Absolutely love watching ugly women trying to look pretty. The second I identify a weakness, it's easy pickings for me. Somehow I am able to innately identify this masquerade and thus I feel extremely comfortable and confident in speaking with and occasionally manipulating them. It's as if I see the entire game and all the puppet strings and levers and buttons I can use to get people to behave how I want them to behave. It's honestly magic. All my exes and hookups have been ugly women that have tried to present themselves as beautiful.
He takes cares of his debt through stocks and other assets. Essentially, if the debts need to be settled he can give those to the bank to take care of it. I'm no economic expert too, but there is a loop hole he's using to take care of it.
There isn't even anything such as 'debt' in the 21st century.
>hey chud where's my paper? >hee hoo those shitters that you print haha Black personisraelite fudchud >you be printing all that mula from butthole huh? chudosaurus? hehe hoo hoo boo boo in tour mom's tushy kekerino
His whole thing is basically "use debt to build wealth." He makes his minimum payments with dividends he gets payed off of wealth he acquired using that lone money. Basically, if he liquified everything, he could more than pay his debts off. Paying the minimum is just more sustainable and allows him to build more wealth. That being said, recession ruins these kind of people and ultimately the banks that loaned them money, and as a result, anyone else that does their banking with them (innocent victims of the casualty). He is basically betting a ton of other peoples money that the economy stays stable until after his death and his assets are used to pay the banks. If he even intends to do that.
I walk unerring ere over failures of my own design, whence I should slip and fall it'll atleast be a fate of my own make, wrought oft by those of similar kine.
2022 and 2023 were years of massive creative growth. Successful by my own metrics.
2024 was supposed to be a year of delivery, of the bearing the fruits of my hard work. So far, a failure, by nearly any metric. I 99.99% won't win any of the contests I submitted to, but I hope I can at least place 2 or 3 of the stories I'd written. Frick bros, shit sucks balls.
i was using speedrunning loosely in my original post that the other anon was replying to
my point is that a lot of people just seem to read things in a hurry or play them in a hurry just to feel that they finished said thing
i've met so many moronic homosexuals who say shit like >bruh, i read all of [x] when i was 16
which shows because if you ask them a single thing about it it's like they hadn't read it at all
I pass the time at my shitty retail job by leering at the women who pass through. Most of the young women are quite beautiful. The uggo's must not leave the house very often. I think this is doing immense damage to any potential ability I might have had in talking to women. An endless stream of Venus' buying things. They walk in, browse around a bit, buy something, leave. They may as well cease to exist once they leave my eyesight. I see them more as alien objects of immense beauty, like a Greek marble, than as people you can talk to and interact with as humans. For all the terrible things I read and hear about them it does not register in my head that these could possibly be the same beings. They do not wake up with bedhead. They do not conceal gross pimples with makeup. They do not possess repulsive personalities or insecurities. They are just agents of the demiurge sent to torture me. Unobtainable perfection.
Frick you, I ascended through will. Even I could do it, though in part.
To explain, a while back I sperged out and cut off all things sexual and my sexual desire too. It came after a long while spent frequently looking at porn. I would go on a certain site, open up a bunch of drawings, making sure to utilize the tags so that the chances of the content in them being nothing but "naked or clothed woman just sitting around doing something or lazing about" and I would spend hours every time opening up hundreds of drawings like that and every time I would ignore the naked bodies and stare the girls dead in the fricking eye, for minutes at a time, for every single drawing, and the whole time I would basically think nothing. No, I do not know what the frick made me do that and I never will. Eventually I flipped out in the middle of this, and swore to never feel lust or look at a woman weird ever again. I don't remember the exact reasons, but basically I thought that it was disrespecting them, disrespecting myself, and most importantly disrespecting those around me. A decent amount of time has passed since then and so far I have successfully blocked all forms of lust and arousal.
I have not once looked at something sexual, not intentionally at least, and the few times that I did look at them I felt no lust or arousal. It's not that I had to control myself, the thing simply did not work on me. I do not feel pent up in the least. I have felt the slightest bit of temptation in certain things though, not those things that are intentionally made sexual but simple things like a smile, or a hand. Even then it was not the usual "lust" that I am used to, but something more primeval and fundamentally slightly different. The few times that I feel it, and it is very rare, I immediately direct my "attention" on that feeling itself and it disappears as if it had never existed at all. When I have it, it feels like a sort of genuine threat, like it would bring me severe harm if I do not put my attention on it and destroy it very quickly. Aside from this things have been going very well and I feel like a shitty Chinese knockoff of a holy man, as opposed to the usual, which is a shitty African knockoff of a human being.
These days I do not dream of or think of women sexually at all. Not of men either, I'll tell you that before some c**t chips in. That being said though, every single day, especially in bed, I imagine myself holding the hand of or hugging a woman. That alone hasn't changed, hurray.
Something interesting did happen today though. I woke up earlier than usual to a boner, and sensing that something is off I put my full strength into preventing ejaculation, which worked. Then I went back to sleep. I can say for certain that I had had no sexual dreams, nor did my penis chafe against something or anything like that. Anyway, I slept for a while more and then when I woke up again I found out that I ejaculated in my sleep. My hypothesis is that after I went back to sleep the boner popped up again and did its thing, this time with me being too busy sleeping to intervene. Was an absolute b***h to wake up to, I had no hand(haha) in the matter and so did not feel guilty, but it wasn't funny to wake up to wet underwear. But none of that shit really matters, what I wanted to tell you with this paragraph is that I managed to block ejaculation through force of will. Not the first time I managed to do that, and in the past I could do it even better. Many years ago I was just like I am today, filled with a hatred toward the sexual, and resisting it tooth and nail. Once a month or so, my penis would just try to ejaculate while I'm asleep, and I somehow managed to wake up every single time, and in my stupor I could force the fricking thing to stop. I would always wake up maybe ten seconds before it, and I could feel the liquid make its way up, then back down. I don't understand the physical specifics, but through an overwhelming distaste toward the action I could force the damn thing back down, and do it reliably too. I did it dozens of times back then. Isn't that just fricking amazing and bizarre? With a strong enough disgust you can block out your lust entirely and will your body into obeying you, thereby preventing ejaculation. In a sense it reminds me of mysticism.
I achieved a similar state some two years ago but it did not end that well for me. I steeled my mind as you did when one day I decided I needed to stop. In the regime I watched porn but did not touch myself, and so for 5-15 minutes. After a while, it all occurred to me as malevolently disgusting, as it is in its true light that can always subconsciously be felt. I did that a couple of times and after lost all interest to look at porn or jerk off altogether. I felt superior, for months my head was cleansed; I felt powerful and I respected virtues that women around me had. But after some time, I don't know if I was in a moment of weakness or madness I opened porn and looked at it for some 10 minutes controlling myself to not jerk off; I succeeded and imagined I still got it. But as if a demon had possessed me from that moment every second day or so I did the same thing, and I was feeling a weird feeling of invincibility and untouchability doing that. That went on for a whole month, I open porn, look at it like a madman, almost sadistically insulting the people who were in it, and in the next moment pitying them endlessly: "Poor woman, look at what she is reduced to; unfortunately, she is a wench..." I remember not even getting an erection many of those times. The story ends with me finding such a poor and wretched creature on some livestream (Stay away from that!!), she was as charming as she was pathetic; it strangely touched me, in my feeling of overpowering superiority over the creature, that she sometimes, fully clothed, sang and played the piano (rather badly). Later I deduced that she might have reminded me of one of those holy Dosto's prostitutes (yet now I understand that she and her kin are beyond, or not even in need of, redemption; and that redemption should be for myself only). With time I understood she was wretched because her "work" was dishonest, vile, arbitrary-- she chose to exploit, no one forced her, and at any time she could have stopped, yet she didn't. All in all, the piano meant nothing. The new and paradoxical relationship with my screen lasted miraculously for a month before I jerk offd to her stream and finished with thoughts of "doing the whole work all again, immediately", as I thought that this was the only mistake I would make, and I blamed myself fully for it. It was a terribly written tragedy, the stupid, useless rationale. Yet I fully believed in making the same effort to try my future redemption against the sad lapse of will... Now I know that I could not do it again because the essential extremity was gone (the absolute authority of a force almost beyond me which could turn me to stone in an instant), and so after the following months of fighting and falling I found myself jerking off about once a week: to me still, as I am writing this, a shameful and revolting fact. Reading your experience has reminded me of it all. And I swear right here and now to myself that I will do it again. Take heed.
i was having anxiety because i am afraid of death until i noticed a pimple under my left nostril which looks hideous. now i don't really think about my fear of death anymore and instead my mind is occupied with how disgusting my face looks to others and how they will perceive me.
is this really all there is? constant existential dread which is at times exchanged for self-concious hate for myself? why do positive thoughts not distract me? i would like to be content
Went to social security to pay some debt that I'm not even supposed to have, and when I talked to the girl at the front she called me a virgin loser, called her friends over, and they held me down, tore my pants and ripped my favourite Spongebob undies to bits. Then that girl called my penis small, and they forced me into a locker. Spent a few good hours there.
Well fine, that's not exactly how the story went, but I fricking wish it was the case. It'd have been less of a pain that way. She told me to call the orangutans from my last job and close the thing, so I called them and told them to close the thing. Well obviously I have no clue what the thing is and how you're supposed to "close" it, so the b***h at the other side of the line was confused. I tried to explain it again but neither of us understood what I called her to do, so she just pretended to be switching me to other people, twice, and when she found out that I'm still patiently waiting she told me that the people who close the thing are away and that I should call later, (preferably) when she isn't on phone duty and does not have to put up with me. Now I am at home and want to kill the moron who invented bureaucracy and all that other bullshit. I'll try again tomorrow and probably get called a loser virgin for real, I have been contemplating whether to reply "at least I don't work at customer service!" or not, should such a thing happen.
You know what I really hate though? Being told by some fuzzy existence to just call some other fuzzy existence and tell them to do some fuzzy thing, like what happened here. It's so fricking insufferable and humiliating. I've been thinking on the way back home and I still have no clue what is supposed to be closed and why, so how the frick would I even word it to some third party? In this case I literally told the woman "uh yeah...there's this thing that needs to be closed...I came to talk to you about that..." and it's no fricking wonder she didn't understand. With the particular tone used, you'd think that I came to talk to her about the international effects of my thing not being closed or whatever. I wish these people would just tell me what I need to do, straight and clear. Anyway, is there anybody here who is trans? I want to get run over by a train.
next time tell the social worker to call the employer, with you on her side. The social worker will be able to explain the matter to the other bureaucrat.
Im kinda going through the same thing. unemployed and I need to have my thing open and registered which it is and I am paying for it to be open and registered because it is necessary now that I am unemployed but the person whom is supposed to know whether it is open and registered can't see that it is so. so I looked and saw that it was so but I have to contact another branch of the same beurocracy and ask them whether it is open and registered but I have an inkling that it doesn't really matter at least not until the last of april but I don't know for certain so now I am in limbo unsure if I should be doing more or be panicing because it might be more or less important that it is open and registered I don't know for certain. I just wanna game and think about writing man frick this shit
so many books i want to read but i literally cannot tear my eyes from my screen i want to read everything and understand everything without thinking too hard why am i stuck fantasizing without trying
I'm gonna write a nice, long, wholesome message to an old teacher of mine. My uncle (who is a teacher himself) said that it's a good idea and that if he were to receive one from one of his students that he would be over the moon.
Anyone else notice that the millennials involved in the creative space love to talk in non-sequitors? It's like they know they have nothing valuable or interesting to say so they just try to be obtuse
The truth is, without accepting some moral truths arbitrarily, his point cannot be refuted. Any number of atrocities, which I will now list, are irrefutable: >1. Child Rape Farm
Children are raised from a young age with the use of drugs and therapy to enjoy being raped. Perhaps they will be surgically modified for this purpose or, if nothing else, they will be given drugs and such to forget or not be aware of what is happening. >2. Modification of Human Fetuses
Well, a fetus isn't a PERSON so it doesn't have rights. Do you want a human body to rape and frick all day? Surgically remove the brain, or modify it so that the fetus will no longer have any conscious thoughts or feel any pain. Then it will (assuming good surgical science and such) grow normally like a human but torturing, butchering, raping, and other things will cause no harm. Want to rape a fetus? Go ahead! Rape it straight out of the womb? Why not?! Rape it at every stage of its life, or just eat it. Again, at NO POINT is a human being's freedom EVER limited or injured. The fetus NEVER WAS a person and NEVER BECOMES a person at any point in time. It NEVER has a conscious thought. >3. Human Flesh Factory
What matters isn't what a thing IS— all "things" are social constructs. Therefore, there is nothing really morally wrong with substituting that beef with human meat from ETHICALLY MODIFIED human fetuses grown for sustainable food production. What are you, some kind of chud? Human meat, if given the right additives and flavor injections, tastes and looks exactly like beef. It is identified as beef. Beef is a social construct. You are eating BEEF. It might not be cis-DNA beef, but it's beef. Now eat your human flesh, goy. >4. Indoctrination for total degradation
If the idea is harm or suffering, then it is theoretically possible to socially engineer humans to be okay with horrific degradation and indignity from a young age, or perhaps genetically modify them for this purpose. Would anyone be harmed? No, of course not. And they'd be okay with being indoctrinated— ask them how they feel, and they will reply "I'm glad Chairman Sandberg and The People's Democratic Socialist Republic of Disney(TM) has reduced violence so much and made it so that society functions smoothly, and I'm glad that we get to service and please them in any way possible! Long live the Revolution!" >5. Assisted Suicide of Small Children
Suppose that there is a child that has depression following an episode of severe school bullying. What right have you to limit his or her freedom to commit suicide? Well, one could argue that the child doesn't "know" what they want. But how do you know that? How do you determine consent? How do you determine when the child can consent to death? Countries like Canada are already moving to allow young children assisted suicide due to depression. I don't even need to argue on this philosophical point, because the line has already been crossed.
For anyone with a conscience, the last one is obviously evil, but you can say nothing except: >Well... what IF they become happy?
So what? If they are unhappy now, you can just kill them and reduce their suffering. And they have a right to do what they want with their own body, right? Even if they COULD be happy at some point in the future, the future itself is a social construct. It doesn't exist. Therefore, kill the little b***h.
All of this cannot be refuted without simply saying: >Some things are horrible and evil because... because they just are, okay?!?!?!?
And I want a book that will go into detail about intuition as the only basis for morality, because the way that society is headed is extremely fricking grim.
Last night I got into a fight with my mother after she told my father to get off my back. She single-handedly distracted me from my studies and when I tried to resume she told me that I was not allowed to pursue any of them. It is not her fault, ultimately, but she should know when to shut up.
I also got shouted at by a stranger who accused me of being a child abductor and "rapist", merely because I was sitting on a park bench and I got there two minutes before she did. She then proceeded to beat her children. I was tempted to call the police, but I think she could easily worm her way out of the situation and I had little to no evidence that I could provide. I was not set in going to jail for the night.
This morning I was told by a neighbor that my driving is erratic. I know this and I would surrender my Driver's License, but my mother is forcing me to have one, so she is able to turn me in with actual documentation if I actually do something wrong (I threatened to do a bad deed to a therapist if she elected to hire one).
I have some legal documentation to give to the court today (nothing criminal, I swear), but I am seriously considering a hermetic lifestyle, since I have few people that ultimately trust me.
I am a God Fearing Man and I know that I will never be one of the elect and see myself to Heaven, almost nobody goes to Heaven in the first place. Maybe it would be better to become an Atheist, so I could live with myself being unlikable and dishonorable. I have broken half the Commandments, anyway.
Yeah, that is why I want to surrender my license and the reason why I sat on that park bench in the first place. I was alone before, that is the only way that I am not an annoying gay. I hate myself for making the therapist comment which is an eight year old remark at this point, but nobody forgets things like what I said then.
Allow me to put it to you this way, if I do what I can trust myself to do in life, things will be alright, as it stands now, I am being stretched beyond my capacity. What I said is only half of me, the other half is that I volunteer at a library, act as a caretaker to my father who suffered a stroke nearly six months ago (he is still recovering) and I am also a student in college.
Feel free to tell me to frick off, anon. I have been told that about five times this week.
sorry, you aren't communicating that clearly and i take this stuff for granted.
do you have a learning disability? and/or claim disability? im not hating.
but i dont understand how you are being a nuisance to people, cant you just stay in your lane (literally and figuratively), acquire some hobbies, improve yourself?
or what pressure is making this too difficult?
1 month ago
Anonymous
Neither, actually. My mother wanted a psychiatric evaluation because both she and my father think I have gone mad. Also they think I am mad for asking if I could buy Francium, since I wanted to tinker with it (this happened at age 16, when I was in chemistry). I know that is not what a therapist is for, but that is what my mother thinks the purpose of a therapist is (her mind is slightly addled from when she did cocaine [this would be when she was in high school, she is now 55]).
