>Tolkien's entire manuscripts contain 9,250 pages

>Tolkien's entire manuscripts contain 9,250 pages
>entire world, culture and history with their languages in exquisite detail
>almost zero reference to sex or sexuality
So uhhh..... how do people have babies in Middle-Earth? Do they just look into each other's eyes lovingly and bam the woman conceives?

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The male of the species puts his penis in the woman's vegana and after some stimulation he ejaculates a liquid which fertilizes the egg of the woman and after several months she gives birth.
    He just didn't feel the need to talk about it. Same with pissing and shitting.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      i am 12 and thank u for explmainging

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >how do people have babies in Middle-Earth?
    They pop out of breeding sacs like the Orcs silly

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Edwin Muir said in his review of Return of the King that he got the impression that it was written by a virgin and that upset Tolkien so much he complained to his publisher.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Edwin Muir confirmed degenerate coomer

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Quote?

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Supposedly Tolkien did write a couple of sex stories; the Tolkien Estate is likely keeping it all locked in perpetuum.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      i have been shown excerpts by my uncle that works at the tolkien estate and in an expunged chapter aragorn sucks his own cum out of arwen's butthole and the phrase used is "the pearly treasure speckled divinely with hazel"

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I seriously cannot imagine a race that does not age and remains looking beautiful forever and isn't completely perverted. What did the Elves even DO for those thousands of years? Write poetry? Come on.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          They probably get it out of their system in the first 100 years.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          https://i.imgur.com/HiA3OUL.png

          Supposedly Tolkien did write a couple of sex stories; the Tolkien Estate is likely keeping it all locked in perpetuum.

          >they are vastly different from what we call sex stories today
          they got married and slept together. simple as

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          The Elves actively feel the power and presence of Illuvatar, I'd imagine they're beyond such petty things like being perverted.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's the point, they are perfect catholics, they can't have sex unless it's once in a century within marriage (marriage is permanent and you can't divorce even after death).

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Got a belly laugh out of me, thanks

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sam gets married and has several kids. Faramir marries Eowyn. Aragorn marries Arwen.

    Are you just disappointed there’s no explicit sex scenes?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ok but show me some times when a character in any Tolkien work expresses lust or sexual desire for another.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why would you want that? LOTR is not ASOIAF.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No scenes of them shitting like in ASOIAF either. Do they not shit in LOTR?

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    frodo daily rawdogged sam

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    ?
    Do you guys not know about Laws and Customs among the Eldar?

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why are millennials addicted to pornography?
    There's a difference between healthy sexuality and inserting sex everywhere.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Libidinality *is* everywhere. Millennials have nothing to sublimate their libidinality into that is socially valued. Unlike Onan, their brother has no widow to spill into.

      Your inability to conduct analysis is a demonstration of my thesis.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >There's a difference between healthy sexuality and inserting sex everywhere
      No

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >healthy sexuality and inserting sex everywhere
      What's the difference?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Have you ever had it in the ear before?

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >So uhhh..... how do people have babies in Middle-Earth? Do they just look into each other's eyes lovingly and bam the woman conceives?
    Yeah, and he doesn't talk about Aragorn's tax policy, or the sewage system, either.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I want to know Aragorn's sex worker policy

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      George Martin also never goes even in a shallow way into the tax policy in Westeros between the different rules.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Surprised nobody has mentioning the obvious foot fetish. Hairy feet? Come on.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    They simply pop out of holes in the ground.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    re-read the silmarillion he explains it with abundant clarity in the chapter

    "Of Maeglin"

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Most mythological stories don't tend to concern themselves with sex outside of X begat Y with Z kind of descriptions.

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