did you notice the psychotic episode coming or it just happened out of nowhere?
According to the mechanic, another new fight club rule is that fight club will always be free. It will never cost to get in. The mechanic yells out the driver’s window into the oncoming traffic and the night wind pouring down the side of the car: "We want you, not your money.”
The mechanic yells out the window, "As long as you’re at fight club, you’re not how much money you’ve got in the bank. You’re not your job. You’re not your family, and you’re not who you tell yourself.”
The mechanic yells into the wind, "You’re not your name.”
A space monkey in the back seat picks it up: "You’re not your problems.”
The mechanic yells, "You’re not your problems.”
A space monkey shouts, "You’re not your age.”
The mechanic yells, "You’re not your age.”
Here, the mechanic swerves us into the oncoming lane, filling the car with headlights through the windshield, cool as ducking jabs. One car and then another comes at us head-on screaming its horn and the mechanic swerves just enough to miss each one.
Headlights come at us, bigger and bigger, horns screaming, and the mechanic cranes forward into the glare and noise and screams, "You are not your hopes.”
No one takes up the yell.
This time, the car coming head-on swerves in time to save us.
Another car comes on, headlights blinking high, low, high, low, horn blaring, and the mechanic screams, "You will not be saved.”
The mechanic doesn’t swerve, but the head-on car swerves.
Another car, and the mechanic screams, "We are all going to die, someday.”
This time, the oncoming car swerves, but the mechanic swerves back into its path. The car swerves, and the mechanic matches it, head-on, again.
You melt and swell at that moment. For that moment, nothing matters. Look up at the stars and you’re gone. Not your luggage. Nothing matters. Not your bad breath. The windows are dark outside and the horns are blaring around you. The headlights are flashing high and low and high in your face, and you will never have to go to work again.
You will never have to get another haircut.
"Quick,” the mechanic says.
The car swerves again, and the mechanic swerves back into its path.
"What,” he says, "what will you wish you’d done before you died?”
With the oncoming car screaming its horn and the mechanic so cool he even looks away to look at me beside him in the front seat, and he says, "Ten seconds to impact.
"Nine.
"In eight.
"Seven.
"In six.”
My job, I say. I wish I’d quit my job.
>took a constipated shit
>straining and painful
>first turd finally comes out
>shape and size of a tennis ball, rock solid
>apparently the tennis ball turd was blocking everything else
>as soon as it is out, it was like I was turning over a bucket full of small rocks that just fell out of my ass
God that felt so good. Y'know, I'll never understand anti-natalists. They'll kwetch about pain and suffering, but the pleasure I get after just a single constipated shit outranks all their suffering in the utilitarian calculus. They just need to learn how to appreciate the little things, y'know.
Oh yeah, the empty feeling when you diarrhead all over the toiler for 30 minutes is bliss.
Earbuds in for some music, playing solitaire while cleansing your ass out.
Life's simple pleasures.
I’m starting to think that if you don’t end up in the right career at some time in your twenties, you’re just fricked in the long term.
>starting my dream job on the career path I want 8 days before I turn 30
THANK GOD MAN
Maybe you’re safe…unless your dream job turns out not to be your dream job…
I'm too far gone. I don't think my mother will ever feel like a mother in my presence again. The child that I was has been dead for a long time. I'm an empty husk, wearing the face of man, wandering away—Always away from the ones who knew me, to the point that I could be truly dead and things wouldn't change in the slightest for my loved ones.
They already know all of this but we still play that game. They'll jokingly call me 'the Legend'— as in the person they see once or twice every 3 years— and I'll just smile politely. Right now I am so remote from any lifeform that I could entertain a criminal life and no one would notice. No one can notice if they never see you.
Strong urge to flash my penis in the Zoom meeting.
Sometimes, Alaska sits in the water with her knees to her breasts. The canal that flows past the street is shallow, only covering her feet and bum. The other day, she was sitting there in a summer dress, making pouty faces when people were around, but then making duck faces by herself. I saw her do that because I check on her from time to time by looking out my window from my house to make sure she's okay. She's not out there right now, but I wonder why she does that and if she'll be back. Right now, I'm cooking a four course meal for myself, because I don't know how to meal prep. I got a lasagna, a pizza, a rotisserie chicken, and a plastic box of assorted fruits and veggies. If she comes back out, I'm gonna ask her out. I'll make sure to wear my swimtrunks, or she will probably think I'm not serious.
Starting to realize that college is just a playground for 20 year olds
My family is now beginning a war over who should get to keep my brother's ashes. I really hate my family
pozzing negholes
This coffee has me wired. I don't like it. I rarely drink coffee because of this.
so I can almost feel the neurons firing inside my skull. In a literal sense I guess I can. And that's all there is; frick this shit, honestly.
at this very moment i have no idea what i'm doing with my life
i have thoughts of killing people and i feel like such a gay for it. my cortisol is like skyrocketing all the time, I've been binge drinking more and it shows on my skin, I look like some shit is rotting inside me
Read The Mind Parasites by Colin Wilson
The internet says it got really bad reviews
>I've been binge drinking more and it shows on my skin, I look like some shit is rotting inside me
been there, wondered what mysterious reason might have been happening to the fact that my skin started to look horrible, never finding the ability to blame my wonderful happy water that makes life bearable, to this day I find the necessity to blame other things that weren't alcohol on my skin becoming so fricking terrible. It wasn't that, it made me happy, there must have been some other reason.