1 month ago
Anonymous
Also, I have hobbies, my mother hates my hobbies because they take up space. Cycling is one of my hobbies, that got me into trouble last night. Flying radio controlled aircraft is another hobby, but I break federal law when doing it (I do not want to spend $250 on a government tracker, to quote a certain meme "I Hate the Antichrist"). (Yes, jannies, I know I am incriminating myself, please bear with me, since this is a minor law and there is absolutely no way to enforce it in the United States).
In the literal sense, no. Even driving schools have given up on me, which is funny, because a pilot academy that I went to said that I was perfect.
1 month ago
Anonymous
Also, I have hobbies, my mother hates my hobbies because they take up space. Cycling is one of my hobbies, that got me into trouble last night. Flying radio controlled aircraft is another hobby, but I break federal law when doing it (I do not want to spend $250 on a government tracker, to quote a certain meme "I Hate the Antichrist"). (Yes, jannies, I know I am incriminating myself, please bear with me, since this is a minor law and there is absolutely no way to enforce it in the United States).
In the literal sense, no. Even driving schools have given up on me, which is funny, because a pilot academy that I went to said that I was perfect.
did you have friends at school? have you been diagnosed with autism?
1 month ago
Anonymous
Friends, yes, they were jerks, though and I wound up trying to arrange a "friend" what he called an "Enjo Kusai" relationship. I did not know that I would be bordering on a procurer.
Autism is a weird story, the answer is no, though. After consistent screenings. I am sensitive to light and sound, but I think that is just a sensitivity.
>I am a God Fearing Man and I know that I will never be one of the elect and see myself to Heaven, almost nobody goes to Heaven in the first place. >I have broken half the Commandments, anyway.
Same. I wonder if there's any fun to be had in realising how fricked up you are.
Not really, every bit of my life is a chore at this point knowing what I have done. The only commandments I have not broken are the first, second, sixth and seventh. The eighth was the first one I broke at the age of two and around that time I beat up a kid, gave him two black eyes and a bloody nose.
>anon still feels immense guilt for something he did as a barely conscious toddler
Learn to forgive yourself, man
1 month ago
Anonymous
I guess, but I nearly murdered my mother at knifepoint when I was 12. That was eight years ago too. I was almost taken in an attempted murder charges. The circumstances were similar, my mother blocked me from doing my studies, where I was working on a 15 page paper on Ancient Greek Military structure and tactics. It is too recent for me to forgive.
1 month ago
Anonymous
Also, please jannies, do not ban me for speaking of this. Yes, I am aware of what I did and what rule I violate for speaking of it, but it was already handled afterwards and is in the past, which to a few on here, is the distant past.
1 month ago
Anonymous
>my mother blocked me from doing my studies
What do you mean by this? She asked you to take out the trash or something?
1 month ago
Anonymous
No, she said to stay in my bedroom and that unless I state my intention, she will call the authorities on me. She nearly called them last night because I did a poop instead of a pee, though I originally went to the bathroom for a pee.
1 month ago
Anonymous
Buddy you need to move out
1 month ago
Anonymous
My parents determine whether I work and what I work on, my mother said none of the money that I would earn by working, my father said I have enough stress as it stands and that working would just lead to me sinking even lower. If I move out, I will be homeless, daily bread will not want too serve me due to allergies and becoming a liability.
I have dealt with my mother long enough to know how to live and handle her for the time being.
based pee/poo switcherino.
i don't know if you're playing a character, but if you aren't i hereby officially diagnose you with autism.
Nope, not a character, so I guess I am.
1 month ago
Anonymous
based pee/poo switcherino.
i don't know if you're playing a character, but if you aren't i hereby officially diagnose you with autism.
I read it, I see the similarities, but at least I am not in St. Petersburg (I am actually American, so at least I am not there or in Ufa). From what I have heard, Ufa is the Camden of America.
>Husbands childhood crush is still in our lives because of their families. >Literally the girl he lost his v but at least only have to see her a few times a year. >Me and husband have baby >He is nearly 4 years old now >Since he was born he was always drawn to her. ie at a gathering would stop crying when she held him or would cry when taken away from her >Always running up to her when he sees her and wanting to interact with her
Wtf is going on and why is this annoying me so much
It’s one thing to be friendless at your age (I’m assuming you’re 25 or under judging by the demographic here) but if you’re my age (over 40) it’s somewhat expected unless you have what the kids call “rizz”
I honestly have no clue what "rizz" is. I mean, I still have one or two contacts from high school still, plus a girlfriend (who is too good for me, but she loves me deeply, so I accept her).
Is rizz appearance, because I look like I am 35-40 (what stress does to man), the doctor said my health was more comparable to someone of that age, I reached the health of a 30 year old at age 15, so quite literally, I am aging twice as fast as other people my age.
It does not help that I read classic lit and the newest music I listen to is probably Alien Ant Farm, which is a Xoomer band (I got mocked on IQfy for listening to them and thinking that they are a better band than Nirvana).
Okay, well that is something that I have little of. I am not that charismatic since, I dislike what most people my age like (Japanese cars like the Supra, rap music/jungle beats, Demon Slayer or flavor-of-the-moment shounen anime/manga).
>Last night I got into a fight with my mother after she told my father to get off my back. She single-handedly distracted me from my studies and when I tried to resume she told me that I was not allowed to pursue any of them. It is not her fault, ultimately, but she should know when to shut up.
Please elaborate.
I am a student in college. I live with my parents. My mother and father are often at odds with each other over a common interest of my education. My father usually gets information before my mother because he asks me before or after I am tending to my studies, my mother has a habit of doing that in the middle of my studies. She has a habit of interrupting me and by causing this argument, it not only affected her ability to collect information, but also my father's ability to ask. I got mad at her for that, since, in my eyes, my father did nothing wrong, for saying that, I was locked away in my bedroom and told that unless I am to directly apologize to her and speak in the right tone at the right volume, she will allow for me to eat dinner. I refused, but elected to depart the household for a short period of time (the "park bench" incident), I came back and was escorted (with a firm grasp around my wrists, which were behind my back) to my bedroom with no alternative but to sleep. I attempted to disobey her, since I had assignments due that night and she cost me a whole lab report because of her stunt.
>Husbands childhood crush is still in our lives because of their families. >Literally the girl he lost his v but at least only have to see her a few times a year. >Me and husband have baby >He is nearly 4 years old now >Since he was born he was always drawn to her. ie at a gathering would stop crying when she held him or would cry when taken away from her >Always running up to her when he sees her and wanting to interact with her
Wtf is going on and why is this annoying me so much
your kid is probably like that with many others but you're noticing that interaction. all kids are like that.
...why am i reading such a normie comment here?
I can't share any of the music that I like with any of the women I know because all the music I like is about love and romance, what can I say? I'm a sucker for soul music.
This homie acting all exceptional when women love that shit.
No, I don't want to be like "Hey, check out this song that I like" and then them take it as me hitting on them because I sent them Let's Stay Together by Al Green.
I feel good, then I feel sad. Whenever I feel good, I anticipate the coming sadness. Whenever I feel sad, I anticipate the coming goodness. I don't like it. It's the same feelings, worries, anxieties, hopes, expectations, etc. Every day. I'm trapped in my own head. I've ruminated on my thoughts for so long that I no longer gain any new insight.
Nothing breaks my heart like the human tragedy of a mother with an invalid child. She would go to the ends of the earth if her kid could get better. A man would want nothing to do with it.
I'm good at absolutely nothing. Everything I try feels impossible despite all the time and effort I've sacrificed. The hobby I've been working on for 10 years, that I've poured over 15k hours into? Yep, still shit at it. There are 14 year olds who mogg me. I still can't help but feel there's something out there that I would be naturally good at.. but I just haven't found it yet. Any of you anons been through this? Did you end finding 'your thing' or not?
>The hobby I've been working on for 10 years, that I've poured over 15k hours into? Yep, still shit at it. There are 14 year olds who mogg me
What's the hobby anon? Anyway the point of hobbies is to enjoy doing them, not to be the best
>14 year olds mogg me
what helped me is getting rid of the dick-measuring mindset, it's just compare and despair. fish can't climb trees that well, but so what
if your goal is to improve, then you should be only looking at your past self, not other people >'your thing'
i'm just content with doing things i enjoy, whether i'm good/bad at them doesn't matter to me
>me. I still can't help but feel there's something out there that I would be naturally good at..
Why? There's very few people naturally good at anything. Most people are only good at anything because they got good, not started that way. And tbf if you're not one of the super rare people born with perfect pitch or extra taste buds or the ability to remember everything you ever saw or did or whatever, it's not like the talent is going to suddenly show up now. All those freaks of nature get found pretty early.
i'm shit at everything too. All I'm good at is being NEET and spending the day on the internet.
I tried day trading and I suck at it. I lose money when i do what seems right, when i do what seems wrong, and when I do random things.
I tried making money by buying and selling stuff on ebay and so on, it didn't work.
I tried being on welfare and i got nothing.
I tried to go the university and I just suck at following courses and at research too.
recovering from a sinus infection and nosebleed right now
i had a nosebleed like this about 8 years ago. the smell of the dried blood brings nostalgia like nothing else. i miss college, had some good times
The more I read the Gospels the more I realize that there are an awful lot of people that have taken verses specifically applying to Jesus Himself and tried to universalize them to apply to all humans, and civilization more broadly.
Like the line during the Passion about "put your sword back into its sheath." People read this as Christ endorsing pacificism broadly but I just don't think that's the case. Christ doesn't want Peter to defend Him from the mob because if the mob doesn't take Him, He won't be crucified, and then the entire reason for Him being incarnated on Earth won't come to pass. It's not a general forbidding of violence, it's a specific instance where Jesus cannot let one of His followers interfere with His destiny.
And there's tons of verses like these, where I've noticed certain people (many of whom aren't really Christian) try to make them apply to humanity as a whole, but in the context of the Gospels they apply specifically to Jesus, or to a specific situation He is talking about or dealing with.
Of course, who doesn't? From what I know many cultures have independently developed a hatred of lies and liars, which I think is very interesting. There's something about lies in specific that is very evil.
To be honest though, I don't really care about the father of lies or what the average guy thinks about them. What really scares me is the idea that I would lie to somebody I like, or that I would lie to somebody else and the person I like would somehow learn of this and forever know me as a liar.
Sometimes I think about that one love song I used to listen to. Unlike normal love songs it did not whine and b***h at all, the lyrics were very simple and elegant, overflowing with optimism. It was in a language just similar enough to mine to be both intelligible and exotic at the same time, and the pronounciation of the singer was interesting. I think that part of the special feelings that I hold towards this one song originates from this, many years ago back when I was a young kid I decided to "reject" my language and "people" for various reasons, and this song is the only real sort of interaction that I have with the language, culture, and people. For maybe two or three years now though I have not listened to it, at some point I started developing this emotional connection between this song and a certain someone, so now it hurts to listen to and I don't even dare to do so. I would like to eventually listen to it again though.
I was making money from playing video games until I quit a few months ago. I want to go all-in on literature now. That aside, I currently listen to like thirteen-to-fourteen hours of classical music a day, I'm utterly ensorcelled and completely hooked. You?
I also want to go all-in on literature right now but I’m in this weird headspace where I’m sort of depressed so I’ve been avoiding both reading and writing. I really wanted to get something published this year and that didn’t happen.
Other than that, I have things I like but nothing I spend much time on. I really have to find one or two other hobbies just to keep me sane, fit, and with a semblance of a social life I think. My life has gotten really stale…
I recently got on medication myself which strongly fills me with motivation, focus, and energy. Without which I'd probably be stuck in a rut as well, as I certainly was when much younger. That said, I'm sure passion will find you again shortly, it's natural to have ebbs and flows.
And by fourteen hours, I'm also doing other things while listening to the music of course. It is the highlight of my day though.
1 month ago
Anonymous
Idk I think my health is not quite right. I don’t really know what to do to resolve it. How come you don’t make money gaming anymore?
1 month ago
Anonymous
I stopped playing. And damn, sorry to hear that. Have you considered medication then?
1 month ago
Anonymous
I don’t know what medication I could benefit from at this point and getting serious tests from my doctor is like pulling teeth.
1 month ago
Anonymous
You should try self medicating. Weed, mushrooms, alcohol, cigarettes, lots of caffein. You want shit to really change? Meth, crack, fent. >but I can't get my hands on that stuff
Crack heads can, you can too.
Reading about history, culture and religion, particularly the Japanese kind.
What I really do is just stare at the wall everyday and wait for death, though. Engaging with my hobbies is a once-in-a-month thing.
One day a year or two ago I woke up, got up to wash my face, and the moment I saw my reflection in the mirror I spat on its face. No anger or anything like that, I just did it instinctively in the same way as you would catch a ball heading for your face or something. I wasn't even in a shit mood or anything like that either, my body just moved on its own and spat on the face of the tard looking back at me, no questions asked. I think that I may perhaps have a reenactment of this sometime in the future, except with a punch instead of spit. We'll see I guess.
Being alone for too long, like at least a year of barely going out, makes you feel like you're drunk even though you are completely sober. Time passes weird, your senses dull and sharpen in strange ways, your thoughts become more esoteric and abstract, your fetters to this world seem lighter than ever, reality starts to feel like some sort of dream you could wake up from at any moment, like Zhuangzi's dream about the butterfly.
Wow, thanks for reminding me of that passage. That is exactly how I feel. There are times throughout my day that I see myself at 18-20 years old, surrounded by rain and storms, trying to wake up from this nightmare; I can quite literally feel the gentle storm's spray and smell the rain. It is drawing me. Am I awake? The dreams are so real. I want to wake up— I see it at the bottom of the bridge— consciousness. I want to let go so badly.
I've never been the "creative" type, yet as of late I have been feeling a nagging sensation somewhere within myself to create something. Though to be honest I don't even know what it is that I should create, a drawing, a short story, some mixture of both, or really, what its story and characters should be like. There is but the faintest, vaguest swirl of themes that I have enjoyed in other works I have seen or read floating around within my psyche, like some sort of primordial soup, that feel like they could be formed into something. Yet I feel like if I truly had something worth saying, that image shouldn't be vague, it should be clear as day, clearer than reality itself. I probably just think I have something to say, or want to feel like I have something to say, rather than actually having something to say, I feel like this sort of thing is like being great at sports or anything else, if it was truly for me it wouldn't be in my mid-20s that I felt a calling towards it, but rather had it come to me naturally when I was five and have it feel like an integral element of my self by now. What portrait of any artist worth taking seriously would start by the time most others are already done "becoming artists" and are ready to create the uncreated conscience of their race?
I seriously want to go back in time to middle school. My life is just fricked. There's nothing I can do. I can't take this anymore. I just go to bed screaming and crying every night. I want to die so bad. Just what the frick am I supposed to do
telling strangers to go frick themselves on the internet is wacky anon
1 month ago
Anonymous
Hell yeah brother. Very wacky!
Why are you torturing me
1 month ago
Anonymous
Nobody is torturing you. How did you get to a point where a small light-hearted mockery can hurt you? I have no idea what you're living through but I'm 95% sure it's no big deal. People on this site like to complain.
What's so shit about your life?
1 month ago
Anonymous
My hands and legs and skin fell off.
1 month ago
Anonymous
I suppose you're typing with your dick then. Looks fun.
1 month ago
Anonymous
I use two buttons and a joystick with my tongue. It's broken so it gives me a small electric shock every time I use it. brb a monkey just threw shit into my open wounds so I'll have to spend the next week cleaning it. I was in love with that monkey, I thought we would marry one day.
1 month ago
Anonymous
That's nothing. When I had malaria for the third time one of my balls fell off. It itched a lot but I couldn't do anything lest I would lose the other ball. And it was all for nothing because in the end I got mega-cancer (it's a rare thing, not many people have it, it's when the doctor puts a finger up your butthole to find prostate cancer and THAT fiddling gives you ball cancer + leukemia) and lost my second ball anyway. Then my wife left me, I became an alcoholic and my kids don't respect me anymore. Also the loss of the balls created a chemical imbalance of testosterone vs estrogen and now I got b***h breasts. The end.
1 month ago
Anonymous
I actually meant it. Don't know what to do in life. Do some shit no one is expecting and then react to the ramifications for a while. Even if it is just telling some rando on the internet to go frick himself. I have given you a course of action in these replies. You are welcome.
I'm thinking about writing something based on one of the worst things that has happened to me. Maybe it'll help me to work through it or to at least funnel the energy.
This is what I'd be basing it off of. My grandpa was murdered by two of his employees a few years back when they set the building on fire. Police lied about what they saw and we know this because of what their bodycam showed. The state appointed fire marshal ruled it was an accident and then turned around and said my grandpa set the fire the next. We had to hire private investigators and get in contact with politicians and the attorney general for anything to actually happen. The two employees bragged that they got away with it to the PI and it was recorded. Also the two guys would call my mom's work.
I'm a vapid person. I don't get any of the art stuff people like. I don't get movies and TV. Changing my life is hopeless
My life is hopeless
Maybe I should just be comfy with that. Trying anything else feels like torture
I don't think therapy is the answer for me I think it might be death instead
How am I supposed to connect with some normie therapist who can't understand me at all.
The only therapist success stories all come from normies who are s a d for stupid shit like >she left me >i can't have what I want >i can't stop drinking
5 years ago I lucked out and got a good therapist. The thing is- she didn't understand me. But she knew that, I guess, and instead of trying to solve a problem that she really couldn't deal with, she focused on the areas that we intersected as human beings. She made me feel a little human, for the first time in my life. I am fairly certain that she was my last hope in life of ever managing to fix my shattered brain.
Still, in my insecurity, I lied and said I was getting better à la Good Old Neon and attempted suicide.
I don't trust therapists. They can ruin your life. How am I supposed to feel comfortable talking to them knowing that if I slip up and say how I really feel my life will get really fricked up?
I didn't sleep at all last night. Now it's evening again and I'm not even tired. I also threw up for no apparent reason yesterday. Something's not right chez moi.
There was a a Mexican orphan on my cross-country team in high-school. I watched him stick his hand in a fire ant pile and let them crawl and bite all the way to his elbow. I watched him do it more than once. Later his arm would be swollen and covered in white capped pustules. Why would he do that to himself? I knew him since elementary school. He won a planking competition against our whole class once. I think he held a plank for something like twenty minutes. I think maybe he had a hard life.
I'm no Calvinist but sometimes I wonder if they were right about the whole predestination thing. Like, maybe some people were born to enter the Kingdom and some are here because others may find meaning in the way in which they fall, you know? I think I might be one of the latter category. There were times when it seemed like everything in my life, the whole universe, conspired to send me a message, to tell me that there was a greater meaning, a deeper understanding, out there, that if I turned away from the path I was on I would find something truly satisfying and fulfilling in a way none of the vices and dalliances I filled my hours with ever could. And you know what? The heavens opened and I saw signs and wonders, and afterwards I found that even with all that I couldn't bring myself to choose what was right over what was easy. I don't exactly believe in the fire-and-brimstone Hell like a Bible-thumping Baptist or something but I think it would be completely just for me to end up there at the end of all this. Not so much because of all my deeds but because I know, I fricking know, exactly what right and wrong are and I end up on the wrong side of that line, time after time.
I regret not moving around and doing more while I was young. Having never moved to a city or entered a legit career feels like having inadvertently opted out of doing anything in life.
I guess it depends on what your thing is. Literature? New York or similar. Tech entrepreneur? San Francisco, Austin, or similar. Academia? Whatever city the best college you get into is in. Alternatively, you can just go to the biggest city in your state or region.
These cities are literally pathetic except for new York but then you have to live in New York.
America is a beautiful land but the worst possible people and the worst possible government decided to exist here.
1 month ago
Anonymous
your city wont fix you
1 month ago
Anonymous
I literally just want to be in a city that is built for humans in mind. I'm not asking to be fixed. I'm fine. I just want to live in a certain place. But this government made it illegal to build cities like that
1 month ago
Anonymous
canada is the same. if i want to live in a 'walkable city' my options are very limited and my rent will be like 4k a month.
however small towns, usually have a main ave. a little like this, and are comfy as hell.
Having both gotten a decent job and seen a pretty decent portion of the world I can honestly tell you that I also feel like I don't and wont do anything in life. Nobody tells the goalposts are alive and they move around allot when you realize how mundane almost every action you can take truly is.
I think it’s just a prerequisite though. It’s not like it’s an achievement in itself. It’s just what needs to be the case to be able to do anything it seems.
Nights do not speak anymore, night lights do not shine anymore, spring doesn't smell anymore, going through the motions of stage 4 soulrot, stage 5 brainrot, crimson red alarm lights beeping and flashing, or so they should but they are silent nothing is possible anymore.
The no gf situation continues to be dire, despite efforts.
As I sit here considering what to write I think it's honestly not even worth elaborating on because you've already seen the exact same sort of post on this website ad infinitum. IQfy is just one big swirling vortex of suffering that doesn't ever change. I don't think posting about it will enlighten myself or others. There is no insight to be gained. The only purpose "tfw no gf" posts have is communal suffering, just a big empathetic circlejerk of melancholy and self-pity. I've seen literally thousands of these kinds of posts, and what good have they done me? I've gained nothing by it. They haven't helped me in my efforts. Have they helped literally anybody?
I'm starting to question the usefulness of venting on IQfy in general. It's nice to have a proverbial shoulder to cry on, even if that shoulder may as well be a brick wall, but I very rarely get something out of it. It literally is just venting, releasing some noxious psychic gas that otherwise would suffocate me in my daily life. It's basically the psychological equivalent of excretion.
I'm pretty sure >tfw no gf posting is just venting. No one expects shouting this into the void on IQfy of all places will actually do anything. Even this post is useless and serves no purposes other than to trump my current boredom before I go to sleep!
Why are we at the point where nearly all conspiracy theories are true and nobody is doing anything.
The shit everyone used to laugh and make fun of from the 60s to the 2000s just keeps being confirmed again and again.
You guys realize the video game Deus Ex was meant to be satirical and funny "haha what if all that shit people on usenet say was true"
The world was even shut down for a pandemic..
Literally every media figure you can think of has strong ties to some really awful shit that you'd think it was a satire from the Simpsons.
Literally what is going on anymore? This doesn't even feel like a nation or a world for that matter.
Even the biggest head in the sand close minded normies i know have adopted a "haha its all fricked anyway let's just have fun" mindset. Joking about being on a ton of drugs or having your system fricked by microplastics is just common now for people under 40. A news story about whose the latest pedophile involved in the occult comes out every month and everyone knows about it and they don't care and buy their music or movies anyway. Nobody cares.
Republics are the political tool used by the bourgeois to take power and kill kings, and the only mistake is that the peasants believed the bourgeois when they said the bourgeois will care about the cucks and remove the formal (ie legal) and the informal strata of the class system.
It is the true the bourgeois removed the legal strata, but not the informal one, and 250 years alter, the bourgeois still say ''everyone is equal (ie bourgeois and cucks)'' but they don't do anything about it , and protip they don't plan on doing anything.
During monarchies, there was no need for ghettoization, because legally there was a class system so people dint mix up in the first place.
So the next phase is to put all the poor people in the VR world and let the rich enjoy the physical world. The poor will have their society, own currency and of course these currency will worthless compared to the real ones.
digital dollar and UBI for billions of disposable coomers in VR life, used on e-prostitutes, porn, weed and videogames.
What drives me crazy about you conspiracy guys is that we literally have documented evidence of capital destroying the world, rich people forcing people into being indentured servants, American imperialism destroying nations( killing millions), CIA doing countless shady shit in the open, a lot of foods causing disease, urban planning as segregation, slavery (in jail), prices always go up forever, all federal politicians are corrupt, an entire world spanning progressive ideology is suppresed in America, half the population is neo-fascist and mentally insane, cops can get away with anything, media is corrupt, America is still filled with powerful warmongregers, an even worse version of protestant nationalism is upon us, and the culture has been stagnated since 2014. Why are you all caught up with nonsensical bullshit like israelites running everything, thinking every powerful person in the United States is a pedo, and gay/racist crap? I would quite literally be fine with another medicore status quo if it meant a lot of the issues I listed are at least suppressed for the first time ever, with the hope that stuff will change forever in our future. But we can't have that because half the population is insanely autistic for nonsense that's absent in objective reality
I'm not even trying to start a fight. I'm just ranting and confused about how people who obsess over useless crap ignore the real shit going on that's been talked about for decades
1 month ago
Anonymous
I think you made up a shadow in your head to get mad at. I'm literally not the person you seem to be frustrated with.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
A shadow is singular. I believe it's a very real system that's the cause of most of this
geo-politics isn't an arena many can change, so dumb bullshit is more entertaining. would you rather stare at a math equation you can't solve or watch tv?
Fair for now. America is not at a point where great change can actually happen
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
>a shadow is singular...
What on earth are you talking about. I'm not sure you read my post right at all.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
>Shadow
What do you mean by this? Are you saying I've made up a false situation in my head, the conspiracy people I'm confused by, that I'm wrong to think about our current system of society in America, or something else?
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
geo-politics isn't an arena many can change, so dumb bullshit is more entertaining. would you rather stare at a math equation you can't solve or watch tv?
i don't see myself living past 30. i've tried to change my life for the better. to network. all sorts of shit. no one is willing to give me a chance. i've prayed to god.
how am i supposed to live?
I've been so horny lately that I might just bite the bullet and download Tinder. I'm just sick of impotently cooming into napkins. Is this a mistake if I'm still a khv?
Unless you're hot or willing to swipe on fat chicks, your chances of landing some poon are next to impossible. Also, depending on how young you are, the women in your age range might say "not looking for hookups" in their bios, despite what people will try and tell you on the internet, young girls are a lot more prudish than you'd think.
>Unless you're hot or willing to swipe on fat chicks, your chances of landing some poon are next to impossible
Damn, that's sucks. Not even a chance if you're average-looking( barring landwhales, since that shit is gross)?
You might get one or two but looks will only get you so far if you're average, if you're average then you also need a great bio. And like I said, it depends on your age, if you're in your early 20s and you're openly saying that you're only looking to hook up, your chances are slim to none.
Get Tinder Bumble and Hinge and maybe others, do them all in parallel. Don't spend more than 5 minutes a day on each, get good at going in, swiping rapidly, and tuning back out. Don't even allow your brain to think about the individual girls you see, since 90% of them are bots and dead profiles. Tip: If they mention insta or snapchat/sc in their bio, it's a bot, and a ton of 6-7/10 "classic profile you'd expect to see on tinder" profiles (especially pretty girls with lowercase one-sentence memes) are dead profiles kept adrift by the app to make it seem like it's still active. Smile in all your pictures and try to look like a fun normal guy.
Kill your feelings, utterly destroy them preemptively so that you don't attribute any importance to being rejected or getting no matches, remember nothing matters and the whole thing is demented and half-scam half-fake anyway, so don't try to make sense of "the algorithm" or of anything in particular that happens to you on the apps.
Don't try too hard to be self-aware, it seems desperate, it's better to err on the side of being basic/boring than to be "too clever by half" and come across like you were agonizing and overthinking about your profile. Also don't lean too much into interests, remember these are women, they are only impressed by something if the herd vets you as an expert/high status version of that thing, otherwise you're safer saying "I like literature" than overly showing off that you actually know literature well. Be middle of the road when in doubt, but include some showoff of assets like being smart or funny or whatever, just remember to always do it in a way that seems natural.
Then get ready for a trickle of matches that may take weeks or months, if you're average looking. It's a numbers game so just do it in the background while you live your life and try to date decent women (women not on apps) normally, as a backup. Remember, try to limit it to 5-10 minutes a day max. DON'T chitchat for a thousand years with matches, establish common interests then go for coffee or a cheap date, be strategic with dates that aren't too far (uber $$) or too expensive. Be ready for flakes and ghosts, again kill your feelings and simply don't try to interpret it. Be yourself and see it as a possible thing to take a shot at but no big deal if it doesn't end up providing anything, worst case is you lost those 5-10 minutes a day for a few months.
Anything other than following this advice leads to madness and despair.
This is actually so fricking dispiriting. I'll keep your advice in mind in case I do end up downloading a dating app, but I think I'll just stick to real life for now. I've tried my hand at dating in real life once or twice, and it was already difficult and ended in disappointment, but Tinder and all these other services just sound like utter hellscapes
They are but think of it like applying for jobs. If you actually think of it as "applying for jobs," like it's some human process, you are going to see it as the most hellish and disgusting process ever filled with unfair dehumanization. But if you abstract from it and go "this is just the bullshit I gotta do mindlessly for 30-60 minutes a day until I get a job," it becomes tolerable.
will help you with your virginity at least
isn't it moronic to be a virgin in older age though?
1 month ago
Anonymous
>isn't it moronic to be a virgin in older age though?
Why would that be moronic? >Haha, you didn't stick your dick in a woman and then thrust for a little bit until you eventually came while leaving her disappointed in the process. And don't forget, you're most likely gonna get sweaty and gross in the process.
Doesn't that just sound super fun?
1 month ago
Anonymous
suit yourself, virgin
1 month ago
Anonymous
>I have rationalized sex! That means I don't have to worry about it anymore.
Being a virgin isn't necessarily moronic, poor eunuchs don't really have a choice. But THAT was moronic. Easy on the copium.
1 month ago
Anonymous
that's a very clinical view of sex, however somewhat accurate. the best thing about intimacy is the ability to feel unguarded with someone else. so while the act of fricking can be simple and crude, how it came to be is greater than the act itself
1 month ago
Anonymous
I assume how it came to be sort of went like this. >Caveman: Ug (points to gross caveman penis and then points to gross cavewoman vegana) >Cavewoman: (Shrugs, gets on back, lifts up and spreads legs) >Caveman: (Gets on knees and sticks gross caveman wiener into gross caveman vegana)
1 month ago
Anonymous
so you are lesser than a caveman!? if they were able to debase themselves through procreation, what does that make you?
1 month ago
Anonymous
>so you are lesser than a caveman!?
Sure, I've got no problem with that.
1 month ago
Anonymous
okay, satan. be the best hermit caveman you can be lol
>garbage jungle noise they call music >garbage visual abominations they call manhwa (Priest is actually good though) >shit overcrowded cities even by shit overcrowded city standards >each and every one of their games rapes you harder through layers of grinding and RNG hell than the mongols did them
It's baffling. At least there's a fair chance they'll wipe themselves off the earth on account of some unironic gender war going on.
Just looked up Priest, I like the art style, apparently, it got cancelled and the creator has never come out and said why, which I think it pretty based.
The first volume can be pretty edgy and might give you the impression it's just cheap violence, but after that it develops nicely. Some of the scenes can hit you really hard thanks to the art style. Real shame it got cancelled.
There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!
Any morbidly obese homosexual anons with extremely low self-esteem want to become my no homosexual partner?
I specify >Homosexual
Because only a gay could have an interest in being around a male so closely for no reason. >Morbidly obese
Because I'm extremely ugly and want someone that I feel is closer to my level. Being morbidly obese won't make you as ugly as I am, though. (Although I'm skinny) >Low self-esteem
Because otherwise you wouldn't waste time with me.
>Purpose
I'm ridiculously lonely and want to talk to someone. Also would be nice to (no homo) sleep in bed with someone, (no homo) hug someone, (no homo) cuddle with someone, maybe a little (no homo) kissing too. Send me a message for further details...
I am experiencing all encompassing fear about a medical condition I have. I'm convinced its a horrible terminal illness and that I'm going to die soon because of it. The anxiety is destroying me and making me a useless blob that can't get any work done.
How do I come to terms with a life unlived? I'm a miserable sack of shit that's achieved nothing and been a total failure. How do people deal with terminal illness? Even the prospect of it renders me incapable of finding the will to do anything at all.
I'm 33 and my income is from doordashing. I was a general manager for chipotle near 11 years ago and continued that profession for 6 years. I wonder what barometer of success I should judge myself by; economic or personal. I had more money but I also worked 70+ hours a week, were as now I make enough to pay the bills, but nothing more. I wonder how people who really try to make the most out of life deal with the absurdism of our world. perhaps I'm weak-willed, or perhaps I caught on early, or any other rationalizing thought one could think. I'm just gonna get drunk again tonight, and not care about why anything happens. such things are beyond what I can understand.
Haven't done much reading the past ~week or so. I got halfway thru Dune Messiah and just burnt out on it. Right now I'm reading The Secret Teachings of All Ages cause why not knock a couple percentage points off my progress? I've been reading it for over a year.
As someone with a background in science, I realized the only thing important to me in life is to make art. I'm not particularly good in drawing, and while I enjoy music, it's been a struggle to learn an instrument. So here I am, hoping to eventually create my magnum opus. As you can probably tell, my prose is subpar. I think being a director would be cool, but I'm afraid of failure and don't want to start a thread on IQfy because they will make fun of me. Is anyone in the same boat?
I am overwhelmed by the extreme complexity of life. The present moment slips through my fingers by the second and I don't know what I should have done with it.
I don't know what I should be doing right now instead of this. I thought that I was wasting my time, that I was distracting myself from something, but I truly don't know what I've been distracting myself from, or what it is I should've been doing.
I take my eyes away from my banal diversions and I see a world that sometimes confuses and terrifies me, sometimes presents itself as a limitless and lawless playgound waiting for me to exploit it, sometimes means nothing at all. Each action I take, each word that my fingers and my mouth produce feel like everything and nothing.
It's odd. I don't feel afraid of death anymore. In fact, now it truly feels like a release, a release from all this disorder that surrounds me, and the end to all my desires and all my fears. But until that day comes, every second that passes I am confronted with the question "What now?", and answering that question terrifies me to my core.