Drink more water and stop hating yourself bro.
Way more water than you think. Your piss should be almost as clear as water at all times. If you're pissing yellow more often than first thing in the morning, you're not optimally hydrated.
Literally the easiest and most effective way to get better skin.
My roommate and I have decided that enough is enough, we need to evict our third roommate. She’s not on the lease, so we’re going to give her notice that she needs to move out by the end of September. She has no real choice but to leave, but if she refuses we’ll have to go through the whole process of getting our landlord’s permission to change the locks. No doubt she’s going to do everything in her power to make us miserable over the next month though. I’m dreading it.
Oh I remember you. You're the one who made her wait to pee
what did she do?
A bunch of things. She’s basically been bullying us, making nasty comments, and making us walk on eggshells for months. She has unreasonable standards about dishes—like we all generally clean up after ourselves and are pretty tidy, but she’ll get all curt and angry if she sees even a single water glass left on the counter—and she gets all hostile and agressive if she sees either of us in the common areas and will start muttering curse words. She gets upset about us leaving our bedrooms at night to go to the bathroom because she claims the sound of us quietly opening and closing the bathroom door wakes her up. Most recently she broke a small appliance that belonged to me and has refused to replace it or pay me back.
Sounds like a dommy mommy
It sounds like she's really uncomfortable in her environment and maybe you should try communicating with her.
Sorry for the loss of your kettle anon, that's a tough one
>is the seat of "western" civilization
>is over 5000 miles east of me
who even comes up with this shit?
Anon discovers that geolocation doesn't determine cultural influence
it's literally in the same timezone as the congo
HOLD ME CLOSER TONY DANZA
I just read that Lysenko insisted that cuckoo's come into existence via metamorphosis, when a regular non-cuckoo bird is fed hairy caterpillars while it's very young. He didn't even fricking know that the cuckoo lays it's eggs in other birds nests.
If his wife bore him a completely black son, he would probably insist it was because she had eaten some chocolate during pregnancy.
Soviet science really is profoundly moronic. I didn't know much about it before reading up on it, but apparently, Lysenkoism wasn't just theoretical idiocy, it caused millions of russian death via famine once applied, and is widely considered to be a great contributor to the great chinese famine of 1959-1962 that killed between 15 and 55 million people, along with the Great Leap Forward.
Meanwhile, the soviets executed some 3000 biologists who weren't lysenkoists for the crime of not being moronic.
God commies suck so fricking hard.
You can choose almost nothing in life, choice itself is largely antithetical the the nature of the universe. You WILL be born. You WILL suffer. You WILL die even if you cling to life. You WILL be harmed and watch your body and very consciousness decay as you slowly creep towards the grave. You will NOT avoid this. You will NOT live forever. Your life will NOT be pleasurable for even remotely fair. You WILL produce more sufferers through sexual relations. You WILL put them through the same problems of human life as you did. You WILL force their eyes open to the abject horror of nature. You WILL watch as they become desensitized to the cosmic terror of existence. You WILL indoctrinate them into your coping mechanism of choice. You WILL die and abandon them to brave the terror forced onto them alone. You will NOT be wealthy or lucky enough to insulate them from even a fraction of life's ills and woes. They WILL do the same as you did.
And you will NOT be happy.
real unfortunately
except
>You WILL produce more sufferers through sexual relations
To have committed every sin but that of being a father
Girl seemed obviously uncomfortable on our third date and I just plowed through and ignored it, she showed up 15 mins late and I had already downed two old fashioneds. The friend who set us up invited us both out clubbing the weekend before and I ended up spending the night at her apartment making out but she didn’t want to frick. She seemed into it then, but I came on too strong on the next date and autistically ignored that she was clearly stressed and not into it. When she left I texted her to ask if I could come over, she ignored it and next morning said she had to pack, I asked to come over again that evening and now she’s left the country for two months and has blocked my number. Tonight I jerk offd and asked out another girl.
my cat likes to sniff and lick my armpits and im not sure how to feel about it
I feel so excluded bros
bro..
Just looked it up and it turns out you’re not real, sorry anon.
Doing my university mandated sexual violence training. These girls are talking about how their bf's would sexually abuse them. It's so hot bros, I am rock hard right now
your uni trains you how to do sexual violence?
Yeah I'm learning all about how to gaslight and manipulate
You a postgrad student or staff member? I can't remember ever doing safe campus bullshit until I landed a job at my uni.
It's required for all undergrads. Has been for a long time
>raskolnikov
>rascal
ohh…
if anyone knows skyking what would be a cool way to go out like he did
Growing old with your wife after having a boatload of children.
homosexual
based
something involving a steam rocket
Write a manifesto and set yourself on fire in time square or something
Just realized my brother and I are the last of our name and none of us have kids yet…
That shouldn't bother you
have sex then incel
>proceeds to frick OPs mom
Picture in picture needs an opacity settings.
can’t believe the j stood for jerome all this time