I want to go back to the simple drugged out state of the drunk, the media consumer, the porn addict, the pathetic teen who only wanted a girlfriend and didn't dedicate a passing thought to life and death matters. A harmless animal that exists to hurt itself and chase after meaningless diversions until it dies, but I can't. I feel a strange calling, the weight of etternity pressing down on me, the inescapable compromise of the second that ceases to exist forever.
I am afraid. So so so afraid. I feel like I am going insane. Every day starts with either a zealous conviction on something or a great anxious void. Every night is a difficult journey into dreams or nothingness. And in the meantime everything and nothing happens.
A short story of mine, that I worked on for years, just got rejected by a short story competition, a contest that I have been following for years. I've been eagerly waiting for months, anticipating good news of a victory, or at the very least, a shortlist nod. I've been rejected a lot but this was a contest that I really genuinely worked on. The near 7 months of wait for these results put me in a near catatonic state of anxiety because I really genuinely thought I would win. For months, I'd go to sleep dreaming of how my writing career would change because of this one small contest. Alas, that's all gone.
Lol it reminds me of this time that I went on a date with this hot chick just before summer break for uni. I was so into her and hung up on dating her that lost weight and worked out that entire summer, in the hopes that she'd find me even hotter when I get back. Every night, for some reason, id think of all the incredible positives of losing weight, of being more attractive to her. When we all returned for summer, i found out she started dating a dude fatter than me lmao.
In any way, it teaches me a lesson. To not get hung up so much over contests and specific things over a long period of time. Just focus on craft, on writing, and getting better every single story. At the end of it all, it matters that I write a good story, and that's what I need to work towards. The rest is genuinely secondary.
Worker's voluntarily cooperate with each other. They own the means of production. You can think it's very silly and utopian but either way it's a form of socialism.
1 month ago
Anonymous
I work with others and hold stock in the company I work for, I'm an anarcho-socialist
1 month ago
Anonymous
If worker's held equal shares in the company and made up the sole ownership of the company it would indeed be a worker's cooperative. An entire economy made up of worker's cooperatives with no government would be anarcho-socialism. Just because you don't own Amazon stock despite working in an Amazon warehouse does not disclude you from holding these silly beliefs.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
but what if I did own stock? what percentage would be needed to accept this definition? and what is government? can there be a population that isn't governed? so yes, it is a silly concept
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
It wouldn't exactly be stock. It's more like each employee owns an equal share and an equal vote in governance. I'm guessing anarchists would prefer more of a direct democracy type thing. Large worker's cooperatives in the real world generally elect representatives to manage the cooperative, like voting for directors as a stockholder but each person has only 1 stock and is an employee.
I live on an isolated farm right next to a huge forest. There was a helicopter with a searchlight going over the forest the other night. Kinda strange... I didn't see anything on the news.
thinking about how incredibly mediocre writers get to hire the best artists and recieve unfathomable praise for something as dumb as "gay main character" or whatever and i hate that i can *feel* the forced lack of soul and spirit in a work, and in modern times that should not be the case! homies can write books on their own now, comics were never easier to do, it's so easy to not be limited yet all around me are amateur stories not saying what they want to say, having generic or mediocre beats and messages, mid art style, yet still getting *all* the praise.
all so tiring
A movie called American Fiction came out recently and it kind of relates to what you're talking about. I recommend checking it out if it sounds interesting to you, I thought it was pretty good.
This motherfricker, named Daniel, was a piece of fricking shit. At 3 AM on a Sunday he broke into the local church and robbed it of its holy water. Straight up used a shop vac to pump that holiness out. INTO A PLASTIC RECEPTACLE. Disgusting.
Anyway, this sin could not wait for the wrath of God, and must be dealt with NOW.
He is in a 2007 Honda Civic. Me? I'm in a 2019 Honda Civic. The added weight of electronics assisted me in PIT maneuvering his vehicle, and he quickly ended up upside-down in a ditch.
I go up to his door, open it up, and as he is struggling to regain some semblance of understanding of what just happened I shove a tazer into his armpit. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ goes the tazer. I literally just kept it on until it no longer tazed, and then I grabbed my back-up tazer to continue the shocking violence. Before running out of charge on the back-up, I pull him out by his hair and zip him into a specialized rubber bag. I then put the bag onto my back with the attached straps and walk him into the trunk. Once he is all secure, I drive home.
I hoisted him out and brought him to the basement's bathroom. I had a hook above the tub for suspending the bag from. Then? I pumped non-holy water through a hole in the top. He started screaming and shit, but it was not very loud due to rubber's insulating properties. The screaming straight up stopped when the water got to his face (an assumption, I cannot actually see into the bag, transparent materials for such constructions are pricey). I stopped pumping water because I did not want him to die yet (there is a hole in the bottom of the bag for drainage, but it is not that big).
It is VERY important that you give a motherfricker time to suffer so that they make their own amends with God. In a way, I'm doing God's work. I'm giving Daniel a chance to not face hell, for I give him a temporal taste of it here on this beautiful green Earth.
After a view rounds of water pumping, I pump in some oatmeal. Motherfricker must be hungry (it's been 16 hours since he was nabbed). Once he is finished eating, I go to take a nap.
After waking up, I visit Daniel. I see that he took a shit, because I can see some of it in the tub. It is all mushed up and shit (lol) because he must have used his feet to crumble it through the bottom hole of his bag.
Anyway this pissed me off a lot so I decided to just take a bat and beat the fricking shit out of him inside the bag. One crack (think I hit his ribs) and a little scream emits. Two cracks and a BIG scream emits. The third whack makes the bag start moving a bit (fricking muscles). The 4th whack was to his face, and blood starts running out of the bottom hole.
I unzip him out of the bag. I cut off his fingers. I cut off his toes. I rape his anus with rebar. I expose his spine and pour alcohol onto it. That'll teach YOU motherfricker. God showed me that he had apologized for his sins, and he is now almost certainly in heaven.
Pornography is an addiction that has nearly destroyed my life. I crave it at nearly every waking moment, it bleeds into my dreams. Going a single month without consuming it is a challenge for me, a challenge that has proven to be extremely difficult, but that has also changed me deeply.
Imagine 14 years of consuming porn daily. DAILY. From a quick 15 minute wank to the 8 hour gooning session, my brain has been scarred by these intense visions of exagerated vile sexuality. There is no way I could have come out unscathed, and now I know for sure that my mind is damaged and enslaved to something I am struggling to understand.
I feel disgusted at the notion that this is the one thing that gives my days meaning and purpose. There is something else I chase after and crave, something that I can only experience through those images and audios and videos and fantasies; it is not about the pornography itself, but the thing that begins existing when I interact with it.
My mind demands something I can't find anywhere. A sensation, a superstimulus that just doesn't exist. I could spend my entire life learning a craft, trying to capture that thing, to perfect the sensory depravities my mind demands.
I've gone insane. When I flee from porn I experience existential dread. I need to understand what is happening to me if I am to stop it. This can't be my life. I can't live just to jerk off to cartoons. I can't live just to fight against my urge to jerk off to cartoons, but somehow, in all the grandiosity of human experience, I cannot something else.
This has basically been my intrusive thoughts since 2021. All my traits that I felt summed up my identity are slowly eroding one by one. I used to be the funny, smart, chill guy who made everyone feel good. Now, I don't even bother to meet new people since every time I do, I feel like a failure at being myself and being interesting (including my small group of friends ). It's like quarantine gave me an ego death with zero of the positive effects.
In a few years, I'll be that mid-20's guy who hasn't gotten his shit together. This terrifies me since it'll probably happen with the pace I'm currently at. Even worse, I'll be 23 in my junior year of college next spring, while everyone I used to know from high school will be getting bachelor degrees or being 1-2 years off from being doctors/professors. That'll just make everything worse for my already failing mental health. At this current pace, it's culminating. I'm going to be alone and pathetic for the rest of my life. While every attempt I've done so far, hasn't helped one bit
lol if you're having these thoughts this young you're in for a rough time. abingdon the disney-esque view of your reality and accept your situation. life is not what you want, it's what you get. if that's too difficult, well, you know how to stop it
>go outside >everyone scowls at me and looks at me like I'm a freak >any awkward attempt at social interaction makes them hate me more and try to get rid of me >literally nothing I say or do will change that >even my own family is maliciously hateful towards me and excludes me >I haven't done anything wrong, but they still hate me and don't want to include me in anything >so I never have an opportunity to learn social skills and become this upbeat normie I was supposed to be >they treated me like this even when I was a teenager so obviously there is no hope now >doing anything at all except cocooning myself away with my electronic distractions simply reminds me of how fricked I am
it's over
probably negative mental imprints that sit in your field. try square breathing 4x4x4x4 seconds: breathing in, holding, breathing out, holding. try for 5-10 minutes. all the best, fren.
The global reaction to Oct 7th has radicalized me.
Fellow conservatives in my church who once argued against abortion are now openly supporting our tax dollars being used to fund the deaths of innocent children. I didn't know why until I dug deeper.
All of the memes are true and I am losing my fricking mind. I am actually going insane. I don't know what to do.
IQfy is one of the if not the most atheistic board in this site, and I can't help but look at anons like you throwing edgy sentences and think it's really cute. Reminds me of people in middle/high school brainstorming one liners to own others. On that note, if you think that's an insanity factor, you really should go outside more. Catholic or whatever else, religious or not, everyone's going bonkers.
>everyone's going bonkers.
I agree, doesn't mean you should add to your insanity with the belief of a god despite having 0 proof.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
>proof
You have no idea what that even means. You can't think about any subject but keep parroting cute meme phrases you don't understand.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
Someone's upset.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
Also, it's pretty simple, I think you're the one who's struggling with it.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
>it's pretty simple
Is what someone who has no clue what it means would say. You're appealing to religious dogma while complaining about religious dogma and undermining your understanding of history, language and logic in the process, a complete clusterfrick of nonsense. My issue is not as much with your braindead anti-European propaganda as it is with how unfathomably moronic, uninformed and anti-science homosexuals like you are while presenting yourselves as authorities on everything. You don't even have the tools to correct yourself or be corrected since you don't understand what any of the words you parrot like "proof" mean.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
Yet you have just described one factor that definitely makes people insane. You can't taste with your ears, you can't see with you nose, and you can't smell with your fingers. A poet would be justified in calling you daft for trying to analyze his poems as one would a scientific article. Why do you do the same with religion? And in doing so, do you not realize that despite knowing fictional stories and characters are, well, fictional, you still relate to them, become attached to them, and maybe take some of their lessons to life, even though they literally do not exist and you know it? Even if you take religion as a huge fanfiction, what's the difficulty in either applying this lesson to yourself or, if nothing else, to feel empathetic towards those who are religious themselves?
Perhaps that's what fascinates me the most about IQfy. I won't even argue how science and religion once held hands, or how catholicism once embraced both reason and faith, until both sides parted to completely different paths, because it's not about that; it's that enough of you can't see this pattern and don't realize that by opposing it you are the complete antithesis of a great deal, if not the entire point of this board. Yet here you abound. It's online proof that the IQ curve bell meme is real, and that people really are getting more and more insane, religious or not.
IQfy is probably the most religious board on the site.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
Well, I don't think one denies the other. I see a lot of religious threads, and religious posts outside these threads, but also a lot of atheists. It might sound ironic when I put it that way, but IQfy culture rewards contrarianism because that's what gets you (You)s, so I think it's just natural.
4 weeks ago
Anonymous
This is the primary place to discuss such things. No one is talking about Aquinas on IQfy. Only other place you'd see religion mentioned much is on /misc/ and IQfy and those people are morons.
There's no pulling myself out of the hole I'm in and I don't even feel like I put myself here. I have time, that's the best that can be said for it. I have gone in to destroy the world. I have destroyed the world. Frick me. It's unbelievable how all the parts that made it work were just shaved off one by one, they just fell off. Everything is broken but if I have nothing I will kill myself, so I cling to what is broken. There is so much anger. There is no dignity. There is fire. Maybe with time something will change.
12 rules of life or whatever the frick that jordan peterson book is called. I've never read it but I strongly agree with his anti sesame street tweets, so the book has gotta be good.
what the hell do these gays do to be twitter popular?
Like most of them are mid and don't have anything to say, they just draw alright.
I don't get it, i feel like i have to be part of an online clique to mean something online but i do not like these people not one bit, they are so obviously latent narcissists it's insane. Any criticism levied at them is turned into a percieved attack of character, yet they give themselves the right to say anything.
I don't get it, should i stop bothering? My friends are the only real audience i need. But i want my voice heard, an impartial observer to come and see, y'know? I feel like the cliques limit artistic liberty way too much and care too much about image, i worry i might be corrupted like them. But like i also need to atleast *bother* with them until i get my own voice heard. They also don't mistify art and that's just a fricking disgrace like no i will not send you the study or anything i conjured this from my heart no i will not give you tips or break it down or explain anything it's art figure it out your fricking self you have the title right fricking there maybe it's a clue, huh?
Absolutely love watching ugly women trying to look pretty. The second I identify a weakness, it's easy pickings for me. Somehow I am able to innately identify this masquerade and thus I feel extremely comfortable and confident in speaking with and occasionally manipulating them. It's as if I see the entire game and all the puppet strings and levers and buttons I can use to get people to behave how I want them to behave. It's honestly magic. All my exes and hookups have been ugly women that have tried to present themselves as beautiful.
I do this with short dudes and baldies. I kind of feel bad about it but they are such easy targets because of how insecure they are.
>tfw baldy myself
How you manipulate us, anonette?
IM GONNA SHIT MY DICK
Finished reading Rich Dad Poor Dad. The book is very okay.
I might be financially illiterate, but the author of that book is 1.2 billion in debt and isn't debt a bad thing?
He takes cares of his debt through stocks and other assets. Essentially, if the debts need to be settled he can give those to the bank to take care of it. I'm no economic expert too, but there is a loop hole he's using to take care of it.
There isn't even anything such as 'debt' in the 21st century.
>hey chud where's my paper?
>hee hoo those shitters that you print haha Black personisraelite fudchud
>you be printing all that mula from butthole huh? chudosaurus? hehe hoo hoo boo boo in tour mom's tushy kekerino
t. poopenhauer
His whole thing is basically "use debt to build wealth." He makes his minimum payments with dividends he gets payed off of wealth he acquired using that lone money. Basically, if he liquified everything, he could more than pay his debts off. Paying the minimum is just more sustainable and allows him to build more wealth. That being said, recession ruins these kind of people and ultimately the banks that loaned them money, and as a result, anyone else that does their banking with them (innocent victims of the casualty). He is basically betting a ton of other peoples money that the economy stays stable until after his death and his assets are used to pay the banks. If he even intends to do that.
I have life all figured out. Waiting until something happens.
I walk unerring ere over failures of my own design, whence I should slip and fall it'll atleast be a fate of my own make, wrought oft by those of similar kine.
2022 and 2023 were years of massive creative growth. Successful by my own metrics.
2024 was supposed to be a year of delivery, of the bearing the fruits of my hard work. So far, a failure, by nearly any metric. I 99.99% won't win any of the contests I submitted to, but I hope I can at least place 2 or 3 of the stories I'd written. Frick bros, shit sucks balls.
Hebra
The hole on the sides of barrels for pouring out alcohol are called bungholes and the plug is called a bung. It has nothing to do with anal, mom.
I am the great cornholio,
I need TP for my bunghole.
suck my monkey anon
wait just a second
where'd the IP counter go?
when did that happen?
It was thrown away like two weeks ago.
i was using speedrunning loosely in my original post that the other anon was replying to
my point is that a lot of people just seem to read things in a hurry or play them in a hurry just to feel that they finished said thing
i've met so many moronic homosexuals who say shit like
>bruh, i read all of [x] when i was 16
which shows because if you ask them a single thing about it it's like they hadn't read it at all
what if instead of having gay sex all the gay guys just lifted weights and grew those funny gay mustaches and called it a day?
That'd be based, you could spot them from a mile away.
>am straight guy
>have moustache
Its over
shave your bussy tickler, bucko
I pass the time at my shitty retail job by leering at the women who pass through. Most of the young women are quite beautiful. The uggo's must not leave the house very often. I think this is doing immense damage to any potential ability I might have had in talking to women. An endless stream of Venus' buying things. They walk in, browse around a bit, buy something, leave. They may as well cease to exist once they leave my eyesight. I see them more as alien objects of immense beauty, like a Greek marble, than as people you can talk to and interact with as humans. For all the terrible things I read and hear about them it does not register in my head that these could possibly be the same beings. They do not wake up with bedhead. They do not conceal gross pimples with makeup. They do not possess repulsive personalities or insecurities. They are just agents of the demiurge sent to torture me. Unobtainable perfection.
Perchance.
Perhaps a chance a bird pants and perches on ants
Frick you, I ascended through will. Even I could do it, though in part.
To explain, a while back I sperged out and cut off all things sexual and my sexual desire too. It came after a long while spent frequently looking at porn. I would go on a certain site, open up a bunch of drawings, making sure to utilize the tags so that the chances of the content in them being nothing but "naked or clothed woman just sitting around doing something or lazing about" and I would spend hours every time opening up hundreds of drawings like that and every time I would ignore the naked bodies and stare the girls dead in the fricking eye, for minutes at a time, for every single drawing, and the whole time I would basically think nothing. No, I do not know what the frick made me do that and I never will. Eventually I flipped out in the middle of this, and swore to never feel lust or look at a woman weird ever again. I don't remember the exact reasons, but basically I thought that it was disrespecting them, disrespecting myself, and most importantly disrespecting those around me. A decent amount of time has passed since then and so far I have successfully blocked all forms of lust and arousal.
I have not once looked at something sexual, not intentionally at least, and the few times that I did look at them I felt no lust or arousal. It's not that I had to control myself, the thing simply did not work on me. I do not feel pent up in the least. I have felt the slightest bit of temptation in certain things though, not those things that are intentionally made sexual but simple things like a smile, or a hand. Even then it was not the usual "lust" that I am used to, but something more primeval and fundamentally slightly different. The few times that I feel it, and it is very rare, I immediately direct my "attention" on that feeling itself and it disappears as if it had never existed at all. When I have it, it feels like a sort of genuine threat, like it would bring me severe harm if I do not put my attention on it and destroy it very quickly. Aside from this things have been going very well and I feel like a shitty Chinese knockoff of a holy man, as opposed to the usual, which is a shitty African knockoff of a human being.
These days I do not dream of or think of women sexually at all. Not of men either, I'll tell you that before some c**t chips in. That being said though, every single day, especially in bed, I imagine myself holding the hand of or hugging a woman. That alone hasn't changed, hurray.
Something interesting did happen today though. I woke up earlier than usual to a boner, and sensing that something is off I put my full strength into preventing ejaculation, which worked. Then I went back to sleep. I can say for certain that I had had no sexual dreams, nor did my penis chafe against something or anything like that. Anyway, I slept for a while more and then when I woke up again I found out that I ejaculated in my sleep. My hypothesis is that after I went back to sleep the boner popped up again and did its thing, this time with me being too busy sleeping to intervene. Was an absolute b***h to wake up to, I had no hand(haha) in the matter and so did not feel guilty, but it wasn't funny to wake up to wet underwear. But none of that shit really matters, what I wanted to tell you with this paragraph is that I managed to block ejaculation through force of will. Not the first time I managed to do that, and in the past I could do it even better. Many years ago I was just like I am today, filled with a hatred toward the sexual, and resisting it tooth and nail. Once a month or so, my penis would just try to ejaculate while I'm asleep, and I somehow managed to wake up every single time, and in my stupor I could force the fricking thing to stop. I would always wake up maybe ten seconds before it, and I could feel the liquid make its way up, then back down. I don't understand the physical specifics, but through an overwhelming distaste toward the action I could force the damn thing back down, and do it reliably too. I did it dozens of times back then. Isn't that just fricking amazing and bizarre? With a strong enough disgust you can block out your lust entirely and will your body into obeying you, thereby preventing ejaculation. In a sense it reminds me of mysticism.
I achieved a similar state some two years ago but it did not end that well for me. I steeled my mind as you did when one day I decided I needed to stop. In the regime I watched porn but did not touch myself, and so for 5-15 minutes. After a while, it all occurred to me as malevolently disgusting, as it is in its true light that can always subconsciously be felt. I did that a couple of times and after lost all interest to look at porn or jerk off altogether. I felt superior, for months my head was cleansed; I felt powerful and I respected virtues that women around me had. But after some time, I don't know if I was in a moment of weakness or madness I opened porn and looked at it for some 10 minutes controlling myself to not jerk off; I succeeded and imagined I still got it. But as if a demon had possessed me from that moment every second day or so I did the same thing, and I was feeling a weird feeling of invincibility and untouchability doing that. That went on for a whole month, I open porn, look at it like a madman, almost sadistically insulting the people who were in it, and in the next moment pitying them endlessly: "Poor woman, look at what she is reduced to; unfortunately, she is a wench..." I remember not even getting an erection many of those times. The story ends with me finding such a poor and wretched creature on some livestream (Stay away from that!!), she was as charming as she was pathetic; it strangely touched me, in my feeling of overpowering superiority over the creature, that she sometimes, fully clothed, sang and played the piano (rather badly). Later I deduced that she might have reminded me of one of those holy Dosto's prostitutes (yet now I understand that she and her kin are beyond, or not even in need of, redemption; and that redemption should be for myself only). With time I understood she was wretched because her "work" was dishonest, vile, arbitrary-- she chose to exploit, no one forced her, and at any time she could have stopped, yet she didn't. All in all, the piano meant nothing. The new and paradoxical relationship with my screen lasted miraculously for a month before I jerk offd to her stream and finished with thoughts of "doing the whole work all again, immediately", as I thought that this was the only mistake I would make, and I blamed myself fully for it. It was a terribly written tragedy, the stupid, useless rationale. Yet I fully believed in making the same effort to try my future redemption against the sad lapse of will... Now I know that I could not do it again because the essential extremity was gone (the absolute authority of a force almost beyond me which could turn me to stone in an instant), and so after the following months of fighting and falling I found myself jerking off about once a week: to me still, as I am writing this, a shameful and revolting fact. Reading your experience has reminded me of it all. And I swear right here and now to myself that I will do it again. Take heed.
What a homosexual
Why don't you try being sensible? Do you call young men who rightfully qestion their integrity homosexuals in real life too?
i was having anxiety because i am afraid of death until i noticed a pimple under my left nostril which looks hideous. now i don't really think about my fear of death anymore and instead my mind is occupied with how disgusting my face looks to others and how they will perceive me.
is this really all there is? constant existential dread which is at times exchanged for self-concious hate for myself? why do positive thoughts not distract me? i would like to be content
Went to social security to pay some debt that I'm not even supposed to have, and when I talked to the girl at the front she called me a virgin loser, called her friends over, and they held me down, tore my pants and ripped my favourite Spongebob undies to bits. Then that girl called my penis small, and they forced me into a locker. Spent a few good hours there.
Well fine, that's not exactly how the story went, but I fricking wish it was the case. It'd have been less of a pain that way. She told me to call the orangutans from my last job and close the thing, so I called them and told them to close the thing. Well obviously I have no clue what the thing is and how you're supposed to "close" it, so the b***h at the other side of the line was confused. I tried to explain it again but neither of us understood what I called her to do, so she just pretended to be switching me to other people, twice, and when she found out that I'm still patiently waiting she told me that the people who close the thing are away and that I should call later, (preferably) when she isn't on phone duty and does not have to put up with me. Now I am at home and want to kill the moron who invented bureaucracy and all that other bullshit. I'll try again tomorrow and probably get called a loser virgin for real, I have been contemplating whether to reply "at least I don't work at customer service!" or not, should such a thing happen.
You know what I really hate though? Being told by some fuzzy existence to just call some other fuzzy existence and tell them to do some fuzzy thing, like what happened here. It's so fricking insufferable and humiliating. I've been thinking on the way back home and I still have no clue what is supposed to be closed and why, so how the frick would I even word it to some third party? In this case I literally told the woman "uh yeah...there's this thing that needs to be closed...I came to talk to you about that..." and it's no fricking wonder she didn't understand. With the particular tone used, you'd think that I came to talk to her about the international effects of my thing not being closed or whatever. I wish these people would just tell me what I need to do, straight and clear. Anyway, is there anybody here who is trans? I want to get run over by a train.
next time tell the social worker to call the employer, with you on her side. The social worker will be able to explain the matter to the other bureaucrat.
Im kinda going through the same thing. unemployed and I need to have my thing open and registered which it is and I am paying for it to be open and registered because it is necessary now that I am unemployed but the person whom is supposed to know whether it is open and registered can't see that it is so. so I looked and saw that it was so but I have to contact another branch of the same beurocracy and ask them whether it is open and registered but I have an inkling that it doesn't really matter at least not until the last of april but I don't know for certain so now I am in limbo unsure if I should be doing more or be panicing because it might be more or less important that it is open and registered I don't know for certain. I just wanna game and think about writing man frick this shit
Oh yeah, and a final frick you to all phones. Fricking moronic machine.
iPhone 15 Pro is good
hey steve, i didn't realize they had wifi in hell
nah my iPhone 15 is nice
I can't do a single thing that is good. Even when I try to good I sin.
I created this thread. You are all my children. Let me bless you. Take care, dear ones.
my real dad could beat your ass
Oh yeah? Then why hasn't he left his step-kids in 5 years to visit you?
My fear that I have nothing to say, and that I havenothing is under the hood keeps me from writing.
i NEED a cute flat chested girl to sit in my lap
:3
Need a big fat bullet in my head.
so many books i want to read but i literally cannot tear my eyes from my screen i want to read everything and understand everything without thinking too hard why am i stuck fantasizing without trying
I'm gonna write a nice, long, wholesome message to an old teacher of mine. My uncle (who is a teacher himself) said that it's a good idea and that if he were to receive one from one of his students that he would be over the moon.
It took a while to write and it was as promised, nice, long, and wholesome. I hope he sees it, I put a lot into it.
Anyone else notice that the millennials involved in the creative space love to talk in non-sequitors? It's like they know they have nothing valuable or interesting to say so they just try to be obtuse
fr fr no cap a bluh buh buh bix nood on G*d
I understand zoomer speak because I myself am a zillennial (97 baby)
ampambulam up thee cambulam abramelin shoves a needle into his shin-dig as he fricks a pig mumphord and sonnes sux thank you based god
Going to try to sleep and imagine myself hugging a girl. Chances are the neighbours howling like dogs in heat will prevent me from doing this.
>Going to try to sleep and imagine myself hugging a girl.
Me too. What does your look like?
ur mom lmoa gottem
>anon tries to have a heart to heart
>another anon dunks on him with a yo mumma joke
kek
I can never quite fathom where exactly your arms and head should go. Can't even get a hug in my imagination! It's over!
>khhv even in imagination
this is beyond over
Getting sleep while sleeping in the same bed as a woman is an impossible task. Why are women so gay bros
Read pic related.
The truth is, without accepting some moral truths arbitrarily, his point cannot be refuted. Any number of atrocities, which I will now list, are irrefutable:
>1. Child Rape Farm
Children are raised from a young age with the use of drugs and therapy to enjoy being raped. Perhaps they will be surgically modified for this purpose or, if nothing else, they will be given drugs and such to forget or not be aware of what is happening.
>2. Modification of Human Fetuses
Well, a fetus isn't a PERSON so it doesn't have rights. Do you want a human body to rape and frick all day? Surgically remove the brain, or modify it so that the fetus will no longer have any conscious thoughts or feel any pain. Then it will (assuming good surgical science and such) grow normally like a human but torturing, butchering, raping, and other things will cause no harm. Want to rape a fetus? Go ahead! Rape it straight out of the womb? Why not?! Rape it at every stage of its life, or just eat it. Again, at NO POINT is a human being's freedom EVER limited or injured. The fetus NEVER WAS a person and NEVER BECOMES a person at any point in time. It NEVER has a conscious thought.
>3. Human Flesh Factory
What matters isn't what a thing IS— all "things" are social constructs. Therefore, there is nothing really morally wrong with substituting that beef with human meat from ETHICALLY MODIFIED human fetuses grown for sustainable food production. What are you, some kind of chud? Human meat, if given the right additives and flavor injections, tastes and looks exactly like beef. It is identified as beef. Beef is a social construct. You are eating BEEF. It might not be cis-DNA beef, but it's beef. Now eat your human flesh, goy.
>4. Indoctrination for total degradation
If the idea is harm or suffering, then it is theoretically possible to socially engineer humans to be okay with horrific degradation and indignity from a young age, or perhaps genetically modify them for this purpose. Would anyone be harmed? No, of course not. And they'd be okay with being indoctrinated— ask them how they feel, and they will reply "I'm glad Chairman Sandberg and The People's Democratic Socialist Republic of Disney(TM) has reduced violence so much and made it so that society functions smoothly, and I'm glad that we get to service and please them in any way possible! Long live the Revolution!"
>5. Assisted Suicide of Small Children
Suppose that there is a child that has depression following an episode of severe school bullying. What right have you to limit his or her freedom to commit suicide? Well, one could argue that the child doesn't "know" what they want. But how do you know that? How do you determine consent? How do you determine when the child can consent to death? Countries like Canada are already moving to allow young children assisted suicide due to depression. I don't even need to argue on this philosophical point, because the line has already been crossed.
For anyone with a conscience, the last one is obviously evil, but you can say nothing except:
>Well... what IF they become happy?
So what? If they are unhappy now, you can just kill them and reduce their suffering. And they have a right to do what they want with their own body, right? Even if they COULD be happy at some point in the future, the future itself is a social construct. It doesn't exist. Therefore, kill the little b***h.
All of this cannot be refuted without simply saying:
>Some things are horrible and evil because... because they just are, okay?!?!?!?
And I want a book that will go into detail about intuition as the only basis for morality, because the way that society is headed is extremely fricking grim.
I think I’m going to kill my self if I don’t leave my golden handcuffs job. It’s just so stupid and pointless.
i came up with a way to deal with this sort of thing
>dont like thing
>dont do thing
so far so good
Make sure you paypal me $2000 before you do it
Nobody likes me. I know why.
Last night I got into a fight with my mother after she told my father to get off my back. She single-handedly distracted me from my studies and when I tried to resume she told me that I was not allowed to pursue any of them. It is not her fault, ultimately, but she should know when to shut up.
I also got shouted at by a stranger who accused me of being a child abductor and "rapist", merely because I was sitting on a park bench and I got there two minutes before she did. She then proceeded to beat her children. I was tempted to call the police, but I think she could easily worm her way out of the situation and I had little to no evidence that I could provide. I was not set in going to jail for the night.
This morning I was told by a neighbor that my driving is erratic. I know this and I would surrender my Driver's License, but my mother is forcing me to have one, so she is able to turn me in with actual documentation if I actually do something wrong (I threatened to do a bad deed to a therapist if she elected to hire one).
I have some legal documentation to give to the court today (nothing criminal, I swear), but I am seriously considering a hermetic lifestyle, since I have few people that ultimately trust me.
I am a God Fearing Man and I know that I will never be one of the elect and see myself to Heaven, almost nobody goes to Heaven in the first place. Maybe it would be better to become an Atheist, so I could live with myself being unlikable and dishonorable. I have broken half the Commandments, anyway.
why are you such an annoying homosexual to everyone? have you ever thought about sorting that out?
Yeah, that is why I want to surrender my license and the reason why I sat on that park bench in the first place. I was alone before, that is the only way that I am not an annoying gay. I hate myself for making the therapist comment which is an eight year old remark at this point, but nobody forgets things like what I said then.
Allow me to put it to you this way, if I do what I can trust myself to do in life, things will be alright, as it stands now, I am being stretched beyond my capacity. What I said is only half of me, the other half is that I volunteer at a library, act as a caretaker to my father who suffered a stroke nearly six months ago (he is still recovering) and I am also a student in college.
Feel free to tell me to frick off, anon. I have been told that about five times this week.
sorry, you aren't communicating that clearly and i take this stuff for granted.
do you have a learning disability? and/or claim disability? im not hating.
but i dont understand how you are being a nuisance to people, cant you just stay in your lane (literally and figuratively), acquire some hobbies, improve yourself?
or what pressure is making this too difficult?
Neither, actually. My mother wanted a psychiatric evaluation because both she and my father think I have gone mad. Also they think I am mad for asking if I could buy Francium, since I wanted to tinker with it (this happened at age 16, when I was in chemistry). I know that is not what a therapist is for, but that is what my mother thinks the purpose of a therapist is (her mind is slightly addled from when she did cocaine [this would be when she was in high school, she is now 55]).
Also, I have hobbies, my mother hates my hobbies because they take up space. Cycling is one of my hobbies, that got me into trouble last night. Flying radio controlled aircraft is another hobby, but I break federal law when doing it (I do not want to spend $250 on a government tracker, to quote a certain meme "I Hate the Antichrist"). (Yes, jannies, I know I am incriminating myself, please bear with me, since this is a minor law and there is absolutely no way to enforce it in the United States).
In the literal sense, no. Even driving schools have given up on me, which is funny, because a pilot academy that I went to said that I was perfect.
did you have friends at school? have you been diagnosed with autism?
Friends, yes, they were jerks, though and I wound up trying to arrange a "friend" what he called an "Enjo Kusai" relationship. I did not know that I would be bordering on a procurer.
Autism is a weird story, the answer is no, though. After consistent screenings. I am sensitive to light and sound, but I think that is just a sensitivity.
>I am a God Fearing Man and I know that I will never be one of the elect and see myself to Heaven, almost nobody goes to Heaven in the first place.
>I have broken half the Commandments, anyway.
Same. I wonder if there's any fun to be had in realising how fricked up you are.
Not really, every bit of my life is a chore at this point knowing what I have done. The only commandments I have not broken are the first, second, sixth and seventh. The eighth was the first one I broke at the age of two and around that time I beat up a kid, gave him two black eyes and a bloody nose.
>anon still feels immense guilt for something he did as a barely conscious toddler
Learn to forgive yourself, man
I guess, but I nearly murdered my mother at knifepoint when I was 12. That was eight years ago too. I was almost taken in an attempted murder charges. The circumstances were similar, my mother blocked me from doing my studies, where I was working on a 15 page paper on Ancient Greek Military structure and tactics. It is too recent for me to forgive.
Also, please jannies, do not ban me for speaking of this. Yes, I am aware of what I did and what rule I violate for speaking of it, but it was already handled afterwards and is in the past, which to a few on here, is the distant past.
>my mother blocked me from doing my studies
What do you mean by this? She asked you to take out the trash or something?
No, she said to stay in my bedroom and that unless I state my intention, she will call the authorities on me. She nearly called them last night because I did a poop instead of a pee, though I originally went to the bathroom for a pee.
Buddy you need to move out
My parents determine whether I work and what I work on, my mother said none of the money that I would earn by working, my father said I have enough stress as it stands and that working would just lead to me sinking even lower. If I move out, I will be homeless, daily bread will not want too serve me due to allergies and becoming a liability.
I have dealt with my mother long enough to know how to live and handle her for the time being.
Nope, not a character, so I guess I am.
based pee/poo switcherino.
i don't know if you're playing a character, but if you aren't i hereby officially diagnose you with autism.
hello underground man
I read it, I see the similarities, but at least I am not in St. Petersburg (I am actually American, so at least I am not there or in Ufa). From what I have heard, Ufa is the Camden of America.
Hello glowie.
It’s one thing to be friendless at your age (I’m assuming you’re 25 or under judging by the demographic here) but if you’re my age (over 40) it’s somewhat expected unless you have what the kids call “rizz”
I honestly have no clue what "rizz" is. I mean, I still have one or two contacts from high school still, plus a girlfriend (who is too good for me, but she loves me deeply, so I accept her).
Is rizz appearance, because I look like I am 35-40 (what stress does to man), the doctor said my health was more comparable to someone of that age, I reached the health of a 30 year old at age 15, so quite literally, I am aging twice as fast as other people my age.
It does not help that I read classic lit and the newest music I listen to is probably Alien Ant Farm, which is a Xoomer band (I got mocked on IQfy for listening to them and thinking that they are a better band than Nirvana).
>Rizz
>Charisma
>ChaRIZZma
Okay, well that is something that I have little of. I am not that charismatic since, I dislike what most people my age like (Japanese cars like the Supra, rap music/jungle beats, Demon Slayer or flavor-of-the-moment shounen anime/manga).
>Last night I got into a fight with my mother after she told my father to get off my back. She single-handedly distracted me from my studies and when I tried to resume she told me that I was not allowed to pursue any of them. It is not her fault, ultimately, but she should know when to shut up.
Please elaborate.
I am a student in college. I live with my parents. My mother and father are often at odds with each other over a common interest of my education. My father usually gets information before my mother because he asks me before or after I am tending to my studies, my mother has a habit of doing that in the middle of my studies. She has a habit of interrupting me and by causing this argument, it not only affected her ability to collect information, but also my father's ability to ask. I got mad at her for that, since, in my eyes, my father did nothing wrong, for saying that, I was locked away in my bedroom and told that unless I am to directly apologize to her and speak in the right tone at the right volume, she will allow for me to eat dinner. I refused, but elected to depart the household for a short period of time (the "park bench" incident), I came back and was escorted (with a firm grasp around my wrists, which were behind my back) to my bedroom with no alternative but to sleep. I attempted to disobey her, since I had assignments due that night and she cost me a whole lab report because of her stunt.
>Husbands childhood crush is still in our lives because of their families.
>Literally the girl he lost his v but at least only have to see her a few times a year.
>Me and husband have baby
>He is nearly 4 years old now
>Since he was born he was always drawn to her. ie at a gathering would stop crying when she held him or would cry when taken away from her
>Always running up to her when he sees her and wanting to interact with her
Wtf is going on and why is this annoying me so much
You should divorce your husband and marry me instead 🙂
your kid is probably like that with many others but you're noticing that interaction. all kids are like that.
...why am i reading such a normie comment here?
Because women (if that is one) are becoming a rarity in these parts
Once my child gets born I'm going to flood this thread with normalgay problems.
Feel free to go to r9k to vent
Domestic terrorism.
Damn this is like the female equivalent of a guy teabagging another guy.
Making tea at work and clinking the spoon on the mug to stir it is such homosexual shit
i am never not drinking tea and bought wooden spoons specifically not to be a homosexual in my household
Is perpetual renewal the right term for something that constantly renews itself?
sounds right yes
i think auto(matic) renewal is more common
I can't share any of the music that I like with any of the women I know because all the music I like is about love and romance, what can I say? I'm a sucker for soul music.
Exactly that, you like soul music? Say that, as it is. Women should then understand.
No, I don't want to be like "Hey, check out this song that I like" and then them take it as me hitting on them because I sent them Let's Stay Together by Al Green.
Just say that I listen to soul music, then you can say that usually the genre is about love, so you do not think that it is appropriate to send them.
This homie acting all exceptional when women love that shit.
>anon playing The Crystals' It Felt Like A Kiss on the first date
I feel good, then I feel sad. Whenever I feel good, I anticipate the coming sadness. Whenever I feel sad, I anticipate the coming goodness. I don't like it. It's the same feelings, worries, anxieties, hopes, expectations, etc. Every day. I'm trapped in my own head. I've ruminated on my thoughts for so long that I no longer gain any new insight.
Are migraines IQfy?
My migraines are always presaged by visual patterns blocking whatever I'm focusing on, so I'd consider it anti-IQfy if anything.
Nothing breaks my heart like the human tragedy of a mother with an invalid child. She would go to the ends of the earth if her kid could get better. A man would want nothing to do with it.
Gonna ask the girl out at the Asian mart by my apartment. Hopefully it works out. She seems into me.
I wish the best and for a very delicious bowl of Chow Chow Chow Mein.
Thanks, Anon
I'm good at absolutely nothing. Everything I try feels impossible despite all the time and effort I've sacrificed. The hobby I've been working on for 10 years, that I've poured over 15k hours into? Yep, still shit at it. There are 14 year olds who mogg me. I still can't help but feel there's something out there that I would be naturally good at.. but I just haven't found it yet. Any of you anons been through this? Did you end finding 'your thing' or not?
>The hobby I've been working on for 10 years, that I've poured over 15k hours into? Yep, still shit at it. There are 14 year olds who mogg me
What's the hobby anon? Anyway the point of hobbies is to enjoy doing them, not to be the best
>14 year olds mogg me
what helped me is getting rid of the dick-measuring mindset, it's just compare and despair. fish can't climb trees that well, but so what
if your goal is to improve, then you should be only looking at your past self, not other people
>'your thing'
i'm just content with doing things i enjoy, whether i'm good/bad at them doesn't matter to me
>me. I still can't help but feel there's something out there that I would be naturally good at..
Why? There's very few people naturally good at anything. Most people are only good at anything because they got good, not started that way. And tbf if you're not one of the super rare people born with perfect pitch or extra taste buds or the ability to remember everything you ever saw or did or whatever, it's not like the talent is going to suddenly show up now. All those freaks of nature get found pretty early.
i'm shit at everything too. All I'm good at is being NEET and spending the day on the internet.
I tried day trading and I suck at it. I lose money when i do what seems right, when i do what seems wrong, and when I do random things.
I tried making money by buying and selling stuff on ebay and so on, it didn't work.
I tried being on welfare and i got nothing.
I tried to go the university and I just suck at following courses and at research too.
I still don't know how I 'm going to earn money.
what's on your mind
I want to eat meat, and skip out on work.
Be sure to floss after eating meat.
It's probably an orthodox problem
recovering from a sinus infection and nosebleed right now
i had a nosebleed like this about 8 years ago. the smell of the dried blood brings nostalgia like nothing else. i miss college, had some good times
Someone flossing their teeth and pulling out an entire rotisserie chicken
The more I read the Gospels the more I realize that there are an awful lot of people that have taken verses specifically applying to Jesus Himself and tried to universalize them to apply to all humans, and civilization more broadly.
Like the line during the Passion about "put your sword back into its sheath." People read this as Christ endorsing pacificism broadly but I just don't think that's the case. Christ doesn't want Peter to defend Him from the mob because if the mob doesn't take Him, He won't be crucified, and then the entire reason for Him being incarnated on Earth won't come to pass. It's not a general forbidding of violence, it's a specific instance where Jesus cannot let one of His followers interfere with His destiny.
And there's tons of verses like these, where I've noticed certain people (many of whom aren't really Christian) try to make them apply to humanity as a whole, but in the context of the Gospels they apply specifically to Jesus, or to a specific situation He is talking about or dealing with.
I still think he told us that we don't have to wash our hands before eating if we're really hungry
I'm sick of lying to people, but life is just too much of a pain for me to get by without lying. This post may or may not feature lies in it.
You know who the Father of lies is, don't you anon?
Of course, who doesn't? From what I know many cultures have independently developed a hatred of lies and liars, which I think is very interesting. There's something about lies in specific that is very evil.
To be honest though, I don't really care about the father of lies or what the average guy thinks about them. What really scares me is the idea that I would lie to somebody I like, or that I would lie to somebody else and the person I like would somehow learn of this and forever know me as a liar.
race war NOW
I don't mean it, it's just fun to say and type.
me rhythmically thumping my wiener into the sand to hasten the arrival of sandwormussy
I don’t have the money to get into cars.
One sentence could change my life
What sentence?
I wish I knew. Think about it. There's is a sentence that could change your life, too, if only you knew what it was
Mine maybe? "You have won the lottery"
You have won the lottery.
How much?
The exact amount you need to change your life plus an extra 15 bucks for a little snack on the way!
Uh thanks
You got it man. Hope you're new life is one you like better. 15$ well spent.
But it didn't happen
But it did. I said the sentences. Why hasn't your life changed yet? Get to it!
Please frick off at your earliest convenience
Its almost like you might need more than just some words to change your life, isn't it?
Welcome to McDonalds
I love you anon (I'm a dude, I don't want to give u fake hope)
Sometimes I think about that one love song I used to listen to. Unlike normal love songs it did not whine and b***h at all, the lyrics were very simple and elegant, overflowing with optimism. It was in a language just similar enough to mine to be both intelligible and exotic at the same time, and the pronounciation of the singer was interesting. I think that part of the special feelings that I hold towards this one song originates from this, many years ago back when I was a young kid I decided to "reject" my language and "people" for various reasons, and this song is the only real sort of interaction that I have with the language, culture, and people. For maybe two or three years now though I have not listened to it, at some point I started developing this emotional connection between this song and a certain someone, so now it hurts to listen to and I don't even dare to do so. I would like to eventually listen to it again though.
What's the song? Don't gatekeep it pls
What are your hobbies?
I was making money from playing video games until I quit a few months ago. I want to go all-in on literature now. That aside, I currently listen to like thirteen-to-fourteen hours of classical music a day, I'm utterly ensorcelled and completely hooked. You?
I also want to go all-in on literature right now but I’m in this weird headspace where I’m sort of depressed so I’ve been avoiding both reading and writing. I really wanted to get something published this year and that didn’t happen.
Other than that, I have things I like but nothing I spend much time on. I really have to find one or two other hobbies just to keep me sane, fit, and with a semblance of a social life I think. My life has gotten really stale…
Fourteen hours is nuts by the way.
I recently got on medication myself which strongly fills me with motivation, focus, and energy. Without which I'd probably be stuck in a rut as well, as I certainly was when much younger. That said, I'm sure passion will find you again shortly, it's natural to have ebbs and flows.
And by fourteen hours, I'm also doing other things while listening to the music of course. It is the highlight of my day though.
Idk I think my health is not quite right. I don’t really know what to do to resolve it. How come you don’t make money gaming anymore?
I stopped playing. And damn, sorry to hear that. Have you considered medication then?
I don’t know what medication I could benefit from at this point and getting serious tests from my doctor is like pulling teeth.
You should try self medicating. Weed, mushrooms, alcohol, cigarettes, lots of caffein. You want shit to really change? Meth, crack, fent.
>but I can't get my hands on that stuff
Crack heads can, you can too.
I don't know how to have hobbies
Reading about history, culture and religion, particularly the Japanese kind.
What I really do is just stare at the wall everyday and wait for death, though. Engaging with my hobbies is a once-in-a-month thing.
Fascism cured my depression by giving me a positive and proactive outlook on life
One day a year or two ago I woke up, got up to wash my face, and the moment I saw my reflection in the mirror I spat on its face. No anger or anything like that, I just did it instinctively in the same way as you would catch a ball heading for your face or something. I wasn't even in a shit mood or anything like that either, my body just moved on its own and spat on the face of the tard looking back at me, no questions asked. I think that I may perhaps have a reenactment of this sometime in the future, except with a punch instead of spit. We'll see I guess.
watch aftersun
I want to have sex.
Pay for a hooker.
Being alone for too long, like at least a year of barely going out, makes you feel like you're drunk even though you are completely sober. Time passes weird, your senses dull and sharpen in strange ways, your thoughts become more esoteric and abstract, your fetters to this world seem lighter than ever, reality starts to feel like some sort of dream you could wake up from at any moment, like Zhuangzi's dream about the butterfly.
Wow, thanks for reminding me of that passage. That is exactly how I feel. There are times throughout my day that I see myself at 18-20 years old, surrounded by rain and storms, trying to wake up from this nightmare; I can quite literally feel the gentle storm's spray and smell the rain. It is drawing me. Am I awake? The dreams are so real. I want to wake up— I see it at the bottom of the bridge— consciousness. I want to let go so badly.
I dedicated 8 years of my life to Physics and I'm mediocre. Well, at least I tried I guess
>he fell for the stemgay meme degree
Feelin really extra depressed today
nobody cares homosexual kys
I've never been the "creative" type, yet as of late I have been feeling a nagging sensation somewhere within myself to create something. Though to be honest I don't even know what it is that I should create, a drawing, a short story, some mixture of both, or really, what its story and characters should be like. There is but the faintest, vaguest swirl of themes that I have enjoyed in other works I have seen or read floating around within my psyche, like some sort of primordial soup, that feel like they could be formed into something. Yet I feel like if I truly had something worth saying, that image shouldn't be vague, it should be clear as day, clearer than reality itself. I probably just think I have something to say, or want to feel like I have something to say, rather than actually having something to say, I feel like this sort of thing is like being great at sports or anything else, if it was truly for me it wouldn't be in my mid-20s that I felt a calling towards it, but rather had it come to me naturally when I was five and have it feel like an integral element of my self by now. What portrait of any artist worth taking seriously would start by the time most others are already done "becoming artists" and are ready to create the uncreated conscience of their race?
create an Onlyfans
more immigrants means more wageslaves for my neetbux
Thats the spirit brother.
What happens when the immigrants get on neetbux instead of wageslaving?
Then we get more immigrants. Dumb ass.
introduce them to your dealer for bulk discount
I seriously want to go back in time to middle school. My life is just fricked. There's nothing I can do. I can't take this anymore. I just go to bed screaming and crying every night. I want to die so bad. Just what the frick am I supposed to do
Do something wacky!
Go frick yourself
telling strangers to go frick themselves on the internet is wacky anon
Why are you torturing me
Nobody is torturing you. How did you get to a point where a small light-hearted mockery can hurt you? I have no idea what you're living through but I'm 95% sure it's no big deal. People on this site like to complain.
What's so shit about your life?
My hands and legs and skin fell off.
I suppose you're typing with your dick then. Looks fun.
I use two buttons and a joystick with my tongue. It's broken so it gives me a small electric shock every time I use it. brb a monkey just threw shit into my open wounds so I'll have to spend the next week cleaning it. I was in love with that monkey, I thought we would marry one day.
That's nothing. When I had malaria for the third time one of my balls fell off. It itched a lot but I couldn't do anything lest I would lose the other ball. And it was all for nothing because in the end I got mega-cancer (it's a rare thing, not many people have it, it's when the doctor puts a finger up your butthole to find prostate cancer and THAT fiddling gives you ball cancer + leukemia) and lost my second ball anyway. Then my wife left me, I became an alcoholic and my kids don't respect me anymore. Also the loss of the balls created a chemical imbalance of testosterone vs estrogen and now I got b***h breasts. The end.
I actually meant it. Don't know what to do in life. Do some shit no one is expecting and then react to the ramifications for a while. Even if it is just telling some rando on the internet to go frick himself. I have given you a course of action in these replies. You are welcome.
Hell yeah brother. Very wacky!
23 and my knees already hurt. I get so tired from just trying to walk 1 mile. Every joint cracks and aches. Everything feels hollow
Try drinking more water, up to 64 ml a day
Need to change the oil
Now imagine that but at age 15.
stop sucking dick
Baby. Try being 40
Why would that matter
No. I will not.
I'm thinking about writing something based on one of the worst things that has happened to me. Maybe it'll help me to work through it or to at least funnel the energy.
This is what I'd be basing it off of. My grandpa was murdered by two of his employees a few years back when they set the building on fire. Police lied about what they saw and we know this because of what their bodycam showed. The state appointed fire marshal ruled it was an accident and then turned around and said my grandpa set the fire the next. We had to hire private investigators and get in contact with politicians and the attorney general for anything to actually happen. The two employees bragged that they got away with it to the PI and it was recorded. Also the two guys would call my mom's work.
I miss you
Mikayla??
Juliana???
but I haven't met you yet
Morgona?
I'm a vapid person. I don't get any of the art stuff people like. I don't get movies and TV. Changing my life is hopeless
My life is hopeless
Maybe I should just be comfy with that. Trying anything else feels like torture
I don't think therapy is the answer for me I think it might be death instead
How am I supposed to connect with some normie therapist who can't understand me at all.
The only therapist success stories all come from normies who are s a d for stupid shit like
>she left me
>i can't have what I want
>i can't stop drinking
Etc.
5 years ago I lucked out and got a good therapist. The thing is- she didn't understand me. But she knew that, I guess, and instead of trying to solve a problem that she really couldn't deal with, she focused on the areas that we intersected as human beings. She made me feel a little human, for the first time in my life. I am fairly certain that she was my last hope in life of ever managing to fix my shattered brain.
Still, in my insecurity, I lied and said I was getting better à la Good Old Neon and attempted suicide.
I don't trust therapists. They can ruin your life. How am I supposed to feel comfortable talking to them knowing that if I slip up and say how I really feel my life will get really fricked up?
>I don't like them, they will ruin your life. definitely better I just end my life myself.
>boo hoo nobody understands me
Nobody understands anyone else. Get over yourself.
Blah blah blah
I didn't sleep at all last night. Now it's evening again and I'm not even tired. I also threw up for no apparent reason yesterday. Something's not right chez moi.
'bout to go score some fent with a buddy. I'll take a couple hits for the IQfy homies, y'all can enjoy the orgiastic pleasure vicariously through me.
Interrupting callers
Wake me from my slumber
For unimportant reasons.
A blonde pawg is blowing up a bathroom in Saint Paul, Minnesota.
There was a a Mexican orphan on my cross-country team in high-school. I watched him stick his hand in a fire ant pile and let them crawl and bite all the way to his elbow. I watched him do it more than once. Later his arm would be swollen and covered in white capped pustules. Why would he do that to himself? I knew him since elementary school. He won a planking competition against our whole class once. I think he held a plank for something like twenty minutes. I think maybe he had a hard life.
I'm no Calvinist but sometimes I wonder if they were right about the whole predestination thing. Like, maybe some people were born to enter the Kingdom and some are here because others may find meaning in the way in which they fall, you know? I think I might be one of the latter category. There were times when it seemed like everything in my life, the whole universe, conspired to send me a message, to tell me that there was a greater meaning, a deeper understanding, out there, that if I turned away from the path I was on I would find something truly satisfying and fulfilling in a way none of the vices and dalliances I filled my hours with ever could. And you know what? The heavens opened and I saw signs and wonders, and afterwards I found that even with all that I couldn't bring myself to choose what was right over what was easy. I don't exactly believe in the fire-and-brimstone Hell like a Bible-thumping Baptist or something but I think it would be completely just for me to end up there at the end of all this. Not so much because of all my deeds but because I know, I fricking know, exactly what right and wrong are and I end up on the wrong side of that line, time after time.
I regret not moving around and doing more while I was young. Having never moved to a city or entered a legit career feels like having inadvertently opted out of doing anything in life.
I wish I knew where I was supposed to move. All the places in America suck. None of the big cities feel like cities. Its just suburbs but more
To the desert I say!
Americans ruined it like they do everything
Into the deep desert! Deep!
Thats not fun for me. I want to meet someone
ngmi
I don't want to make it to be honest. Making it doesn't look all that good.
I got that impression. good luck not making it. Its harder than you think to not make it when you are a coward
I guess it depends on what your thing is. Literature? New York or similar. Tech entrepreneur? San Francisco, Austin, or similar. Academia? Whatever city the best college you get into is in. Alternatively, you can just go to the biggest city in your state or region.
These cities are literally pathetic except for new York but then you have to live in New York.
America is a beautiful land but the worst possible people and the worst possible government decided to exist here.
your city wont fix you
I literally just want to be in a city that is built for humans in mind. I'm not asking to be fixed. I'm fine. I just want to live in a certain place. But this government made it illegal to build cities like that
canada is the same. if i want to live in a 'walkable city' my options are very limited and my rent will be like 4k a month.
however small towns, usually have a main ave. a little like this, and are comfy as hell.
Having both gotten a decent job and seen a pretty decent portion of the world I can honestly tell you that I also feel like I don't and wont do anything in life. Nobody tells the goalposts are alive and they move around allot when you realize how mundane almost every action you can take truly is.
I think it’s just a prerequisite though. It’s not like it’s an achievement in itself. It’s just what needs to be the case to be able to do anything it seems.
So far its been a prerequisite to nothing man but maybe you would do better with it than I do.
travelling is a female cliché
only in the recent years, traveling has been a male activity for centuries. from the early explorers, to the sophisticated world travelers.
they were the girlies of their time, just like poets and what knot
Nights do not speak anymore, night lights do not shine anymore, spring doesn't smell anymore, going through the motions of stage 4 soulrot, stage 5 brainrot, crimson red alarm lights beeping and flashing, or so they should but they are silent nothing is possible anymore.
https://voca.ro/1dNtmRgYMx5h
It's not getting better.
What’s wrong?
The no gf situation continues to be dire, despite efforts.
As I sit here considering what to write I think it's honestly not even worth elaborating on because you've already seen the exact same sort of post on this website ad infinitum. IQfy is just one big swirling vortex of suffering that doesn't ever change. I don't think posting about it will enlighten myself or others. There is no insight to be gained. The only purpose "tfw no gf" posts have is communal suffering, just a big empathetic circlejerk of melancholy and self-pity. I've seen literally thousands of these kinds of posts, and what good have they done me? I've gained nothing by it. They haven't helped me in my efforts. Have they helped literally anybody?
I'm starting to question the usefulness of venting on IQfy in general. It's nice to have a proverbial shoulder to cry on, even if that shoulder may as well be a brick wall, but I very rarely get something out of it. It literally is just venting, releasing some noxious psychic gas that otherwise would suffocate me in my daily life. It's basically the psychological equivalent of excretion.
Anyway, >tfw no gf
I'm pretty sure >tfw no gf posting is just venting. No one expects shouting this into the void on IQfy of all places will actually do anything. Even this post is useless and serves no purposes other than to trump my current boredom before I go to sleep!
Nothing compares to the first stare, smell, touch, kiss, I love you
Why are we at the point where nearly all conspiracy theories are true and nobody is doing anything.
The shit everyone used to laugh and make fun of from the 60s to the 2000s just keeps being confirmed again and again.
You guys realize the video game Deus Ex was meant to be satirical and funny "haha what if all that shit people on usenet say was true"
The world was even shut down for a pandemic..
Literally every media figure you can think of has strong ties to some really awful shit that you'd think it was a satire from the Simpsons.
Literally what is going on anymore? This doesn't even feel like a nation or a world for that matter.
The Theosophists were unironically correct about Black Lodges dominating institutions of imperialism from within.
Even the biggest head in the sand close minded normies i know have adopted a "haha its all fricked anyway let's just have fun" mindset. Joking about being on a ton of drugs or having your system fricked by microplastics is just common now for people under 40. A news story about whose the latest pedophile involved in the occult comes out every month and everyone knows about it and they don't care and buy their music or movies anyway. Nobody cares.
Republics are the political tool used by the bourgeois to take power and kill kings, and the only mistake is that the peasants believed the bourgeois when they said the bourgeois will care about the cucks and remove the formal (ie legal) and the informal strata of the class system.
It is the true the bourgeois removed the legal strata, but not the informal one, and 250 years alter, the bourgeois still say ''everyone is equal (ie bourgeois and cucks)'' but they don't do anything about it , and protip they don't plan on doing anything.
During monarchies, there was no need for ghettoization, because legally there was a class system so people dint mix up in the first place.
So the next phase is to put all the poor people in the VR world and let the rich enjoy the physical world. The poor will have their society, own currency and of course these currency will worthless compared to the real ones.
digital dollar and UBI for billions of disposable coomers in VR life, used on e-prostitutes, porn, weed and videogames.
What drives me crazy about you conspiracy guys is that we literally have documented evidence of capital destroying the world, rich people forcing people into being indentured servants, American imperialism destroying nations( killing millions), CIA doing countless shady shit in the open, a lot of foods causing disease, urban planning as segregation, slavery (in jail), prices always go up forever, all federal politicians are corrupt, an entire world spanning progressive ideology is suppresed in America, half the population is neo-fascist and mentally insane, cops can get away with anything, media is corrupt, America is still filled with powerful warmongregers, an even worse version of protestant nationalism is upon us, and the culture has been stagnated since 2014. Why are you all caught up with nonsensical bullshit like israelites running everything, thinking every powerful person in the United States is a pedo, and gay/racist crap? I would quite literally be fine with another medicore status quo if it meant a lot of the issues I listed are at least suppressed for the first time ever, with the hope that stuff will change forever in our future. But we can't have that because half the population is insanely autistic for nonsense that's absent in objective reality
What a bizarre attempt at trying to pick a fight man. Frick. What a shame.
I'm not even trying to start a fight. I'm just ranting and confused about how people who obsess over useless crap ignore the real shit going on that's been talked about for decades
I think you made up a shadow in your head to get mad at. I'm literally not the person you seem to be frustrated with.
A shadow is singular. I believe it's a very real system that's the cause of most of this
Fair for now. America is not at a point where great change can actually happen
>a shadow is singular...
What on earth are you talking about. I'm not sure you read my post right at all.
>Shadow
What do you mean by this? Are you saying I've made up a false situation in my head, the conspiracy people I'm confused by, that I'm wrong to think about our current system of society in America, or something else?
geo-politics isn't an arena many can change, so dumb bullshit is more entertaining. would you rather stare at a math equation you can't solve or watch tv?
Absolute fricking moron.
i don't see myself living past 30. i've tried to change my life for the better. to network. all sorts of shit. no one is willing to give me a chance. i've prayed to god.
how am i supposed to live?
I've been so horny lately that I might just bite the bullet and download Tinder. I'm just sick of impotently cooming into napkins. Is this a mistake if I'm still a khv?
Unless you're hot or willing to swipe on fat chicks, your chances of landing some poon are next to impossible. Also, depending on how young you are, the women in your age range might say "not looking for hookups" in their bios, despite what people will try and tell you on the internet, young girls are a lot more prudish than you'd think.
>Unless you're hot or willing to swipe on fat chicks, your chances of landing some poon are next to impossible
Damn, that's sucks. Not even a chance if you're average-looking( barring landwhales, since that shit is gross)?
You might get one or two but looks will only get you so far if you're average, if you're average then you also need a great bio. And like I said, it depends on your age, if you're in your early 20s and you're openly saying that you're only looking to hook up, your chances are slim to none.
Get Tinder Bumble and Hinge and maybe others, do them all in parallel. Don't spend more than 5 minutes a day on each, get good at going in, swiping rapidly, and tuning back out. Don't even allow your brain to think about the individual girls you see, since 90% of them are bots and dead profiles. Tip: If they mention insta or snapchat/sc in their bio, it's a bot, and a ton of 6-7/10 "classic profile you'd expect to see on tinder" profiles (especially pretty girls with lowercase one-sentence memes) are dead profiles kept adrift by the app to make it seem like it's still active. Smile in all your pictures and try to look like a fun normal guy.
Kill your feelings, utterly destroy them preemptively so that you don't attribute any importance to being rejected or getting no matches, remember nothing matters and the whole thing is demented and half-scam half-fake anyway, so don't try to make sense of "the algorithm" or of anything in particular that happens to you on the apps.
Don't try too hard to be self-aware, it seems desperate, it's better to err on the side of being basic/boring than to be "too clever by half" and come across like you were agonizing and overthinking about your profile. Also don't lean too much into interests, remember these are women, they are only impressed by something if the herd vets you as an expert/high status version of that thing, otherwise you're safer saying "I like literature" than overly showing off that you actually know literature well. Be middle of the road when in doubt, but include some showoff of assets like being smart or funny or whatever, just remember to always do it in a way that seems natural.
Then get ready for a trickle of matches that may take weeks or months, if you're average looking. It's a numbers game so just do it in the background while you live your life and try to date decent women (women not on apps) normally, as a backup. Remember, try to limit it to 5-10 minutes a day max. DON'T chitchat for a thousand years with matches, establish common interests then go for coffee or a cheap date, be strategic with dates that aren't too far (uber $$) or too expensive. Be ready for flakes and ghosts, again kill your feelings and simply don't try to interpret it. Be yourself and see it as a possible thing to take a shot at but no big deal if it doesn't end up providing anything, worst case is you lost those 5-10 minutes a day for a few months.
Anything other than following this advice leads to madness and despair.
This is actually so fricking dispiriting. I'll keep your advice in mind in case I do end up downloading a dating app, but I think I'll just stick to real life for now. I've tried my hand at dating in real life once or twice, and it was already difficult and ended in disappointment, but Tinder and all these other services just sound like utter hellscapes
They are but think of it like applying for jobs. If you actually think of it as "applying for jobs," like it's some human process, you are going to see it as the most hellish and disgusting process ever filled with unfair dehumanization. But if you abstract from it and go "this is just the bullshit I gotta do mindlessly for 30-60 minutes a day until I get a job," it becomes tolerable.
just hire a hooker bro, shit's fire
Gross
will help you with your virginity at least
isn't it moronic to be a virgin in older age though?
>isn't it moronic to be a virgin in older age though?
Why would that be moronic?
>Haha, you didn't stick your dick in a woman and then thrust for a little bit until you eventually came while leaving her disappointed in the process. And don't forget, you're most likely gonna get sweaty and gross in the process.
Doesn't that just sound super fun?
suit yourself, virgin
>I have rationalized sex! That means I don't have to worry about it anymore.
Being a virgin isn't necessarily moronic, poor eunuchs don't really have a choice. But THAT was moronic. Easy on the copium.
that's a very clinical view of sex, however somewhat accurate. the best thing about intimacy is the ability to feel unguarded with someone else. so while the act of fricking can be simple and crude, how it came to be is greater than the act itself
I assume how it came to be sort of went like this.
>Caveman: Ug (points to gross caveman penis and then points to gross cavewoman vegana)
>Cavewoman: (Shrugs, gets on back, lifts up and spreads legs)
>Caveman: (Gets on knees and sticks gross caveman wiener into gross caveman vegana)
so you are lesser than a caveman!? if they were able to debase themselves through procreation, what does that make you?
>so you are lesser than a caveman!?
Sure, I've got no problem with that.
okay, satan. be the best hermit caveman you can be lol
Ug.
I'd rather be a weeaboo than a Koreaboo, something about Koreaboos irks me, why would you want to move to Korea of all places?
At least anime and manga is Japanese, Korean stuff on other hand is just a copy of American garbage with more garbage that's why it feels so empty
>garbage jungle noise they call music
>garbage visual abominations they call manhwa (Priest is actually good though)
>shit overcrowded cities even by shit overcrowded city standards
>each and every one of their games rapes you harder through layers of grinding and RNG hell than the mongols did them
It's baffling. At least there's a fair chance they'll wipe themselves off the earth on account of some unironic gender war going on.
Just looked up Priest, I like the art style, apparently, it got cancelled and the creator has never come out and said why, which I think it pretty based.
The first volume can be pretty edgy and might give you the impression it's just cheap violence, but after that it develops nicely. Some of the scenes can hit you really hard thanks to the art style. Real shame it got cancelled.
There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!
Any morbidly obese homosexual anons with extremely low self-esteem want to become my no homosexual partner?
I specify
>Homosexual
Because only a gay could have an interest in being around a male so closely for no reason.
>Morbidly obese
Because I'm extremely ugly and want someone that I feel is closer to my level. Being morbidly obese won't make you as ugly as I am, though. (Although I'm skinny)
>Low self-esteem
Because otherwise you wouldn't waste time with me.
>Purpose
I'm ridiculously lonely and want to talk to someone. Also would be nice to (no homo) sleep in bed with someone, (no homo) hug someone, (no homo) cuddle with someone, maybe a little (no homo) kissing too. Send me a message for further details...
CHINA INITITATES WW3 WITH EARTHQUAKE ATTACK ON TAIWAN
NATIONWIDE ARTIFICIAL WOMB RECALL
BODIES FOUND CLOGGING DRAINS
A BEGGER BEGS THAT NEVER BEGGED BEFORE
TEEN PROSTITUTE ADDICTED TO ABORTIONS
RAMPAGING CHIMERA ATT
Man, Sandy Hook was crazy.
Is it wrong to be in your late 20s and be in love with a 19 years old?
Yeah. Standby where you are, the imperial guard are heading to your location right now to execute you.
I want to know the taste of victory
Do something simple.
I am experiencing all encompassing fear about a medical condition I have. I'm convinced its a horrible terminal illness and that I'm going to die soon because of it. The anxiety is destroying me and making me a useless blob that can't get any work done.
How do I come to terms with a life unlived? I'm a miserable sack of shit that's achieved nothing and been a total failure. How do people deal with terminal illness? Even the prospect of it renders me incapable of finding the will to do anything at all.
What's wrong?
I'm 33 and my income is from doordashing. I was a general manager for chipotle near 11 years ago and continued that profession for 6 years. I wonder what barometer of success I should judge myself by; economic or personal. I had more money but I also worked 70+ hours a week, were as now I make enough to pay the bills, but nothing more. I wonder how people who really try to make the most out of life deal with the absurdism of our world. perhaps I'm weak-willed, or perhaps I caught on early, or any other rationalizing thought one could think. I'm just gonna get drunk again tonight, and not care about why anything happens. such things are beyond what I can understand.
Where can I find the fringe political clubs in my community like in no longer human
Be the change you wanna see in the world.
Ive got an earache and it sucks.
Haven't done much reading the past ~week or so. I got halfway thru Dune Messiah and just burnt out on it. Right now I'm reading The Secret Teachings of All Ages cause why not knock a couple percentage points off my progress? I've been reading it for over a year.
As someone with a background in science, I realized the only thing important to me in life is to make art. I'm not particularly good in drawing, and while I enjoy music, it's been a struggle to learn an instrument. So here I am, hoping to eventually create my magnum opus. As you can probably tell, my prose is subpar. I think being a director would be cool, but I'm afraid of failure and don't want to start a thread on IQfy because they will make fun of me. Is anyone in the same boat?
I am overwhelmed by the extreme complexity of life. The present moment slips through my fingers by the second and I don't know what I should have done with it.
I don't know what I should be doing right now instead of this. I thought that I was wasting my time, that I was distracting myself from something, but I truly don't know what I've been distracting myself from, or what it is I should've been doing.
I take my eyes away from my banal diversions and I see a world that sometimes confuses and terrifies me, sometimes presents itself as a limitless and lawless playgound waiting for me to exploit it, sometimes means nothing at all. Each action I take, each word that my fingers and my mouth produce feel like everything and nothing.
It's odd. I don't feel afraid of death anymore. In fact, now it truly feels like a release, a release from all this disorder that surrounds me, and the end to all my desires and all my fears. But until that day comes, every second that passes I am confronted with the question "What now?", and answering that question terrifies me to my core.
I want to go back to the simple drugged out state of the drunk, the media consumer, the porn addict, the pathetic teen who only wanted a girlfriend and didn't dedicate a passing thought to life and death matters. A harmless animal that exists to hurt itself and chase after meaningless diversions until it dies, but I can't. I feel a strange calling, the weight of etternity pressing down on me, the inescapable compromise of the second that ceases to exist forever.
I am afraid. So so so afraid. I feel like I am going insane. Every day starts with either a zealous conviction on something or a great anxious void. Every night is a difficult journey into dreams or nothingness. And in the meantime everything and nothing happens.
I hear ya m8
A short story of mine, that I worked on for years, just got rejected by a short story competition, a contest that I have been following for years. I've been eagerly waiting for months, anticipating good news of a victory, or at the very least, a shortlist nod. I've been rejected a lot but this was a contest that I really genuinely worked on. The near 7 months of wait for these results put me in a near catatonic state of anxiety because I really genuinely thought I would win. For months, I'd go to sleep dreaming of how my writing career would change because of this one small contest. Alas, that's all gone.
Lol it reminds me of this time that I went on a date with this hot chick just before summer break for uni. I was so into her and hung up on dating her that lost weight and worked out that entire summer, in the hopes that she'd find me even hotter when I get back. Every night, for some reason, id think of all the incredible positives of losing weight, of being more attractive to her. When we all returned for summer, i found out she started dating a dude fatter than me lmao.
In any way, it teaches me a lesson. To not get hung up so much over contests and specific things over a long period of time. Just focus on craft, on writing, and getting better every single story. At the end of it all, it matters that I write a good story, and that's what I need to work towards. The rest is genuinely secondary.
A normie just said that he is an ''anarcho-socialist''. How is it possible to have anarchism+socialism?
Anarchism is a form of socialism. Anarcho-socialist is a redundant term.
lol what
Worker's voluntarily cooperate with each other. They own the means of production. You can think it's very silly and utopian but either way it's a form of socialism.
I work with others and hold stock in the company I work for, I'm an anarcho-socialist
If worker's held equal shares in the company and made up the sole ownership of the company it would indeed be a worker's cooperative. An entire economy made up of worker's cooperatives with no government would be anarcho-socialism. Just because you don't own Amazon stock despite working in an Amazon warehouse does not disclude you from holding these silly beliefs.
but what if I did own stock? what percentage would be needed to accept this definition? and what is government? can there be a population that isn't governed? so yes, it is a silly concept
It wouldn't exactly be stock. It's more like each employee owns an equal share and an equal vote in governance. I'm guessing anarchists would prefer more of a direct democracy type thing. Large worker's cooperatives in the real world generally elect representatives to manage the cooperative, like voting for directors as a stockholder but each person has only 1 stock and is an employee.
I live on an isolated farm right next to a huge forest. There was a helicopter with a searchlight going over the forest the other night. Kinda strange... I didn't see anything on the news.
thinking about how incredibly mediocre writers get to hire the best artists and recieve unfathomable praise for something as dumb as "gay main character" or whatever and i hate that i can *feel* the forced lack of soul and spirit in a work, and in modern times that should not be the case! homies can write books on their own now, comics were never easier to do, it's so easy to not be limited yet all around me are amateur stories not saying what they want to say, having generic or mediocre beats and messages, mid art style, yet still getting *all* the praise.
all so tiring
A movie called American Fiction came out recently and it kind of relates to what you're talking about. I recommend checking it out if it sounds interesting to you, I thought it was pretty good.
looks interesting.
but i am reffering to the lack of child-like wonder new shit fails to inspire in me, it's all so "sleek and clean and perfect"
This motherfricker, named Daniel, was a piece of fricking shit. At 3 AM on a Sunday he broke into the local church and robbed it of its holy water. Straight up used a shop vac to pump that holiness out. INTO A PLASTIC RECEPTACLE. Disgusting.
Anyway, this sin could not wait for the wrath of God, and must be dealt with NOW.
He is in a 2007 Honda Civic. Me? I'm in a 2019 Honda Civic. The added weight of electronics assisted me in PIT maneuvering his vehicle, and he quickly ended up upside-down in a ditch.
I go up to his door, open it up, and as he is struggling to regain some semblance of understanding of what just happened I shove a tazer into his armpit. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ goes the tazer. I literally just kept it on until it no longer tazed, and then I grabbed my back-up tazer to continue the shocking violence. Before running out of charge on the back-up, I pull him out by his hair and zip him into a specialized rubber bag. I then put the bag onto my back with the attached straps and walk him into the trunk. Once he is all secure, I drive home.
I hoisted him out and brought him to the basement's bathroom. I had a hook above the tub for suspending the bag from. Then? I pumped non-holy water through a hole in the top. He started screaming and shit, but it was not very loud due to rubber's insulating properties. The screaming straight up stopped when the water got to his face (an assumption, I cannot actually see into the bag, transparent materials for such constructions are pricey). I stopped pumping water because I did not want him to die yet (there is a hole in the bottom of the bag for drainage, but it is not that big).
It is VERY important that you give a motherfricker time to suffer so that they make their own amends with God. In a way, I'm doing God's work. I'm giving Daniel a chance to not face hell, for I give him a temporal taste of it here on this beautiful green Earth.
After a view rounds of water pumping, I pump in some oatmeal. Motherfricker must be hungry (it's been 16 hours since he was nabbed). Once he is finished eating, I go to take a nap.
After waking up, I visit Daniel. I see that he took a shit, because I can see some of it in the tub. It is all mushed up and shit (lol) because he must have used his feet to crumble it through the bottom hole of his bag.
Anyway this pissed me off a lot so I decided to just take a bat and beat the fricking shit out of him inside the bag. One crack (think I hit his ribs) and a little scream emits. Two cracks and a BIG scream emits. The third whack makes the bag start moving a bit (fricking muscles). The 4th whack was to his face, and blood starts running out of the bottom hole.
I unzip him out of the bag. I cut off his fingers. I cut off his toes. I rape his anus with rebar. I expose his spine and pour alcohol onto it. That'll teach YOU motherfricker. God showed me that he had apologized for his sins, and he is now almost certainly in heaven.
Pornography is an addiction that has nearly destroyed my life. I crave it at nearly every waking moment, it bleeds into my dreams. Going a single month without consuming it is a challenge for me, a challenge that has proven to be extremely difficult, but that has also changed me deeply.
Imagine 14 years of consuming porn daily. DAILY. From a quick 15 minute wank to the 8 hour gooning session, my brain has been scarred by these intense visions of exagerated vile sexuality. There is no way I could have come out unscathed, and now I know for sure that my mind is damaged and enslaved to something I am struggling to understand.
I feel disgusted at the notion that this is the one thing that gives my days meaning and purpose. There is something else I chase after and crave, something that I can only experience through those images and audios and videos and fantasies; it is not about the pornography itself, but the thing that begins existing when I interact with it.
My mind demands something I can't find anywhere. A sensation, a superstimulus that just doesn't exist. I could spend my entire life learning a craft, trying to capture that thing, to perfect the sensory depravities my mind demands.
I've gone insane. When I flee from porn I experience existential dread. I need to understand what is happening to me if I am to stop it. This can't be my life. I can't live just to jerk off to cartoons. I can't live just to fight against my urge to jerk off to cartoons, but somehow, in all the grandiosity of human experience, I cannot something else.
This has basically been my intrusive thoughts since 2021. All my traits that I felt summed up my identity are slowly eroding one by one. I used to be the funny, smart, chill guy who made everyone feel good. Now, I don't even bother to meet new people since every time I do, I feel like a failure at being myself and being interesting (including my small group of friends ). It's like quarantine gave me an ego death with zero of the positive effects.
In a few years, I'll be that mid-20's guy who hasn't gotten his shit together. This terrifies me since it'll probably happen with the pace I'm currently at. Even worse, I'll be 23 in my junior year of college next spring, while everyone I used to know from high school will be getting bachelor degrees or being 1-2 years off from being doctors/professors. That'll just make everything worse for my already failing mental health. At this current pace, it's culminating. I'm going to be alone and pathetic for the rest of my life. While every attempt I've done so far, hasn't helped one bit
lol if you're having these thoughts this young you're in for a rough time. abingdon the disney-esque view of your reality and accept your situation. life is not what you want, it's what you get. if that's too difficult, well, you know how to stop it
Everything's going to be all alright because the Almighty will make it right.
>go outside
>everyone scowls at me and looks at me like I'm a freak
>any awkward attempt at social interaction makes them hate me more and try to get rid of me
>literally nothing I say or do will change that
>even my own family is maliciously hateful towards me and excludes me
>I haven't done anything wrong, but they still hate me and don't want to include me in anything
>so I never have an opportunity to learn social skills and become this upbeat normie I was supposed to be
>they treated me like this even when I was a teenager so obviously there is no hope now
>doing anything at all except cocooning myself away with my electronic distractions simply reminds me of how fricked I am
it's over
probably negative mental imprints that sit in your field. try square breathing 4x4x4x4 seconds: breathing in, holding, breathing out, holding. try for 5-10 minutes. all the best, fren.
Ask cats for help. You think they're here but they've only ever been to Interzone, your mouth says one thing but in Interzone you're honest.
Im jealous that Americans get to see an eclipse. There isn't going to be one in my country for over 100 years
The global reaction to Oct 7th has radicalized me.
Fellow conservatives in my church who once argued against abortion are now openly supporting our tax dollars being used to fund the deaths of innocent children. I didn't know why until I dug deeper.
All of the memes are true and I am losing my fricking mind. I am actually going insane. I don't know what to do.
Protestants are crazy!
>I am actually going insane.
You go to church, you're not exactly of sound mind.
IQfy is one of the if not the most atheistic board in this site, and I can't help but look at anons like you throwing edgy sentences and think it's really cute. Reminds me of people in middle/high school brainstorming one liners to own others. On that note, if you think that's an insanity factor, you really should go outside more. Catholic or whatever else, religious or not, everyone's going bonkers.
>everyone's going bonkers.
I agree, doesn't mean you should add to your insanity with the belief of a god despite having 0 proof.
>proof
You have no idea what that even means. You can't think about any subject but keep parroting cute meme phrases you don't understand.
Someone's upset.
Also, it's pretty simple, I think you're the one who's struggling with it.
>it's pretty simple
Is what someone who has no clue what it means would say. You're appealing to religious dogma while complaining about religious dogma and undermining your understanding of history, language and logic in the process, a complete clusterfrick of nonsense. My issue is not as much with your braindead anti-European propaganda as it is with how unfathomably moronic, uninformed and anti-science homosexuals like you are while presenting yourselves as authorities on everything. You don't even have the tools to correct yourself or be corrected since you don't understand what any of the words you parrot like "proof" mean.
Yet you have just described one factor that definitely makes people insane. You can't taste with your ears, you can't see with you nose, and you can't smell with your fingers. A poet would be justified in calling you daft for trying to analyze his poems as one would a scientific article. Why do you do the same with religion? And in doing so, do you not realize that despite knowing fictional stories and characters are, well, fictional, you still relate to them, become attached to them, and maybe take some of their lessons to life, even though they literally do not exist and you know it? Even if you take religion as a huge fanfiction, what's the difficulty in either applying this lesson to yourself or, if nothing else, to feel empathetic towards those who are religious themselves?
Perhaps that's what fascinates me the most about IQfy. I won't even argue how science and religion once held hands, or how catholicism once embraced both reason and faith, until both sides parted to completely different paths, because it's not about that; it's that enough of you can't see this pattern and don't realize that by opposing it you are the complete antithesis of a great deal, if not the entire point of this board. Yet here you abound. It's online proof that the IQ curve bell meme is real, and that people really are getting more and more insane, religious or not.
IQfy is probably the most religious board on the site.
Well, I don't think one denies the other. I see a lot of religious threads, and religious posts outside these threads, but also a lot of atheists. It might sound ironic when I put it that way, but IQfy culture rewards contrarianism because that's what gets you (You)s, so I think it's just natural.
This is the primary place to discuss such things. No one is talking about Aquinas on IQfy. Only other place you'd see religion mentioned much is on /misc/ and IQfy and those people are morons.
Good point.
There's no pulling myself out of the hole I'm in and I don't even feel like I put myself here. I have time, that's the best that can be said for it. I have gone in to destroy the world. I have destroyed the world. Frick me. It's unbelievable how all the parts that made it work were just shaved off one by one, they just fell off. Everything is broken but if I have nothing I will kill myself, so I cling to what is broken. There is so much anger. There is no dignity. There is fire. Maybe with time something will change.
Im going to the bookstore after Im done with my work
Recommend me a lifechanging philosophy book
12 rules of life or whatever the frick that jordan peterson book is called. I've never read it but I strongly agree with his anti sesame street tweets, so the book has gotta be good.
what the hell do these gays do to be twitter popular?
Like most of them are mid and don't have anything to say, they just draw alright.
I don't get it, i feel like i have to be part of an online clique to mean something online but i do not like these people not one bit, they are so obviously latent narcissists it's insane. Any criticism levied at them is turned into a percieved attack of character, yet they give themselves the right to say anything.
I don't get it, should i stop bothering? My friends are the only real audience i need. But i want my voice heard, an impartial observer to come and see, y'know? I feel like the cliques limit artistic liberty way too much and care too much about image, i worry i might be corrupted like them. But like i also need to atleast *bother* with them until i get my own voice heard. They also don't mistify art and that's just a fricking disgrace like no i will not send you the study or anything i conjured this from my heart no i will not give you tips or break it down or explain anything it's art figure it out your fricking self you have the title right fricking there maybe it's a clue, huh?